Rigged!
by Sombereyes
Summary: Summary: City-slickers can't keep up with Shizuru Fujino, a country woman who can hold her own in a man's world. A mechanic by trade, not by pleasure, she's often saddled with repairs. When a Juvenile delinquent, Natsuki Kuga needs a new lease on life, Shizuru's world gets turned upside down. Can they survive a romance that teeters on a slippery slope as thick as oil? Shiz/Nat. AU.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: It's that time again, for a story from the heart.

I do not own Mai HiME/Mai Otome.

A special thank you is in order for Ms Kanzaki, who's going to work on this project as a beta...

"Talking."  
_Thinking._

* * *

**Rigged!  
****Chapter 1**_**  
**_(Shizuru POV)

Life is not perfect.

That is a lesson learned at a young age, perhaps when a frozen treat falls off the cone on a hot summer's day, a simple truth. A person may encounter such a thing whilst sitting on a park bench. Is that person waiting, or feeding the birds? Little does it really matter, such person may leave, just as lonely as when they came. Even so, that person would still return the next day. That kind of devotion is unwavering, and everyone kindles some form of it. Apparent or not, the fact remains a subtle waft in every life, common occurrences are merely that...chance meetings are still only a fluke of nature.

And...if there is such a thing as fate, I've yet to meet it.

Still, even with the imperfection that life is, I quite like it. The abstract beauty is something I enjoy. Maybe I'm just sentimental, and the wind chimes singing in the distance, is a melody only I make of it. Perhaps, to everyone else, the haphazard tinkling of the breeze is little more than racket. I would be willing to accept that. Still, I feel as if some people just have a cloud hanging over them, even at birth. These people, they're not at fault..they aren't to blame. Lashing out may simply be a cry for help. A shout for all who may be willing to listen, just like the chimes.

A beating heart is such a way, I believe. Forever changing, the tune never exactly the same.

I'm alright with that. I don't mind if a cloud hangs over my head. It could rain on me all day, and I would dance. I've always been such a person, I recall. As a child I would dance barefoot in the sprinkles, when it thundered, I was entranced by the sounds that rattled the earth. Even the lightning, though I was told it was dangerous, made me want to reach out and touch it. I suppose, when one thinks about that, it makes sense I've found misfortune to be a gentle thing. Think on it. Fire while hot, won't burn you when treated with care. An icicle won't stab you, if the tip is blunted between two fingers. A knife can cut away the ties that bind you, it is the beholder that makes it a weapon.

This world is filled with unfortunate things, yet even still, it is a fortunate place to be.

I fully believe that. I entirely have faith, that a person can be tempered if given time and chance. I believe a human that is angry, is like a storm. There is reason and recourse. Destructive though it may be, like a monsoon that wreaks havoc on all in its path, a healing breath is all that's required. The scars left on the land, a grizzly reminder, merely beg for renewal. Just as such, haphazard people seek something they have not yet found. I think, fractured hearts like that are beautiful, just like a morning storm.

It isn't so terrifying, as long as you know the sun will shine again.

…

_If anyone would have told me this would be my life, I think, I would have laughed_. Her thought was merely a soft droplet in the pool of her mind. _Then again, I could manage to do much worse. _Sometimes, in the quiet time, what little of it she had to herself, she would amuse that. _I wonder, is this what it means to be a parent, or, do I simply feel moved by a situation I can't change? _Her powerless endeavor was currently refusing to greet the day, the teen hadn't slept well the night before. _It isn't as if I have any true attachment to the girl, nor she to me...at that point, can she even benefit from my guidance?_

Her answer wasn't to be gifted, the air dead around her.

It was early in the morning, the sun peaking out of the muddy clouds. It seemed to wish to color the sky in happier tones. "Pink skies at night, a sailor's delight. Pink skies in the mornin' sailors take warning." Even as she said that from the kitchen table, idly sipping on her tea, the old adage was foretelling. _You always welcome foreboding, don't you?_ She couldn't help but look across the table, a lazy figure whose face, pressed into the wood, made no sound. "Nao, wake up already." A gentle, but firm voice was easily ignored. "Nao, it's impolite to sleep at the table." She told the dozing teen again, running her fingers through the short fiery tresses.

"Nuunh." The sound was a low grumble as Nao rolled over onto her other cheek, batting the hand away.

A low chuckle made Shizuru realize things were far different than it had been a few years ago. It was something she knew, she tracked Nao's progress every week, and talked with the probation officer every few days. Even so, the girl wasn't exactly polite. In fact, she was still quite vicious when she wanted to be. _Well, at least she no longer tries to pick a fight with me. _She would ignore the pet peeve for now. The table wasn't meant for sleep. "Nao, we're due in the shop soon." She told the young teen again, grabbing her by the shoulder to jostle her only slightly. "You have to wake up now."

"Damn it." Nao muttered, picking up her head. With lime green eyes unfocused and fixed into a scowl, she had no intention of waking up just yet. "Jesus, can't get any sleep around here, can ya?" She pushed Shizuru's hand away again, but this time she also got up to go get ready. "What's next, one of Haruka's stupid lectures?"

"Nao!" Shizuru called, following down the hall. "You will not take vain in public, how many times must I repeat myself?" The girl was already up the stairs ducking away from the reprimand. "Some people find that to be horribly offensive." Leaning heavily on the wooden bannister, looking up at the second floor, Nao was not within her sight. "If you don't straighten up, today's going to be long and arduous."

"Funny thing for a lesbian to say." Nao shouted from her room. "You ain't public either!"

_Oh, so she wants to play games today!_ Shizuru marched up the stairs, a stern gleam in her crimson eyes. She leaned into Nao's doorway a deep frown on her face. "Well, you shouldn't say that kind of thing out loud. Think of it all you want, but don't go announcing it." Shizuru told her, uncaring that the girl was parading around in her underwear. "Haruka's the least of your worries." Due to Nao's belligerence, the girl didn't have a door she could lock, only a sheet that covered the frame. "You live with me, in my house, under my roof." She furrowed her brows, feeling as if something was off kilter. "You're not getting sick, are you?" Suddenly agitation, mild though it was, turned to worry.

Nao was in a bad mood...worse than usual. "I'm fine, just leave me alone." Defeated, tired, and more than just a little crabby.

_Well, something's not right_. Shizuru thought to herself as she looked over at the calendar that sat at Nao's bedside. _Ah, just as I thought...you can't hide things that easily anymore_. It was an anniversary day, a bad one at that. She let the concern show in her eyes, a meek feeling niggling the back of her mind. "Nao, you can't keep getting angry every year." _She doesn't deserve this, but the world doesn't deserve her unruly behavior, either. _"Sooner or later, you'll have to accept things the way they are."

"You're not my mom, so don't tell me what to do." Nao pushed passed Shizuru as she took her clothes in hand, storming off to go shower.

Shizuru stood there, the morning a hard one to deal with. That's entirely the issue, isn't it? She sighed, Nao wasn't a bad girl...troubled, and walking down a destructive path, but she wasn't the only one to blame for her actions. _I'll let your temper slide for today, but I can't always be so easy on you...someone's got to look out for you, even if I'm not your mother._ There were so many things Shizuru wanted to say, and not any possible way to say them. With little else she could do, she shook her head, dismissing the entire event for now.

She had to get ready for work.

Pattering into her bedroom, she took a look at her closet, realizing Nao's colorful ranting wasn't exactly untrue. _So what if I look stereotypical? _Shizuru asked herself, once again yanked down into her own mental reverie. _It isn't as if I'd wear my good garments to work_. Still, the fact that the first thing she pulled out was a baggy plaid shirt. It didn't do much to ease the sentiment. _Even if I am interested in women, it isn't as if I've ever acted on the desire. _Then she smiled, shaking her head. _Am I obvious, or merely guilty because of her preconceived notions? _Shizuru decided it best to ward the thought away with a vengeance. _It doesn't matter now does it?_ She laughed at herself, pulling her hair back into a tight ponytail for the day. When she's right, she's right..._I most assuredly wouldn't deny it_.

…

It wasn't as if she was unhappy, she had a decent life.

_Drat!_ She couldn't particularly complain about her situation, at least not easily._Of all the times for the wind to kick up. _Sure, she assumed there were days, like today, that seemed to drag on endlessly. _Fruitless to build a card house, it's nonsensical anyway, I suppose_. Days when she would just sit around with the garage open, trying to keep cool. _Not that I have anything better to do, either_. Admittedly, that very notion was an often failing ambition. It wasn't as if that was a travesty. _It isn't as if I could actually be constructive, Chie finished the paper work_. Just a fact.

A long suffering sigh escaped her lips as she glanced around the dull room. Surely, she could act like some of her other coworkers. If she really wanted to pass the time, a momentary lapse in good sense wouldn't hurt her. They had come up with colorful ways to keep busy, and Shizuru knew that if she had wanted, she could do the same. _Somehow though, I doubt Midori would take humor in any more gags. The motor oil Nao spilled earlier was trouble enough. _A wet sounding, muted slap greeted her. _What on earth?_ She looked around, but found nothing to hint at what was going on, proceeding to gather up her cards and try again. Another sound was followed by snickering.

There were only so many times a person could spin around in a chair before it became dizzying. The other, apparently amusing idea, -flinging spit balls at the ceiling fans- just didn't appeal to her. "Nao, stop that!" Another audible splat hit the cleaning. "Chie..." Shizuru's voice a vocal warning. "Don't encourage it." Idly, she was waiting for the phone to ring, or perhaps, a passerby in need of help. Even a lost soul in need of directions would have been a godsend on this rather dull afternoon.

"Can't we just close up?" Nao sighed. "My ass hurts."

"Well, then perhaps you should get off of it? Find something positive to do." Shizuru replied dryly as she gazed upon the clock. "It's only ten in the morning. We have two hours before we can give up."

"It isn't like it matters anyway." Nao replied, drumming the pen she was holding. "The boss is totally out of it, who cares what we do?"

Shizuru gazed behind her, Midori was indeed asleep at her desk. "I care." Still, it was hard to argue with Nao's logic. There was literally nothing to do. "People will get the wrong idea about us. If we just close early every day, they'll think we're unreliable."

"Hardly anyone has come by here, nimrod." Nao was tired, bored, and sweaty. A very bad combination for all involved on a day like today. "I just want to go home and sleep."

"A few more hours." Shizuru told her again, trying to be encouraging. "Then we can go home." That idea didn't appeal to her, knowing Nao would resort to loitering around, being antisocial. _At least here, she can harass Midori...if she wakes up, that is._

"We've gotten three cars in the past four days. Everyone goes into the city." Nao ranted, sending another wad of wet paper flying towards the ceiling. "We don't need to be here."

"It makes sense. The gear there is shiny and new." Chie finally chimed in, bored, and without anything else to do on the computer. "Grand openings always offer new sales, and this town isn't very big. The city can offer competitive prices." Chie shrugged. "I wouldn't worry about it. Sooner or later, they'll come crawling back." In fact, Chie was counting on that happening very soon. "They may have the new equipment, but we've been here for years. We've been raised into this line of work. We were born for it."

"You just like the fact that you can play around on the internet all day." Shizuru had to agree though, this job was their very lifeblood. "When was the last time you even changed a tire?"

"Hey, it's bad enough I've gotta tow people around." Chie wasn't really bothered by it, one way or the other. "Besides, when was the last time you fixed one of Nao's clerical errors?"

"Touche." Shizuru could at least agree to that. It was the one thing everyone hated. Nao was a great up and coming mechanic, but highly unfit for any sort of paperwork. It didn't help that she couldn't read very much at all. "You girls are made for this, but not me. Still, I promised my father I would look after his passions, and he did love the industry." Shizuru told them wistfully. "Although, I hate just sitting around, feeling as if there's nothing that could be done."

"Well, there really isn't." Chie looked around in search of something, coming up short. "You've done everything there is to do."

"I know." Shizuru replied, glancing back at the clock. "I'd do anything to get junk heap right about now."

"Same here." Such an admission was a lot, coming from the laziest one of the bunch. "Either that, or to see tits for brains take off that top of hers." Nao mumbled under her breath as she looked to the place that had just opened down the street. "I'm telling ya 'Zuru, That one chick is made to be sitting on tables, not waiting on them." With an appraising eye, Nao couldn't help but admire the busty girl as she went about greeting the new customers.

"Can you please be civil...just for once?" Though she was nagging, she partly had to agree, even if not outwardly. _That's one way to put it_. Shizuru thought as she looked outside. "They're all very pretty, but really, it's just your average little eatery, Nao." She had been watching the festivities for the past few days as well. _Not to mention, they're far too old for her._ "I don't see why you're so transfixed by a few cute girls."

"Cute?! I want what you're smoking." Nao laughed, pointing vigorously at another waitress. "They're porn stars in maid outfits!"

Logic told her that today, despite her greatest efforts, she just wouldn't win. "Nao, that's an apron." Shizuru tried the keep the smirk of her face, but even that was a failing endeavor. "There's nothing remotely sexual about it. Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Hey, at least she's got good taste." Chie argued she came to stand by Shizuru. "Her name is Aoi. She's pretty cool, actually. In fact, I'd wager that she has the goods in the right places."

"The way the two of you talk!" _So, you goad her more!_ The woman of fawn tresses was unsure of just who to blame anymore. "You make it sound as if red lights should be shining out of their front door." She was met with two very perverse grins, and for not the first time today, she cursed her boredom. "If you had your way, those poor girls would greet everyone on the hood of a car, legs spread." Shizuru sighed shaking her head.

"There's an idea!" Nao smirked as she snapped her fingers. "We should see how they taste."

"Nao, really, that's quite enough." _God, she's insufferable today..._Shizuru found her resolve, but only after rolling her eyes. "Maybe, if you're good, we can eat dinner there another day_." Just wait another year or two first_.

…

A long day in the shop with nothing to do dragged on, they closed in the middle of the afternoon. Freedom from work gifted reprieve, something Nao didn't need copious amounts of, least she get into trouble.

Shizuru watched from the swing that overlooked the front yard. It was a seat for two, painted white. The poor old thing needed a new coat. It was something else to muse about, rather than the strapping young man that was giving her the eye from next door. _I'm too young for you, boy...best get your eyes back on the race_. True she was beautiful, but it bothered her when people thought of her only as a lady. It was a mistake better not to be made around these parts...the young ones tried too, regardless of what their parents told them. _Nao's gonna pass you up again, if you keep that up, boy_.

Everyone who knows her, knew she could hold her own. She didn't much care for having someone tell her she couldn't do something, especially if it was only because of her gender. Even so, she wasn't exactly an average bumpkin either. It made her difficult to approach, her parents were land owners, a lot of money lined their pockets. Her father's investments in the automobile industry only further addled the small community. Due to that alone, most people with half their salt stood clear of Shizuru. They knew better, and it helped that she stuck mostly to herself.

Truth be told, Shizuru had no need for the money. Working was a hobby, a way to pass the time...

When there wasn't a job at hand, she was bored. Horribly so, and even though she wasn't exactly a social butterfly, she wasn't a shut-in either. She enjoyed keeping an eye on the girls from the nearby city. It was a pet project, of sorts. They made an uncanny name for themselves, little hoodlums that they were. Leather jacking, hot rod riding, beer drinking city girls. Those were the types of children that Shizuru normally dealt with, and normally only for a short time. _They haven't a clue just who it is they're messin' with, now do they?_ She wondered that as she saw the redhead popping wheelies with her motorbike. "Nao, cut that out!" The redhead was a special case.

Shizuru sat out on her deck, pondering the events, and Nao's situation. It bothered her that Nao's anger still ran so deep, and even so, she couldn't fault the girl. _I would likely react the same, if someone I cherished were abused in such a fashion. _Even if she could accept that, she knew Nao wasn't innocent either. In her lap, she held a file that had been given to her, Nao's history from the delinquency center. _Nao's relatives include her mother her aunt, and a distant uncle. The mother's in a coma, the aunt has been charged with neglect, and her uncle wants nothing to do with her. To make matters considerably worse, Nao's father is nonexistent in her life._ When she considered that, things began to make sense.

_Taken into custody originally for petty theft and constantly running away, they found her life with her aunt to be unsuitable for any child_. She turned the page, a list of minor charges added up. _Put into the system at the age of twelve_. Shizuru had more time than she wanted at her disposal, and that gave her time to think. It's been two years since then. She could remember the call she'd gotten. A friend of hers was a probation officer, and when Shizuru had been told of kid in need of a foster home, Shizuru dived right in._I really should call Haruka and accept her request for the other girl...it might help Nao to have a friend her own age, maybe even just so that she knows she's not alone. _There were plenty of boys who lived in the area, but no girls Nao's age.

She pulled out her cellphone, a trinket that wasn't really something she used often. The number wasn't saved in the contacts list, it was one she knew by heart. Dialing it came easy, waiting for the ruckus on the other end was the thing she dreaded most. "What happened this time!" The bellowing voice was so loud, Shizuru yanked her phone away from her ear swiftly, avoiding most of the shout.

"A lovely afternoon to you too, Haruka." Shizuru said placidly, knowing that it was just Haruka's way. "Perhaps I should retract the statement? It sounds as if you've had quite a day." Her blond friend had always been boisterous.

"Never mind that!" The woman on the other end of the phone dismissed her. "What did Yuuki do this time?" Her voice made it known, she assumed the worst.

"This call has very little to do with Nao." She closed her eyes, licking her lips to steady herself one last time. "This is about the girl you called about last week. You say she needs some help?"

"Yeah, more or less." Haruka was relaxed, at ease with her good friend, and even though Shizuru could hear the haphazard clicking of the keyboard, she knew better than to think it was Haruka typing. She wasn't good with computers. "Let's see here." Haruka grumbled, looking for the person in question. "God, I hate when Yukino's on patrol, leaves me to fiddle with this thing..." After a bit more clicking, and no small amount of grumbling, Haruka's voice perked up. "Ah, found it!" She nearly clapped in praise for herself. "Let's see, a girl with the family name of Kuga. She's been in the system for years, transferred here just last week."

"Sounds interesting." Shizuru told Haruka kindly. "What type of history does she have?"

"Damn thing!" A large and audible crash was heard, followed by Haruka's deep sigh. "Shizuru, you know that I'm useless with computers unless Yukino is around..."

"Then just tell me what you know." Shizuru urged the woman. "Anything you know at all will do.".

"She's a teenager with a bad attitude!" Haruka shouted, as if it had been obvious. "What's there to tell? The girl's like Nao...a pain in my ass, and driving me nuts!"

"What kind of bad attitude, Haruka?" Shizuru asked her then. "I need to know what I would be dealing with."

"I don't know all that much, it isn't my case. It's Yukino's." Haruka told her then, brushing off the entire thing. "Apparently you're looking at the same kind of thing. Bad home life, Kuga has no family. She's got a lot of problems about it. Records say her mom died in some sort of accident. They found Kuga with the body at the time they declared the mother's death...it's a big mess, and it's only gone downhill the older she gets...Shizuru, do you want the little troublemaker or not?"

Haruka was used to this, it was her job, and she saw things every day that Shizuru couldn't even dream up. Nao's story had been sickening enough, and Shizuru had felt torn for a long time. Now she was hearing another story, another broken home. It happened every day, and someone was always the victim. _Of course she would be withdrawn about it, that would be the only way to cope in her line of work_. Her eyes cut to the street. It had been hard at first, Nao wasn't an easy nut to crack, but now she was opening up slowly. If anything, that gave Shizuru hope. "Bring Kuga by, Haruka...I'll watch over her."

"Gotcha." Haruka told her. "The processing will be done by the weekend." She paused, as if thinking about something. "Her personal name is Natsuki." Then she hung up.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I don't have much to say this chapter. I just want to thank Ms Kanzaki for her continual support on this work, with her help, this may just be the best fan fiction I've had the ability to work on yet.

I don't own Mai HiME/Mai Otome.

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**Rigged!**  
**Chapter**_** 2  
**__(Nao POV)_

I don't care much for other people...they're kinda dumb...

I've always been like that. When I was little, mom was my only friend in the entire world. We didn't have a lot of money, so I never went to nursery school. It was me, and my mom...that's it, she was the only person who really cared. She taught me everything so that I could get ready for school, but when I went for my first day of class, I realized I didn't know anyone. I didn't want to be with the other kids. I had a feeling that just didn't fit right. It seemed off somehow...that heavy unwanted feeling. I get it even now. A sense of not really belonging. At first I was told I was just being shy, and mom left me there at the kindergarten. I can't really blame her, most of the other parents did the same thing.

I don't recall anything bad happening, but, I remember saying I never wanted to go back. I hated the noise, and the all encompassing reminder that I was the idiot of the class. I didn't pick up things as fast as everyone else, so I was used to being called names, that didn't bother me. What bugged me was structure, the idea that I wasn't needed, that no one really wanted me there. All of the other kids made friends, and I clung to the corner of the room.

I went every day, despite what I wanted...so I just sat there...watching and waiting.

It never really got easier, either. I wasn't much for making friends, I just didn't care about them. I didn't like playing and I wasn't good at reading...to be honest, I didn't have many hobbies. I liked to watch television, and I lived for movies. There was something mindless about it, the bright lights and flashing colors helped too. Though, if I had to give a real reason why I liked them so much, the truth is, I didn't have to talk. I didn't have to interact. I could be with other people, but, I'd never have to say anything.

Movies don't judge you, and that's something real people do. That's one reason why you can't trust them. Though, to be fair, I don't trust most people. Why would I? All they do is point fingers, thinking they have some sort of power over everyone else. It's completely stupid...those are the kinds of people I truly hate the most. I just don't get it, really, what's the point of being an ass all the time? What kind of rise can you get out of being a person who puts others down? What kind of deranged idiot wants to hurt others by sneaking into a house and beating the ever loving shit out of a person who doesn't deserve it?

If I knew that...well, fuck it, knowing won't change anything.

All I know is that when I was still little, I came home from school and mom was just laying there on the floor. The entire house was a mess, but back then, I didn't think anything of that. It was dark and cold, that's what bothered me. I was hungry, but I didn't want to eat. I was shivering, but, for some reason and I don't know why, it didn't occur to me to get a blanket. I sat there, waiting for her to wake up. Not even the television was on, and her breathing was so faint, hardly there at all. Sometimes I wonder what was running through my mind back then. I don't know what I was thinking...I don't understand why I just sat there. The lady next door found me the next day, I was curled up next to my mother...just waiting.

She never woke up.

…

The weekend had come more quickly than Shizuru had planned. Try though she might to brace Nao for the upcoming changes to their household and routine, she knew it wouldn't be easy. Nao didn't do well with change. She was always edgy and suspicious of the tiniest detail. Shizuru knew Nao's past had left plenty of emotional scars that would never likely go away entirely. She also knew that a person would never survive to see a happy adulthood without understanding such a difficult concept.

The current argument was an expected one, but Shizuru thought it was amusing either way. "I don't want to hear of it." Her tone was calm, but mildly interested. "You'd still have your door if you hadn't broken it off its hinges. As I've told you before, you can't have luxuries if you'll destroy them."

"Give me a break already!" Nao snarled at her. "It's been two years since then." _Besides, if there's going to be some idiot walking around, I want something better than a damn sheet_. She looked up from the piece of toast she was buttering. "Can't trust me with a door?" _Or anything else for that matter... _"Geez 'Zuru, lighten up."

Shizuru considered that, and then closed her eyes, as if searching deeply for her answer. "It isn't that I don't trust you." Finally she gazed at Nao's hopeful look earnestly. "It's that luxuries must be earned, and once you've lost something, it's often hard to get it back." With that, she put her teacup to her lips, savoring the taste of the fresh brew. "You lack a door, because it's the principle of the matter...you can't possibly have what you destroy." At that, she saw opportunity knocking, and pushed forward a paper booklet. "Though, with hard work and sacrifice, many of those lost things can be attained once again."

_This shit again? _Nao took a breath, looking at the black and white pamphlet in front of her, fearing to touch it at first. "Stop trying to get me to do impossible things." Nao said easily enough, pushing the booklet away quickly, as if it could burn her. "You know I can't." Then, trying to hide the fact she was disgusted by it, and at herself, she bit down hard on the toast. "We've been through this before." Her grousing was muffled by her food.

"Indeed, we have." Still, Shizuru didn't let that stop her. "You'll never learn if you don't try." Nao was a hands on learner, always had been. "You must learn to accept the trials you face...that includes reading." Shizuru was inwardly appalled when she discovered Nao couldn't actually decipher many things on a page. "You'd be amazed at what you can find out, if only you'd give things a chance." It was a manual that Nao didn't need, but even so, Shizuru was hoping to try something simple...something Nao understood. "Besides, this one should be fairly easy."

"I can already change oil." Nao growled then. _Even if I wanted to learn... _She couldn't help herself when she looked at the infuriating book again. _I can't... _Cursing it's very existence at the table was the easy thing to do. "I don't need a book to tell me what I already know."

"No, you're right." Shizuru said then, a simple shrug was all that she offered. "Some people aren't made for scholastic endeavors. Even still, there are some skills that are helpful to have, and reading is one of them." She pushed the book forward, urging Nao to at least partake of it. "At this time last year, you tossed food at me whenever I mentioned that you should learn to read." There was an honesty in her voice. "I was thinking, perhaps you were coming around."

_Damn it...she's blaming herself again, just like always._ "The teachers gave up on me." Nao told her gruffly. "They told me I was worthless...and maybe they're right." She couldn't look Shizuru in the eyes. _You can give up now, 'Zuru...it's okay to just give up on me. _"It's cool that you look out for me, and stuff like that...but you can stop worrying now."

"Prove them wrong." Shizuru told her. "If not for yourself, then do it for me...show me that you haven't given up."

"Yeah, and why do that?" Nao asked then, unsure if she would agree yet or not. "I'll need an incentive...money, or something like that would be kinda nice."

"One page Nao." Shizuru told her, completely honest. "If you can do that for me, you can have your door back."

"This blows." Nao muttered while scarfing down her food. "I'll look at it later." Her mind was on other far away things, she didn't care for the book, setting it aside.

"We'll work on it together." Shizuru beamed, happy she'd finally worn down Nao's defenses. "I promise, you'll have your door back in no time, with a little effort."

"Whatever." Nao told her. "I don't really care about reading...just my door." It was when she pulled another hunk of bread off of the loaf, that she started to feel a bit queasy. "That girl, you really want to bring her here?" At Shizuru's nod, Nao blanched. "What did the idiot do? With Haruka as her probation officer it must have been good."

"She isn't." Shizuru said quite calmly as she eyed Nao with a bit of concern. "Natsuki has a different officer than you." Without trying to release it, that concern slipped out. "Probably for the best, really. Haruka means well, she just doesn't have the foresight that Yukino does."

"Oh, nice...the bitch with the brown spiky hair?" Nao asked then as she gulped down her milk that was sitting on the table. "God, in thinking about it, she's almost worse."

"I would prefer if you held your tongue." Shizuru told her sternly. "Yukino is a good friend of mine, the same can be said for Haruka. Even if you don't like the two of them, you should at least respect them." She had to admit, she wasn't fond of large breakfasts, but a full stomach kept Nao in a fairly good mood. "Finish your eggs, and then go wash up. You'll want to look decent, considering that you may just make a new friend today."

"Yeah, or my worst enemy." Nao laughed then. "Hope she's fun to pick on." It was a distant thought, but it dripped into her mind. "Natsuki, huh?" Nao tested the name on her lips. "I knew a pain in the ass once, and her name was Natsuki...that was a long time ago."

"Really?" Shizuru asked, her interest caught in Nao's web, the redhead's past was something she rarely talked about. "What was this Natsuki like?"

"It doesn't matter." Nao shrugged. "That was back when mom was-" Nao cut herself off. _Shit._ A rumble from her throat indicated this was an uncomfortable topic, then again, anything involving her mother usually was. "It wasn't like we were friends." _I can't tell her...besides, it doesn't really matter, even if I did... _"We just took the same bus to school every day for a few years...I did it because I was forced."

It was a long suffering lilt that slipped from beyond her lips. "Is that so?" Shizuru leaned on the palm of her hand. "Vulgarities aside, you are not a bad person." With the other, she reached across the table, thumbing away some jam that had somehow made its way into Nao's cheek. "Girls your age don't always have to be strong." Her words were guiding and soft. "It would be nice if you could make a friend your own age, someone other than Chie, who's significantly older."

"Twenty isn't old." Nao said while backing away from the tender touch. "You're pushing it though."

"Careful who you offend, if that's the case." Shizuru said with a shrug. "Back when I was your age, we still used soap to wash away dirty language."

"You wouldn't dare!" Nao spluttered, recalling a few times a while back when Shizuru had indeed done that.

"Try me?" Shizuru told her with a raised eyebrow. "I want you to be nice to this girl when she arrives, and I mean it." Her voice however didn't change, despite her amusement. "Besides, you have your own goals reach for." It was an offhanded thought at best, but, it still perched at the tip of her tongue. "Harassing a housemate should be near the bottom of your priority list."

"Man, I don't know why I get tangled up in this crap." Nao pushed her emptied plate away, crossing her arms, leaning back in the chair. "What if she starts the fight?"

"Premeditation gets you nowhere." Shizuru told Nao, while clearing the table. "Assuming that she does, however, I know you're quite capable of taking care of yourself." She started running the water, ignoring the utterances from Nao's mouth, cutting her just a little slack. "Hopefully, there won't be any fighting. With any luck, you'll get along wonderfully."

"If she starts it, I'm kicking her ass." Nao was going to be on her guard, regardless of the consequences. "I don't give a damn what you do, I'm still going to beat her bloody." She always was an uneasy person, and now a new threat seemed to be chasing her in the shadows. _I've got a bad feeling, and I don't like it._

Shizuru partly enjoyed when Nao was confrontational, at least then she knew what the girl was thinking. "Don't play that game, it'll only lead to trouble." She turned to look at her, hoping to see defiance in those lime colored orbs, even for just a moment. She found it, of course. "Nao, listen, I know you aren't fond of having others around you. I'd imagine life will be pretty lonely if you can't find people to confide in. I'm not saying you have to be her best friend, but don't write her off just yet."

"Yeah, yeah." Nao groused. "I hear ya...but I still think this is stupid."

Shizuru didn't answer right away as the teen got up to leave the table. "There are many nonsensical things in this world." She said that to Nao's retreating form. "It will be an adjustment Nao, but, I hope it may be one for the better." She could see it didn't ease Nao's lingering worry though.

"What if it isn't?" It was a murmured question as Nao looked back from where she stood.

"Then I'll take care of it." Shizuru told her. "You won't have to worry."

"Whatever." Nao spat, storming off. _That's what mom said too..._

…

"It sounds to me like you've got your hands full already." It was a smooth laughter that came though the telephone. "Are you sure you wouldn't like me to come out for a visit?" It was a welcomed voice that called often, but even so, they never ran out of stories to tell.

"Mother, I'm fine, really." Even as she said that, perching the phone to her ear as she finished watering the flower boxes, she couldn't help but feel distracted. "It's true that Nao's not exactly a person inclined to be mild mannered, but it's also true that she's a far cry from the girl she used to be." If it was due to the conversation, or Nao's inability to sit in one place, Shizuru remained unsure. "I doubt she'll actually get into a fight unless strongly provoked."

"Shizuru, I don't doubt your devotion or your conviction." Suzume told her, an old hand at dealing with the troubles of youth. "Those things are as steady as can be." Even now, she took in children and looked after them. "However, as big as Fuka is, it's also just a tiny pool. Children have pasts, even at a young age. The kind of teens you look after tend to intermingle, they seek out their own sort." Her words were swimming in warnings and fears. "It isn't uncommon to have crossed paths at least once. I've encounter that type of ordeal before, and it can become stressful."

"I know what you're trying to tell me." Shizuru murmured quietly, watching Nao deal with the repairs on an old car used for teaching. Shizuru normally kept it in the shed. "If only you could see how she is on a daily basis like I do, you'd realize that the vastness of rural areas have truly started to do wonderful things for her."

"You should formally adopt her, if that's the case." It was an admonishment, and it made Shizuru sigh.

"Momma, not that again." She was bracing herself, she knew what to expect. "Nao has no interest in that."

"Shizuru, I'm telling you, it won't do any good for her to leave your side now." It was something the older woman firmly believed. "It doesn't do her any good to know she could be put with a different family, if someone decides to take her, Nao's world would be thrown into disarray...she would probably revert back into old ways."

"It won't come to that." Shizuru almost wished it would, but she already knew, Nao was a lost cause for anyone else. "Most families won't dare to get near her. Nao's pretty territorial, and she won't put up with others willingly...it would take a lot of effort, and most families would rather have a docile and happy child."

"That's true, I guess I just feel as if I have to keep an eye on her." Suzume laughed a little then. "I suppose I shouldn't worry so much, but you know, she feels almost like a grandchild to me."

"That's the difference between you and me. I understand that Nao will eventually come and go as she pleases, it's just her way." Sometimes though, Nao seemed unhappy still, as if she missed the city, and it truly bothered Shizuru to know that Nao continued to be troubled. "Speaking about keeping an eye on her, it seems she could do with a bit of help." As she stepped out of her house and around to the side of the tool shed she rolled her sleeves up. "I've got to let you go, we'll talk later."

"We will." Suzume told her, before her worry crept back up into her voice. "If you need anything, you'll call me right away."

"If it'll ease you." Shizuru agreed. "I'll call you if anything comes up." As she hung up the phone, sighing at the mess Nao made. Black footprints weren't exactly a worry, but when she found them leading around to where the hose was, Shizuru sighed. "You sure made a mess of yourself this time."

"Shut up." Nao grumbled, her shirt dripping with the thick substance. "I hate cars." Dousing herself with the running water made her shiver unpleasantly.

"Yet you rut around in them, even during your time off." She laughed, watching as Nao got tangled when she tried to pull off her soggy shirt. "What were you trying to do?" Shizuru pulled the shirt up over Nao's head, watching the frown that formed over the girl's face.

"There's some sort of buildup on the engine." Nao muttered when she went back in the shed, finding a dry, but dusty shirt of hers in the corner. "I was trying to fix it, but..." She averted her eyes, a soft sigh slipping from her lips. "Stupid thing."

Shizuru leaned in over the hood to take a look for herself. "Well, did you check the PCV valve?"

"Huh?" At that Nao leaned in to look as well. "No, I didn't think to look at it."

"You should, in fact, that's one of the first things you look at." Shizuru told her, pointing to the valve. "The PCV is responsible for rerouting the exhaust fumes that cars make, if it gets plugged up you'll tend to find that oil can leak out...not all the time, of course, but that's often the case." She stepped back, away from the junk heap and went over to the tool box mainly just to get one of her hairbands. "If it's just the valve, that's an easy fix." She told Nao, also putting on a pair of eye wear just for the sake of safety. "Oil sometimes also seeps from under the valve's cover gasket. If that's the case, the cover may need to be torqued down, or the gasket might need to be replaced entirely. That's the kind of thing that can get tricky, especially as a novice."

"How are you so good at this crap?" Nao asked, inwardly berating herself.

"I was about your age when I first started to follow my father around. Back when he was alive, he worked with manufacturing." Shizuru told Nao. "I was fairly interested in how cars were made, so that knowledge mixed well with being Midori's apprentice." The skill came with time, Shizuru knew that, but Nao was as hasty as ever. "You're catching onto things fairly quickly, I wouldn't feel badly about it. When you first started, you knew nothing about cars at all." Finally ready with the tools she would need she came back. "Alright, come here and I'll show you how it's done."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: We finally have a Natsuki centric chapter.

A big thank you is in order to Ms Kanzaki for continuing to beta this fiction.

I don't own Mai HiME/Mai Otome...

* * *

_**Rigged!  
Chapter 3  
(Natsuki POV)**_

Why do people dream?

I read in a book once that people dream every night. It's a way of processing information, or something like that. There are a lot of theories about why we dream, and so called experts can't agree on the things that matter most. I've looked up a lot of stuff about it, but it's all the same. I hate it, being tired welcomes times when you just can't protect yourself. The idea of just closing my eyes and being immersed into my own mind, a place I never want to be, it just freaks me out. I don't like thinking that regardless of what I do, eventually I'll have to fall asleep. There's a number of reasons for that, dreams are only part of it.

It isn't that big of a deal, I guess, since don't fall into deep sleeps...so in that way, I'm at least able to react quickly, if I have to.

It isn't that I don't want to have restful sleep, it's that I can't. You never know when there will be someone around the corner. Every second, of every single day, you've gotta be prepared for anything. If someone looks completely innocent, suspect otherwise. If someone looks weak, never underestimate them if they talk big...false clout is still clout. Never sit with your back to a door or window, that's rule number one. Always try to sleep pressed into a wall, but make sure you can escape quickly if you need to, that's rule two. Always stay protected, that's three. Four, own your space. Five, never show weakness to anyone. Six, strength in numbers. Seven, always suspect someone's lying, even just a little.

There's an entire slew of rules, and inside of institutions, I don't care what kind, you'll learn them all.

Eventually, you'll become an old hand at it. Sooner or later, it turns into second nature. You'll get to a point that everything seems to be a fine balance. Always show confidence, but never false bravado. Prepare for the worst, by being the best. Intimidation doesn't come from the size or strength of a person, though, it helps. A poker face is an ally, but, a well placed truth will cripple your opponent. There's a way of life here, a very standard one. If you keep your head down, generally you'll keep out of trouble. Look someone else in the face, and you'd best be ready for a fight. It's an easy way to live...I don't mind it, when I'm awake.

See, that's the entire problem...eventually, I'll have to dream.

…

Her emerald eyes were an intimidation, and it could make most people cower. Today, like all days, she had to make sure people remembered their place, and found a girl who seemed to stick out like a sore thumb.

_That girl is a new blood_. She could see it, Natsuki's senses were keen enough to notice that subtle fact. _Doesn't stand out, but, I wouldn't say she's particularly careful about hiding_. Her eyes formed a scowl, seeing the new girl that had arrived just last night bothered her. _First timer too, acts like it, anyway_. She noted with a discerning gaze that the girl was not exactly a threat. _Doesn't she know anything? _With a cocky grin she meandered over, slamming her hand down onto the lunch table, leaning in to inspect the girl closely. "Don't sit with your back to the door." She kept her voice low, expertly holding her tray of food with one hand. "These tables belong to HiME..."

"That's nice." The blond said with a smile. "You don't mind if I sit here then, do you?"

"Just don't piss me off." Thinking she was among one of her own, Natsuki shoved down her lunch tray. "I don't give a damn what you do." Her soup sloshed in the foam bowl but she paid hardly any mind to it. "You tagged to flag?" Her eyes kept a watchful eye over the room as she said those words, a bare whisper.

"Tagged?" The young girl said, quite a bit louder than Natsuki had wanted her to.

"Shh." Natsuki said. "Keep your voice down." Then, easily, so not to draw attention to herself she sat down next to young blond. They were just far enough away to see the door, where a single file line came in, also holding lunch trays. "Tagged...you know...a sign, or a tattoo...something to show who you belong with." _God, these little shits keep joining younger and younger...how old is this little brat_? She shoved some food into her mouth, looking across the way. "You've got to have something to identify with."

"I'm afraid I don't." The blond looked down and picked up her plastic fork. Then before she knew it, Natsuki had a hold of her wrist. "Is something wrong?"

"We can be friends, you know. I just need to know one little thing." Natsuki murmured as she pinned the blond to the white brick wall around the corner so that they wouldn't be seen. "Where are your tats?" The plastic utensil dropped to the floor. "What's your affiliation?" She leaned in, knowing her hot breath was the cause for the shivers down the girl's spine. "Are you a HiME? I haven't seen your face before." She smirked, she liked it when she had the upper hand. Still, it was all little more than a show of power and force. "Just let me know you're one of us, and I'll take care of you." Her voice was not uncaring, though it remained heated.

"I-I told you, I don't have any." The younger girl's eyes were filled with honesty. "I'm not affiliated with any gang, and I don't want to be, either." Brimming with tears at the edges of her eyes, they spoke of everything. The girl was terrified.

"I don't believe you." With a growl, Natsuki frowned. "Well, you aren't with Otome, you don't have the piercing." She lifted up the girl's shirt, trying to find a mark of some kind. "If you're with Aswad, you're safe with me...we have no ill blood with them right now."

"I'm not!" The girl yelled. "I promise I'm not!"

That worried Natsuki, but still, she felt like she had to push harder. "Don't toy with me, bitch." Leaning down to kiss the nape of the girl's neck, she could feel the power she had. "No need to freak out." Her lips were a fluttering sensation as she spoke, and she could taste salty sweat. "Just tell me who you belong with. I'm not going to hurt you...I just need to know."

"Natsuki Kuga, let go of Erstin!" Only one person could order Natsuki around like that.

_Naturally, when I don't need her, she comes barging in_. Emerald eyes rolled, annoyed. "Mai?" A long suffering sigh broke from her lips. "What the hell are you doing?" Natsuki asked, while the blond was still pinned. _Damn it, Mai stay outta this_.

Roughly Mai yanked Natsuki away, a fire burning in violet eyes. "I should ask you the same thing." Mai's hands sat atop her hips, as if she were scolding a child. "Erstin isn't lying...you know everyone from HiME." As if that wasn't enough, Mai had to go and smile at the young blond, almost in apology. "Besides, you can tell she's scared of you."

"She damn well better be." Natsuki aimed her gaze back at frightened girl. "Listen kid, don't screw with us." With a smirk, she lifted up her shirt, sporting her tattoo. "HiME, would wipe the floor with ya...then again, it's better to be one of us, than an outsider."

"What did I just say!" Mai yelled as she grabbed Natsuki's hand, all but dragging her away from the girl, back into their shared sleeping space. "Natsuki, this is a youth home." She told her friend with a shake of her head. "You can't go around bullying all the new kids that come in...some of them haven't done anything wrong." Then, she dropped her voice to an extremely quiet level. "Erstin probably didn't even know what you were talking about. She's from a fairly good home and in a safe neighborhood, well mostly anyway."

"Everyone has done something, Mai." _No one can be trusted in a place like this, hasn't she learned that yet? _"You can't be completely innocent, not if you end up in a place like this." Natsuki growled as she hoisted herself up on the bunk bed so that she could hang upside down. "Besides, even if she from a safe part of Fuka, that's even worse...you shouldn't drag a girl like her down to our level." Natsuki was bothered by something though. It pulled at her like a twisted string that snagged a puppet when misused. "You sound like you're good friends with her, are you?"

Mai shrugged. "She goes to the same school as my little brother." The offered information, while simple enough, didn't appease that scowl on Natsuki's face. "She's a nice girl who just got mixed with the wrong people...you don't have to pick fights with her."

"We're all here for some reason." With a grunt, Natsuki began doing crunches. "Even you've got a past."

"Yeah, but Natsuki, you know I had other reasons for joining up." Her fingers clutched onto her shirt, knowing well the ink would forever mark her. She'd had her tattoo done in a personal place, and Natsuki had been the one to ink her. "I have no reason to keep doing dangerous things, as long as I know Takumi will be okay." At that, she looked at the ground, a guilty feeling taking over. "I'll be able to go back home soon, and when I do...well, I don't want him to repeat my mistakes."

"Don't worry about it." Natsuki murmured, more focused on her workout. "All you did was deal a little bit of dope on the street...the HiME know you don't really belong with them." Natsuki's peace offering wasn't spoken, but it lingered in the air anyway. "If you disappeared, they really wouldn't give a damn." A dark chuckle slipped from her lips. "You're no good in a fight, you don't even carry a knife...that's the good thing about indifference, you can go back to living your normal life. It turns out that they just wouldn't care about it."

"You could be the same way." Mai told her, hope shimmering in her violet eyes. "You'd just have to stay out of the city for a while...then you could live a normal life, Natsuki. You could come stay with us...I know dad wouldn't mind." She rambled, hoping for an answer that she already knew she wouldn't get.

"Normal..." Natsuki's voice drenched itself in her annoyance. "That is not something that belongs in the same sentence as my name." A sadness that wasn't overt slipped in between each word. "I'm anything but normal."

"Oh, come on...don't be such a downer." Mai mumbled a bit shyly. "You could could give up being so reckless, you know."

"You don't get it." Emerald eyes were hard to melt. "I can fight...plus, I know too much. I've been in the HiME since I was a little kid...and even this entire youth home is filled with our kind." After a few more reps, she slipped her feet out from the top mattress, falling back onto the floor. "You have to see things my way, people like me know how it works." Then, she started on pushups. "They let us go, and we're free for a little while...then we break their rules. They lock us back up, and then eventually, we're released again." She wasn't nearly as bitter about it as she seemed. "We know what it means to be in an institution, and we're okay with that...we have to be, or else we'd have given up long ago."

"Natsuki..." Mai's breath was a soft apology.

"Don't." Natsuki said with a pause, her icy emeralds looking up at Mai. "I know what you wanna say." Natsuki kept her eyes closed every time she thought about it. "Just don't." _You aren't in my world...you never were...even if I... _Natsuki didn't want to think about it. "Mai, promise me that you'll be careful...that you won't change."

"Where will you go?" Mai asked, a fearful tone seeping into her voice.

"Who knows." _Idiot...always thinking stupid things._ "Don't worry about me." Natsuki told her dismissively. "If you have to worry about something, worry about Takumi." Her breath was growing more ragged as she paused between sets, stretching a little. _You're going to hate me...sorry_. "Mai, you have to start thinking about other people as garbage. That's the only way you can live this type of life. If you really want to be like me, maybe you should reconsider it." She jumped up, snatching the pole in her hands. "You're not cut out for that." It was time for pullups.

"I still want to know, Natsuki." Mai told her. "Where are you going?"

With a sigh, and only her workout to distract her, Natsuki bit her lower lip. "Wherever they put me." The fleeting thought about not seeing Mai anymore, sent a dagger into her gut. "When my probation officer gets me tomorrow, I'll have one last chance at a foster home." With a grunt, she struggled, trying to maintain vigor. Her third one came with difficulty. Pullups were not something she was particularly good at. "If I can sustain there until my birthday, they'll let me stay on probation." Another grunt, her forth, and then her fifth. "I'd be stuck on it until I'm twenty." Her sixth was met with ragged breath, and quaking arms.

"What if you go back to your bad habits?" Mai feared the answer.

"Jail." Seven and she fell, her lungs fighting for air. "If I can't-" She gasped, sweat dripped down her face. "I'll be in jail until I'm twenty." Natsuki couldn't look at her friend, and instead as she sat resting on the floor. She frowned at the endless white brick. "The reason I'm not in jail right now, was because the store owner I robbed at gunpoint took pity on me." Then with a soft smile, she pulled the long tendrils of hair away from her moist face. "Where I'm going, there's a place for me to work...they think this woman can rehabilitate me." She didn't get up, instead, she sprawled out on the concrete. "My probation officer said that this woman comes highly recommended, and for whatever reason, the judge agreed...I don't have a choice...it's either that, or jail time."

"You're not going to be coming back to Fuka, are you?" Mai's voice trembled, and her eyes began to pool. "Be honest, you're not going to come back."

"It's not a big deal..." _Forgive me._ "Don't make it into one." _I'm sorry._ "I'll be fine." Natsuki's words were effective law, and Mai took them as such.

They spoke no more about it. The air was tense between them, a friendship that had become something more, was slowly ending. Neither of them wanted it to, but if there was one thing Natsuki couldn't do, it was drag Mai with her. The city streets were like an underworld. A hell all of their own. There was no higher power to dissuade them from the violence, no guiding hand to pull them away from the temptations that lurked around every corner. Even the youth group was little more than training wheels for most. There were children from bad homes, teens from gangs...nothing more than a mess of faded ideals.

Natsuki couldn't let Mai walk down such a path...hell, Natsuki didn't want to live it either, that was just how her life had turned out. She was stumbling down a road that was nothing but pitfalls._You're better off with your family... _Agonizing, but true, Natsuki had to bear the weight of her choice. _Even your friends... _She had the street address of where she would be living, but no matter what she did, she couldn't find the strength to give it to Mai. _Not with me...I can't offer you anything, so, I won't give you the hope that I can._

The next morning, Natsuki was told pack her things. She did so quietly, while Mai was still asleep. She made not a sound, creeping around the room to gather everything she owned, which was not much. The only thing she left behind that could be a reminder of her presence was a crinkled note.

_~Forget about HiME...pretend we don't exist. You don't have to be like us, so just don't...it's okay not to be...and don't regret it either. Once you get out, don't look back, don't remember...and just go on with life. Take care of Takumi, and go back to school. Think of me as dead, and no more than a ghost. If you do that, you'll be better off...that's what I want to say to you. It's what I hope you'll do. Even so, you've got our mark...you're still a HiME of Fuka. You're still one of us, Mai...you're just...softer than most. That's okay too...I don't mind...but, we still have to part ways...if I see you again, Mai, I'll hate you for it...don't walk down my path...don't follow me, Mai...you're better than that.~_

…

The world was a taunting shout on that Saturday afternoon.

As a police car drove down familiar roads, Natsuki could only find herself zoning out._The boulevard...it's empty today, that's kinda odd_. Natsuki saw it and scowled. _It leads onto the expressway, go northbound and that takes you to the suburbs. _Each and every street post was like a second nature to her. _Take the expressway southward, it'll take you to the tram station. Go west, and you'll find the ferry and the narrow overpass that leads into the nice area of Fuka. _It was all little more than bitter memories. _Not like I belong there anyway_... So vivid, and yet, so far away now.

As they exited Fuka, the large city that it was, grassland seemed to stretch on and highrise buildings continued to shrink. "When we get there, you're to be on your best behavior." A mousy woman kept her voice stern, but easy going. "No fighting, no shooting off guns...nothing, Natsuki. Do you understand me?" She'd known Natsuki for several long years, ever since the young woman of midnight tresses began to be a problem child.

"This is pointless, you do realize that, right?" Natsuki sighed out, bored, and not looking forward to what her future would bring. With a smirk, she leaned back in the car seat. "You know I'm just going to run away again. Why not just let me go?"

"I can't do that." Yukino told her pointedly. "I know you don't like foster families." As she watched the road ahead of her, she also stole a few glances in Natsuki's direction. "If you were just a little more agreeable, we wouldn't be having this issue. However, for now, you're still a minor and unless you can prove you can survive on your own, you need a guardian."

"Whatever, I'm not some dumb kid anymore." Natsuki mumbled, quiet and uncaring. "Six months isn't that long. After that, I'll be eighteen...I can wait it out, I guess."

"You have to." Yukino told her sternly. "If you run away, or steal, or get caught with anymore drugs, you're going to be tried as an adult." Even though she knew better than to assume it would bother the young woman of midnight tresses, she cursed a little under her breath. "To be truthful, that last ruckus you got into should have landed you in prison, you're lucky the charges were dropped."

"I wouldn't say they were dropped." Natsuki growled then, sitting up to look out of the car window. "See for yourself, I'm in the middle of nowhere with you of all people."

Natsuki was fraying on Yukino's nerves, but they always clashed in such a way. "Some fresh air will do you good." Trying to remain pleasant was hard, with Natsuki bringing everything down. "You'll be working as a mechanic to earn your way, and I know you enjoy working with your hands." A noncommittal shrug was all she received, and Yukino maintained an even gaze. "This woman is a friend of mine, you can trust her."

"A novel concept if you're a complete lunatic." Natsuki grumbled. "You can't trust anyone, not even yourself. That's how life really works."

"I wouldn't announce that if I were you, it's a depressing thought." All she really wanted to do was hug the girl...time and time again, Yukino was told that this line of work wasn't meant for a person like her. Natsuki was the type of case that proved those claims right. "For you though, perhaps it can seem that way." Yukino agreed, attempting to hold a more withdrawn frame of mind. "If you can't trust yourself, how can you learn to have faith in others?".

"It isn't about faith...it's all about probability." Natsuki rolled over, her back to Yukino, playing on such a gamble. "You should have just left me in a cell. I know how to live that kind of life." Emerald eyes looked up into the sky. It was bright, a blue ocean above her that she would never understand. _Why is it so unreachable? _The clouds were puffy, soft like pillows_. There's always nothing more than emptiness_. An off white color, not exactly pure. It seemed as if the car was struggling to keep up with them, a race it would never win. _How can they fly so fast, without even moving at all?_

For not the first time, she wished she had her bike...then she could just go where she wanted. _I don't understand_...Her mind felt heavy, and hooded eyes fought to stay open. _How could it be so blue? _She didn't notice it when she finally began drifting into a void. _Why is it blue at all?_ A childlike question she'd always asked her mother. The tranquility of the car faded. Her day, tossed asunder into the night...

A black, horrible night.

Her world was cast into darkness. The rain that pelted down was bad enough, but the fact she couldn't stop the fall was worse. Before she knew it, the force overtook her, it felt like she slammed into a rock. Then she couldn't breath, and couldn't see in front of her. All she felt was the wet leather, her burning lungs, and the inky depths that surrounded her. _Mom!_ A sharp gasp shoved her away from her momentary snooze. Her heart grew heavy, and her blood ran cold. She had to pull the moisture away from her eyes, she'd been crying in her sleep. _Why do I do that?_ Suddenly she could breath again. _Every time I close my eyes... _By the time she gathered her bearings, she realized the car had stopped.

"End of the line." Yukino told her. "Try and settle in here." She made no indication of knowing that Natsuki had been dreaming. She was ignoring the fact, for Natsuki's sake.

A silent gratitude was Natsuki's only return of the gesture. "You're not going in to visit?" Natsuki asked then, grabbing her duffel bag. "Some friend."

"I would, if I thought it would benefit you." Yukino said smoothly. "However, you're plenty old enough now to make the right choice. I hope that you will."

"If I run?" Natsuki asked her then.

"You won't." Yukino told her.

"How can you be so sure?" Natsuki gave a cocky smirk. "I could take off running and there would be no way you could catch me." Natsuki's challenge was an ongoing one, the girl was a runner, plain and simple. "I can get away from you, remember? You're not as fast as Haruka."

With the key still in the ignition, Yukino paused. "You can, but you won't." Vexed, Yukino allowed herself the momentary indulgence, having known Natsuki for so long this seemed fitting. "You like distance...to be withdrawn from anyone who gets close. Right now, this place is like a refuge for you, even if that's only because no one knows you." With that, Yukino was confidant in her answer. "You won't run, as long as you have no need to."

Those words rang in Natsuki's mind as she stepped out of the car.

_No need? Yeah, right... _For the longest time after Yukino left, Natsuki stood at the end of the driveway. _Is it really so easy? _The house, a two story structure, sat in the middle of a wonderful open yard. _It isn't about that...the running...it's not about that at all_. The grass was yellowing, suffering from the sun's heat. She didn't know what to make of it. Sure, she'd seen houses like this sprinkled in the city. All over in the suburbs, too, but never had she gazed upon one that sat so lonely. There were other houses in the distance, but there was quite a bit of space in between. There was so much, that she felt lost in it...especially when a cawing bird called her attention to the nearby willow tree.

She was so small here, a bug waiting to be expunged, like the filth she was.

She had a lot of jumpsuits garbed in orange or blue. Black shirts, and white sweatpants with numbers stamped onto the sides...one pair of sneakers that were old and ratted out..and of course, her leathers. The only part of her identity that didn't get taken away from her, like everything else did. _Do I run? _She had no idea now. _Do I knock on the door? _This wasn't the city, and she left tracks in the dirt road. _Have I been locked up for that long? _The gravel crunched underfoot to scream that fact. _Geez, I must have been. _Even the breeze felt different, fresh and clean, as it licked the tendrils of her long hair.

_How does a person like me fit here? _Again, she felt tired, so very weak by the admonishment that came at her from even the most simple of things. _Why leave me in a place like this?_

Gripping her duffel just a little harder than she cared her admit, she could hear the leather glove crinkle from the force of her grip. Making her way up the pathway was something she did numbly. There was a big picture window, and it framed a melody. There was a woman, her fingers dancing across the piano keys in a way Natsuki found breathtaking. She just stood, gawking at the mane of fawn that seemed like silk. The confidence exuded from the woman in waves. _That plaid's unflattering_. Every key she pressed was a droplet to further the admission. _She could do with a better pair of jeans too_. An offhanded thought that acted like a tether so that she couldn't escape her worry. _Just what the hell am I watching?_

It was a territory Natsuki had never stepped into. _I don't fit in a place like this_. She wondered if she could, as she reached for the brass doorknocker. It felt like a weight she just couldn't lift, and again, she considered running. Her eyes clamped shut, and she took her hand off the knocker, only to collapse on the planks of wood that made up the front deck. Natsuki must have been louder than she thought, because she heard faint footsteps come closer to the door.

It creaked open.

The sight that greeted her was not unwelcome, yet, frozen, Natsuki refused to move_. Holy shit_. The woman was beautiful. _I gotta get outta here_. Her eyes, a horrible bloody color were filled with serenity. Natsuki could barely breath, a surprised huff of air was the only thing she offered. _Run... _Frightened, there was a tingle in her spine. _Run! _A twinge in her legs. _Fucking run!_ A stammering in her heart...and she found herself unable to move, not even when the woman knelt down next to her.

"Are you alright?" The woman's voice was like a lance for all of the day's venom.

It drained Natsuki, utterly so. "No." Her voice shook, a tired murmur. "You're in my way." It was all she could offer before her weariness took over. "Just, leave me alone for awhile." When all she received was a frown, she snarled. "What do you want?"

"It wouldn't be right to leave you out here." The woman held out her hand.

"I don't need your help." Natsuki just pushed it away. _What is she, an idiot? _"Go bother someone else."

"A greeting then." Her hand, while delicate, was not unscathed from worldly realities. Natsuki watched as it continued to hang in the air. "My family name is Fujino, but you can call me Shizuru."

_What's with the pleasantries? _Natsuki didn't want to begin to figure it out, so she didn't try. "Yeah, sure." She muttered averting her eyes, the woman was beginning to be a problem. "Damn it!" She could feel when she was being hoisted up onto her two wobbly legs. "What now?!"

The invasion of Natsuki's personal space went unnoticed. "If you're so tired, it'll do you very little good to sit out here." Shizuru said as she put Natsuki's arm around her shoulder. "Come inside and something warm to eat."

_She's nuts!_ Thrown off her guard, all Natsuki could do was growl. "Put. Me. Down." A fierce glare didn't work either.

"Don't fight me Natsuki, you'll find it to be an unpleasant experience." Shizuru's warning was ignored. Natsuki tried to get the upper hand, successfully using her body weight to pin the older woman with a sickening thud onto the wood. "Really now?" Shizuru winced, none too please. "Must I go through this every time?" It was a question more for herself than the person above her.

"I have no idea what the hell you're talking about." Natsuki growled as she inched closer. _Smells nice...but damn she's stupid_. "If you don't leave me alone, you'll be sorry." Intimidation didn't seem to be working.

"Do you really think you can take me on?" She asked, looking into defiant emerald eyes. Her answer was clearly before her. "Don't say I didn't warn you." With that, Shizuru forced her knees between herself and Natsuki so quickly, the tables tuned. Before Natsuki knew it, she was wedged into a corner, her back painfully pressing into the door frame that jutted out just a bit. Shizuru's hold on her was gentle, but firm. "I've bested grown men bigger than you, don't you dare start coppin' a lip with me."

"Oh, fuck you." Natsuki snapped, only to be forced to look into Shizuru's direction again after she said those words. _Aw, crap..._

Edging closer, her lips were inches away from Natsuki's ear. "That's your dream honey, not mine."

"GAH!" Natsuki turned away, breaking free from Shizuru's grip, and slamming right into the glass door.

She began to feel a dizzying sense vertigo fall over her. Those warm hands were too much. That simple stare was something palpable. It was so easily felt, but not like the other touches she knew of. She waited for the feeling of a threat to kick in, to want to fight...she needed a good one right about now, even if she'd get clobbered. Still, no hits came, and she wasn't being frisked either. All she knew was that the bed she was on wasn't a simple cot with a draft.

_Soft..._ The fleeting thought skittered away from her, just like that.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: In answer to the age question, Shizuru is roughly 25, Natsuki is 17 (going on 18 in 6 months), and Nao is about 14. Shizuru's not particularly old...you figure I'm 24, and I had my mouth washed out on three occasions growing up. All three times were well earned, but the fact is, it's still fairly common to do.

Remember to tip your hat to the beta reader of this story, Ms Kanzaki.

I do not own Mai HiME/Mai Otome.

* * *

_**Rigged!  
Chapter 4  
(Shizuru POV)**_

I don't mind idle time.

So long as there's something to be idle about, it's a wonderful thing. Sitting down, taking in all that you know, and pondering such things...that time is important. I would never begrudge a person who's taking things slow, especially a person who needs to just sit and think. It was something my mother made me do. She and I would sit down every day, it didn't matter if we had anything to say or not. She wanted me to just sit down, without worry, and be in that moment. It wasn't easy for me to do at first, I'll admit. I struggled with the concept...and often, I wondered why it was an important thing in the first place.

Sitting down made me prioritize things, or merely, let my feelings wash over me.

Now that I'm older, I understand what she meant. Anxieties won't solve themselves over night, and there's no use troubling yourself over them. When I was able to relax, to just sit and take in the world, I began to realize, answers are usually very simple. That's not to say that they're always easy to make peace with...only that they occasionally come when uninvited. It's a gift that anyone can harness, but, I fear that many people don't. This world is filled with the rush of every day life. Unfortunately, because of that, we lose our own precious moments to trivial things.

My mother has a lovely theory that she lives by. Her unwavering sense of calm is something I try to follow, even if it isn't so easily attained. I still find it difficult, and I'm not without second guesses on occasion. In that way, my mother still finds my antics, or so she calls them, amusing. You see, my mother always says that youthful energy is a blessing, but restless energy is a curse.

When I see the world around me, I understand exactly what she means. There's a stirring that seems to shimmer in the eyes of those who waver. They carry an uncertainty around with them. Every action, even the ones they're used to, seem only a routine, little more. They're programmed into their world, filled by computers, phones, and other impersonal electronics. Although such things are gifts, they're also like a poison that drenches itself over humanity like a thick cloud. Much to my dismay, such a world as ours is forgetting closeness. People are getting pulled into their own loneliness younger by the day. We allow it, because that's the way the world is, and grand though it may seem, it is not without fault.

It isn't that I mind, because some people do fine for themselves...they can live that sort of life, but, then there are others.

The restless, the weary...those who want merely a sanctuary, and yet they've no idea where to look. Where do they find their peace of mind? When can their warring hearts and fragile minds find solace? I fear, without the idle time, they don't learn how to relax. These types of people have no idea what truly surrounds them. They cannot see the world for what it is. The fact remains, that a person's mind can only take so much information, before it needs to be processed...that's where idle time becomes useful.

Also, that's why I live out here. I am my mother's daughter in many respects. I require my time, my moments, to drown in sanctity of my own heart...even if only for a few moments a day, I still need that time. For me, it is a lifeblood. I feel, that to truly understand one's own emotions, time like that is essential.

Maybe in some ways, like my mother, I'm just lonely.

I'm unsure one way or the other, but, I do know this. A child can not raise themselves. I've had many siblings come and go in my life, but, oddly enough I'm an only child. I grew up watching the world around me, watching how my mother became a balm for more injuries than I can't begin to count...and every soul had a name. Even now, children come and go from her home like a passing wind, that's what it means to be a foster parent. To breath new life into a soul, for even a short time, until one day they have their own place that they belong...their own home, in which to grow.

Still, there are those who don't find a place to belong...I've always felt troubled by that, because Nao is one of those people...how do I heal a wound that can't stop seeping? How can I became the balm that eases the pain? How do I mend a heart that can't seem to find rest? What more can I do? What burdens can I take away...better yet, what burdens should I leave there, untouched, unprotected, and simply festering? Every morning I sip my tea and ponder those questions.

I believe everyone must find their own way, and in some aspects, I'm still finding mine.

…

Nearly rendered into a state unconsciousness, Natsuki had tumbled backward as soon as she slammed into the door. She was lucky Shizuru had been there to catch her and was able to support her. "Nao, please stop gawking and give me a hand." Shizuru called, a bit miffed that all Nao could do was laugh at the sight. Between the two of them, she could easily get Natsuki safely up the stairs and put down onto the soft bed. Natsuki was dazed, but her blinking eyes told Shizuru that she was not unseeing.

Nao was sure that Natsuki couldn't fathom what was happening to her right now. "What did you _do_ to her?!" Nao cackled, looking at the woman of fawn tresses, as if she was almost proud of whatever had taken place. "All I hear is this huge crash, followed by you carrying that dead thing into the house." She waved her hand over Natsuki's before it was haphazardly slapped away with a growl.

_Her eyes are starting to focus._ She took comfort in that. _It would probably be best if I gave her some space. _"Let me put it this way, the two of you are literally birds of a feather." Shizuru said, not particularly bothered as she went to find the window cleaner. "Furthermore, she isn't dead." Emphasizing the point before going downstairs and into the kitchen, she took humor that Nao was still following her close behind. "Natsuki's just out of sorts. She'll gather her bearings soon enough."

"So, that's Natsuki." Nao's tone was not as distrusting as Shizuru thought she might hear. "Looks like an idiot to me."

_What are you hidin' this time?_ Shizuru was unsure, but Nao seemed different. "I didn't realize idiocy had a face." _You're being too nice about it...wonder why? _Shizuru didn't dare to question it, knowing she could set off an explosive reaction. "In fact Nao, if you insist on the term, you should remember all of humanity is capable of indecency." She grabbed the cleaner from the cupboard. "We are not exempt from that."

"Glass door?" Nao was just trying to be sure, but the grin she had on was purely devilish. "Face first?"

_Keep your secret then, it'll come out sooner or later. _It was a long suffering sigh that confirmed Nao's suspicions. "Yes, that's exactly what happened." Shizuru also grabbed a fresh rag while she was at it, her eyes meeting Nao's briefly. "It seems most of you see fit to greet the door before you even say one kind word to me, perhaps I should feel jealous."

"Did you say something to freak her out?" Nao asked with a shrug. "Her face was blood red, and it looked like someone beat her in the head with a hammer."

"Very true, though you ran into the door fairly hard yourself the first time." Shizuru paused then, the far away memory was something she couldn't quite grasp. "You didn't pass out though, did you?"

"No, but my face did hurt for days afterword. Hey, think she'll have one massive bruise?" There was a facial print clearly marked on the otherwise clear window of the door. "What if her entire face turns black and blue?"

_That would be a pity..._Shizuru frowned. "I have no idea." It bothered her to think of it. "I would hope not." Pulling her lower lip between her teeth, she sighed. "You're far too amused. Perhaps I should remedy that." She turned handing Nao the cleaning supplies. "Clean this up, and then you're free to do as you wish, but you better be at the table for supper."

"Gotcha." Nao said, grabbing the bottle of cleanser.

"I'm going to be checking on Natsuki of you need me." Shizuru told her as she stood at the foot of the stairs. At first, when her fingers touched the bannister, she felt as if she should just wait a little longer. _I've got to get a hold of myself_. Shizuru thought. _She's merely a child, and there's no reason to fear her_. It was true, the girl had a bad temper, but Shizuru found it interesting. Her feet carried her, even though her mind was drifting to all of the things that could have happened. _A girl like her doesn't become so aggressive overnight_. No, something happened, and it was very apparent the damage would be difficult to reverse, if she could at all.

Natsuki's bedroom was directly next to Shizuru's, and as she stopped at the door, she took a deep breath. "Natsuki?" She knocked, but was offered no answer. "Natsuki, I'm coming in." Shizuru called out a little louder before pushing the door open. Natsuki was awake, hanging upside down from the drapery rod. "What do you think you're doing?" She asked, a little confused..._Just why on this earth would a person to proceed to- oh my_. It was clear to her that Natsuki had to have been older than Nao. She just didn't realize how much. _Natsuki's goin' to hurt herself if she stays up there._

"Working out." Natsuki just rolled her eyes as she used her abs to pull herself up for another crunch. "Idiot."

"Well, do you think you could refrain from hanging upside down?" Shizuru asked as she sat on Natsuki's bed. _You are an odd one, aren't you?_ "I can't assume that it's particularly safe. You aren't a bat." She patted the comforter encouragingly. "I'd like to talk with you anyway, if you'd give me the chance."

"I'm listening." Natsuki told her, emerald eyes aloof and uncaring as she averted her gaze away from the woman. "Just talk from there."

_Avoiding me? _Shizuru noticed the air grow tense. _Okay, we'll play things your way_. Fixing herself into a slightly more comfortable position, she smiled. "I would simply like to know more about Natsuki, that's all." She watched at the girl faltered a little bit, and then she growled in annoyance. _Don't like me very much, now do you?_ "You see, I look at you, and I see a beautiful girl who simply seems as if she could use a friend."

"I don't." It was Natsuki's only utterance and she let it slip out in baited breath. "I never have." Without her knowing it, her shirt was beginning to slip from her sweat pants, and it fell over her face, furthering serve to get in her way. With an uttered curse under her breath, she let it drop to the floor completely. "I probably never will." It was easier in a sports bra anyway, and it felt nice not to have numbers marking her, a name all of its own.

Shizuru had to admit it. _Not an ounce of fat, she's nothing but lean muscle_. Natsuki looked to be a fortress. _Wait...that doesn't make any sense..._Her hair was as dark as midnight, her eyes were as cold as ice...and if that had not been enough, Natsuki's body also lay claim to her lifestyle. It was one filled with the brutality of her world. _If she is indeed that strong... _Hard abs rippled under her skin, toned to perfection, and her arms were the same way. _There's no way I could have kept her in place before. _Natsuki wasn't just a lean girl, she was completely solid. _Not unless... _Shizuru swallowed hard. _She let me?_

Shizuru knew she was strong, but not quite that strong. She cleared her throat. "Natsuki surely looks as if she doesn't need a single soul." Shizuru finally managed to find her voice, though it was a lot weaker than before, she felt the words catching in her throat. "Still, don't you think it would be nice if you could become comfortable here?"

"No need." Natsuki lifted herself up enough to pull her feet out, landing deftly onto the floor, her back and thus her tattoo were exposed. "This isn't going to last forever." She told Shizuru, a grim honesty. "I'm in too deep, sooner or later, I'll end up back where I belong." Her emerald eyes cut through the air as she turned back around, crossing her arms. "Now, are you done making this stupidly hard?" Her voice was a quiet husk, she was waiting, but Shizuru didn't move. "If you're going to give me a pat down, do it already."

"A pat down?!" Shizuru thought she may have heard wrong, but Natsuki's glaring eyes told her otherwise. "Why would...no, Natsuki, never." She shook her head, she hadn't any idea why Natsuki would suspect her of that. Once again, that strange sense lingered between them. Then reality hit her, and she sighed. "Natsuki...I wouldn't do that." Her brows furrowed, and her mind felt heavy. _She really can't trust anyone, can she? _This was different from Nao, far different indeed. "I wouldn't even think to do it."

"You're all the same." Natsuki's voice remained little more than an even deliverance of facts. "That's how it goes." She said, looking away from Shizuru, a deep blush starting to creep across her face. "People think they can't trust me, so every time I go in or out of a place, I get frisked." She muttered, anger at the tip of her voice...cold and bitter. "I've got a shank in my duffel, made out of a toothbrush, and a dime bag of marijuana in my ass pocket." Then her eyes found Shizuru's again. "That's all I've got that you might care about, but if you wanna check, I'm right here...I won't start a fight over it."

Shizuru bit her lip, hard. "Put your shirt back on." Clad in a sports bra, Natsuki had been at least partially covered, but even so, the conversation was taking a horrible road. "Don't ever mention anything like that." She closed her eyes, a painful spike was being jabbed into her heart at the mere thought, and it rattled her mind like chains. "Don't assume I would ever do it, either." Shizuru got up and left the room. Her mind was spinning, and no matter what she did, she couldn't justify it. _Why would I even think...ah, but that's the catch, isn't it? I wouldn't think that way, and many others probably would. I've got to remember that_. Still, she recalled the look in Natsuki's eyes...that moment had made her into someone more than mere conjecture. _Still, she must not be so bad either...she could have seriously hurt me._

_Untamed, but not unkind_. Shizuru couldn't help it, her mind ran away with the idea. _She's beautiful, but she won't be an easy one._

…

Shizuru couldn't sleep, try though she might.

Natsuki was aloof, yes...but the girl was more than just a little unsociable. She hadn't come down for dinner, and refused to eat at all. After several long hours of quietly waiting, Shizuru realized Natsuki wasn't going to leave the self imposed prison. For a short time, Shizuru considered barging in again, only to rule out the thought. _She can't trust me...she doesn't seem to have that capacity, either...I wonder if she could learn to do such a thing at this point?_ Even Nao, for as unfriendly as the redhead had been, would have already made a point to sneak food out of the cupboard upon her rival.

Shizuru took a peek out into the hall. _The tray is still there... _It seemed as if Natsuki wasn't even interested in that much.

The futile effort of attaining rest, being what it was, Shizuru had no choice but to find something to occupy her time. She tossed on a housecoat, being sure to button up a few of the snapped before starting her trek downstairs and into the kitchen. _What on earth shall I do? _She wasn't particularly thirsty, but the idea of something warm was at least a little appealing. Even if all she did was wrap her hands around the mug. _I loathe teabags_. Though, in truth, she was in no mood to boil water, either.

The microwave became her answer, the quick fix solution...she wished she had one for everything at that moment.

The warm drink in hand, Shizuru sat down at the kitchen table, looming over something very personal. She felt at odds, because the file was much thicker than many she'd seen before. It had come in the mail, the usual white packaging telling her that this was a very descriptive thing. It cradled all that Shizuru would ever need to know about the newest addition in her home. She had many questions, and Natsuki refused to answer any of them_. How old is this girl? Much other than fourteen, of that I'm sure_. That irked Shizuru. _What kind of past does she have? _Shizuru hadn't dared to voice that question. _Haruka's wrong...she's nothing like Nao._

_She can't be._ She'd expected a horrible temper and resistance to everything...however, the reaction Shizuru had been given was much the opposite. Natsuki wasn't going out of her way to terrorize the household, staying sequestered up in her room instead.

With hesitance, Shizuru opened up to the first page, and realized there was much more to Natsuki than met the eye. It only took one page to make her ill, one page to force Shizuru to slam that accursed file and damn whatever deity saw fit to do such a thing. She picked up her phone, a trembling in her fingers made it difficult to dial, and she decided to set it down. "Is there no mercy?" She asked herself in a quiet murmur. _I don't even want to know what else is in there_. Shizuru thought aggravated. _No wonder she was a nervous wreck._

She nibbled at her lower lip. _She's much older than Nao_. Furrowing her brows as she considered the ordeal she may have invited. _A seventeen year old...the nearly makes her a woman...one who's literally at the end of her rope. _She had been worried that Natsuki had been strung up on drugs, but this was far worse than she'd imagined. _Panic attacks, recurring dreams, and things she claims she can't remember_. Instead, she found a history she didn't need to see. _Her first runaway attempt at age eleven_. It was a horrific spiral. _Foster after foster, and six facilities later...that adds out to one a year. _She stopped reading, fearing to go onward. _Just what kind of life has she lived? _She didn't dare dive down into family history...she knew enough from what Haruka had hold her. _An accident...there's more to it than that, I can guarantee. Alright then, Natsuki...we'll figure this out._

Reading Natsuki's background was the easy part. Not feeling guilty was the part Shizuru struggled with. Thankfully, she was rudely interrupted, as the person of her fixation came tromping into the kitchen. "Here." Natsuki muttered, having seemingly made a choice. "I'm keeping my pot." Her toothbrush sat mutely on the table, the tip had been made into a sharp point. "You can have that." If her attire was any indication, a lot of Natsuki's clothes had been ripped, stained, and well-worn. Shizuru had yet to see a fitting piece.

Shizuru expected more from the girl, but when Natsuki turned to leave, Shizuru jumped up. "Wait." She called, a worry lacing her eyes. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Not really." Natsuki wouldn't turn around, she just stood there, her shoulders squared off into a tense stance. "Is that all?"

"Sit down." Shizuru returned, it wasn't an offering, nor a question. "We'll need to share words eventually, I'd rather not have them linger any longer." At first, she thought she might have angered the girl, but then, Natsuki glanced over her shoulder, a curiosity lingering in them as a kitten would eye a dripping faucet...thinking to bat at it, even if it didn't particularity like water. Then, Natsuki faced forward, and stood a moment longer in silence. "Surely you can agree that this can not go on for your entire stay, even if it will only be six months."

"Okay, I get it now." For several long moments, Natsuki didn't move. "You're one of those types." Natsuki sighed, she turned to face the woman who wanted her attention, yet refused to sit in the chair.

"Really?" Shizuru asked then. "Just what type of person do you think I am?"

Natsuki smirked for only a moment and bitterness laced it. "The type who thinks she can save the world." She leaned on the nearby wall, her disinterested emerald eyes meeting Shizuru's intense stare. "If you wanna talk, fine, but I'm standing right here. We play by my rules, or I'll go back to my room."

_Playing ball?_ Shizuru took a breath. "Alright." She pushed the file forward. "You can have that Natsuki...I won't read your secrets. You're old enough to keep them to yourself, if you wish it." _Wild eyes...and such a frown... _Shizuru felt captivated by it. "You're bothered, and incapable of trusting of many things. Situations, people, the entire world around you seems as if it's an enemy." Shizuru told her. "I want to know, why is that?"

"Turning your back to a door, the most dangerous idea ever." Natsuki muttered looking away from Shizuru's gaze. "Facing off an enemy like that...looking into their eyes like that...it's a challenge." She crossed her arms, her gaze never staying in one place for longer than it had to be. "You don't know anything, do you? You're another one who tries to walk in a place you don't belong, stupid people like that get hurt...I hate them."

"Perhaps Natsuki should enlighten me then." Shizuru said softly, urging the young woman to say anything at all, a quiet sigh falling from her lips. "I have a feeling you weren't expecting a place like this." Then with a tiny smile she leaned forward, just a little to reach for a couple almonds that sat in a dish. "I wasn't quite expecting you, either." She popped a few in her mouth elegantly. _Strike one...come on Natsuki, you've got more fight in you than that._

"Well, they shoved me onto your door step." Natsuki's wouldn't budge an inch. "So, you must have known something."

"Speaking it plainly, there are a few officers who lack the ability to see minor details. Clairvoyance is not her strongest suit, I'm afraid." Shizuru noticed Natsuki's shrug. "I wasn't very well informed about you, I must admit." It was a knowing one. Shizuru took it to be a good sign. "I expected a visitor, however, I assumed she would be a teenager. A young one who needed a guiding hand...I'd never thought I'd get a young woman such as yourself."

"Yeah, well Haruka's not the brightest light-bulb in the package." Natsuki groused, frowning a bit. "They're a tag team you know...if you have one over your shoulder, you have them both." It didn't matter to her, this topic was a fairly safe one. "I'm not a little kid, so you don't have to worry about me." She could set parameters, and see into this odd woman before her.

"Well now, I wouldn't say that." With another peaceful sip of tea, gathering her wits about her seemed like a good plan. _I wonder how far she'll let me push? _It was time to test boundaries. "It may seem that way, yes. I've known them for years, there are times even Haruka needs a guiding hand. Alternatively, Yukino would often be lost without Haruka." Shizuru assured Natsuki before diving deep down into the heart of the matter. "Everyone needs a little help sometimes, and I'm sure that would also include a person such as yourself, no?"

"I just need a place to crash." Natsuki's face didn't change, and her voice didn't waver. "Six months, and I'll be out of your hair...I'll be an adult by law then, and I won't have to stay."

"Back onto the streets?" Shizuru dared to say it, and Natsuki grew visibly angry. _Strike two...come on Natsuki, if you want to play hard ball, you'll have to do better than that._

For a moment, it was so quite, the silence was deafening. "Don't make me beat the shit out of you." Natsuki's voice became a low, dangerous murmur.

_Strike three, Natsuki...you're out of chances...I'm up to bat. _At that, Shizuru decided it was time to get into another tango. "Do you really think you can?" Shizuru stood from her chair. _Alright then, let's see what you're made of, Natsuki_. Going around the table with deliberate steps, she kept confidence at the forefront of everything. "I'd love to see you try, child." A natural poise and cool gaze further served to aide her in times like this. "You'll only end up the same as before, I guarantee it." _You're brash, but are you truly so brutal?_

"I said not to force me into it!" Natsuki yelled. "That means keep the hell out of my space, and stay out of my life." She pushed off the wall, her fists tightening ready to strike if she had to. "What part about that don't you understand?" They were close now, standing toe to toe in the kitchen.

_You can't even hit the ball now, can you? Alright, that'll be quite enough of this little game, thank you. _Shizuru had her answer. "I suppose I'm not a very quick learner." Her voice stayed even as she reached out to grab the edgy girl. _My, you are a skittish one, aren't you? _Shizuru could sense it. "I would suggest we avoid feeding animosity. It'll do you no good, not as you are now." She could even feel the raw strength in Natsuki's arms become weakened by such a simple touch.

"As a rule, I avoid beating the unholy crap out of women." Natsuki's strength returned as she pulled out of Shizuru's easy to break grip. In return, she snatched Shizuru's housecoat, pulling the woman lower, so they were eye to eye. "If you keep pissing me off, I won't hold back."

"Trying to intimidate me, even now?" Shizuru shook her head. "Natsuki's unable to do such a thing."

"Shut up." Natsuki hissed.

_She's too nice for that_. Shizuru continued as she watched Natsuki waver. "You might want to let me go...if Nao comes downstairs, she'll get the wrong idea."

"Who?" At first, Natsuki thought she might be hearing things.

"Nao." Shizuru repeated. "The other girl who lives here. She can be quite territorial and aggressive if she wants to be. If she were to come down from her room and see this, she would probably be very upset."

"Nao?" Natsuki scowled as she let go of Shizuru. "There's a girl who lives here...and her name is Nao?" She turned and sped towards the stairs, taking two of them at a time as she rushed up the incline and down the hall, stopping at the bedroom covered with a sheet. "Hey, Nao?" Natsuki didn't spare any time to push back the cloth that blocked her way. "You in here?" Sure enough, there was a sleeping ball of a human, curled up in the corner of the bed.

Her red hair was the first giveaway. "Go away, mutt face." Nao told her sleepily. "I'm tired."

"It is you..." A deep chuckle that slipped from her lips.

"It is, so fuck off." Nao cracked one eye open. "You live here, so I'll light a fire under your ass tomorrow."

"Only if you want to get decked in the face." Natsuki muttered as she turned around and left the room, leaning heavily on the wall. "That little shit." She collapsed to the floor, chuckling to herself, she couldn't hide the smirk, even if she wanted to.

"Do you know her?" Shizuru asked when she finally made it down the hallway. _I knew Nao was hiding something._

"She isn't dead yet." Natsuki shook her head pushing herself up off of the floor, still snickering. "That little pain in the ass...Nao went missing for two years. I wouldn't be exaggerating to say we all thought the worst." Her eyes looked up to Shizuru and shook her head, the irony was horrible, and yet, she couldn't help but laugh. "She's been with you, huh?"

"Two years you say." Shizuru licked her lips. _There's more to them than meets the eye. _"Yes, Nao came into my care a little over two years ago."

At that, Natsuki shook her head, she was tired in more ways than one. "You must get all the prizes." Still, it was the lightest, most relaxed tone Shizuru had heard from her yet. "Thanks for that." Then, emerald eyes became hard again. "For keeping an eye on her, I mean...doesn't mean I trust you though. Don't get any ideas." Without a further explanation, or even eye contact, she just shrugged, headed to her room and closed the door.

_Forever a mystery, even now_. Shizuru thought, even more bewildered than before, as she stood in the hallway. Looking back and forth between both of the doors, she couldn't help wondering what surprises might befall her next. _I suppose it can't be helped. _With that, she clicked off the light that illuminated the hallway, and went into her own room, retiring for the night. _We can figure this out tomorrow._


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Back with another chapter, finally...sorry I took so long with it, my brain just sort of got lost some place in the middle of JtFN and a few other projects that I was working on (to no avail just yet...but soon they will grace the light of day...) and only just dug myself out of a slew of chapters that are in the works for various things.

Kudos for Ms Kanzaki for dealing my horrific writing and grammar mishaps**...**of which, as we've all seen, get really colorful sometimes.

I don't own Mai HiME/Mai Otome.

* * *

_**Rigged!  
Chapter 5  
(Nao's POV)**_

I was born in downtown Fuka.

It's kinda cool, actually. The city lights and the colors of the neon signs force shadows to linger in places that are just totally creepy. I don't mind that, in fact, when I was little, if I looked out my window, there was a pub that had a multicolored sign. I thought it was magic...I had no idea what was going on around me. I was just in awe, and, like most kids, I thought life would stay the same forever, and that nothing would ever change. I didn't really fear the bar fights on the streets, or the loud noises. I just got used to it, I guess...I always thought that we were safe. That no one could ever get us.

Shit, I was wrong.

There's no such thing as a safe haven. All you need is a good knife, some money, and a little know-how, then you're set for life. That's what I was always taught...that, and to never betray your friends. I don't really care about friends, but, I won't lie...I'm no stranger to being watched over. People always seem to have my back, even when I don't want them to. When I was a little kid, I always had older ones by my side. I don't really know why, it isn't like we got along...hell, most of them hated me.

The one who seemed to stay with me the most was Natsuki.

All she did was take me to school, and keep me safe on the public transports...she made sure I wouldn't get lost...and other times, when mom wasn't home, she would say and make sure I had dinner...we always ate candy or grabbed fast food on the way home...she couldn't cook, but I liked greasy food, so I didn't complain...I think, our parents were friends. I remember Natsuki's mom, she was always there, you know, it's kinda funny. Our moms would laugh at the table...we would fight in the grass. It wasn't that Natsuki wanted to spend time with me, more like she was forced into it.

That makes sense, I guess. We were both teased, but for different reasons. She was a mutt...and I was...well, I'm from one of those bad families.

The kind that everyone sees right before they leave to go home. The ones that adults talk about when they think little ears aren't listening...I was that child sitting there, with no one else around. I had to wait there for someone to come get me...I couldn't ride the bus alone, I would have gotten lost. As a kid, I heard whispers about my dad too, but, I don't remember him. I just remember people saying that he was a loser...deadbeat...failure...I heard that a lot, when it came to him.

Poor bastard...maybe mom chased him out, who knows.

He's like this faded thing in the back of my mind...if I try hard enough, I guess I can still hear his voice. It's not a big deal, you can't miss what you don't know about. I got a lot of attention that I didn't want...in that way, I think I'd hate him. The teachers looked at me with pity, and my classmates, they just watched me from afar...I didn't care, because back then, mom was my world...when she got hurt, my life changed so much, it felt like it wasn't mine anymore. Not having her around shifted that place, and it was like...I dunno...I guess I just couldn't figure out which way was up.

I was okay being alone. It was better than being frowned at, or having people try to hug me. It was weird, most people didn't understand me at all...Natsuki did.

Natsuki and I, we didn't really get along all that well...but I think it was fine that way. She didn't want pity either, even when I was little, I could see that. We weren't very nice, but, I think she was tired of having everyone else trying to help. Patting her head, pretending they care...it wasn't that we spent a lot of time together bonding, but, I understood her.

Even when she told me that I wasn't allowed to have the red mark...

…

It was early, and Nao was used to squinting to find her way through the house. It made her look particularly grumpy, but really, she was just sleepy. Waking up just as the sun hit the sky was amazing, but also boring. There was an uneventful solitude that rang out from the golden fire that licked at clouds. She made her way down to the kitchen, clad in a baggy shirt and jeans she'd torn in several different places from the dirt bike. Surprised to see only Shizuru sitting at the table, she rolled her eyes.

"Good morning." The woman's cheerful voice reached Nao's ears, and along with it, a strange sense of normality fell over her.

Eased by that much, Nao only nodded. "Yeah." She could tell though, Shizuru hadn't slept well. "Where's that stupid mutt?" Nao mumbled, looking around, but seeing no sign of her old friend.

"Likely, Natsuki's tuckered out after coming here." Shizuru explained with a gentle sigh. "I would assume she'll take the day to rest." As usual she spoke in a dull, come-what-may attitude as she sipped on something warm. Nao knew from the lack of decorum on the table, she was on her own for breakfast, opting for cereal. Shizuru merely watched her with a mild sense of fascination. "Did you sleep well?"

"The sun maced me in the face." Annoyance danced in her sleepy eyes. _I need to talk to that idiot upstairs today_. The truth bothered her, knowing that Shizuru was eerily calm. "You're not going to make us go to the shop today, are you?"

"Would you like to go to the shop?" If Shizuru was the slightest bit amused, she surely didn't show it, instead she worked on Sudoku.

"I'd rather scratch my ass with the spoon." Nao growled, her mouth full of the crunchy, sugar filled substance that Shizuru couldn't see as a meal...she refused to assume it was healthful either. Shizuru considered it a snack, and displeasure was something the woman of fawn tresses hid well, even when Nao smirked at the jibe. _Pissy, huh?_ Nao didn't dare say it out loud. "What's eating you?" She groused, not overly interested, though she was mildly concerned she'd get into trouble.

Recognition sparked first, and Shizuru let the frown slip away from her face. She seemed to consider that, before pointing to the chair. "You know it's rude to eat breakfast whilst standing at the counter." Her quiet yet stern order was met with reluctance, but eventually Nao did take a seat. "Care to have a little chat, Nao?" Shizuru asked then, almost as if she was unsure that she wanted to broach the topic on her mind.

"About?" Nao already knew, but she tried to keep it at arm's length. _Don't even think about it...I ain't saying shit._

Slowly, and with a careful precision, her words washed over the room. "I have a great many things we could discuss." She pushed the morning paper aside, taking one final sip of her tea. "I'm sure it would be nothing of your interest." Putting the empty cup on top of the folded distraction, she finally had everything out of her way. "Your studies would be suitable, or perhaps we could discuss that messy room of yours." It was clear in her voice, she had other things in mind. "However, if I were to pick a topic Nao, I hope you would trust me at least that much. I'd like to know about Natsuki."

Nao couldn't take the stare that was seeing deeply into her, averting her gaze to the cereal bowl instead. "Mutt face?" Nao grumbled then, cramming a large spoonful of multicolored oats into her mouth. _Why the hell do you shove your nose where it doesn't belong? _"I got nothing to say...talk to her yourself."

"You know her." Shizuru told Nao pointedly, still keeping her tone cautious, least she upset the girl. "Were you at least friends?"

"I already told you." Nao's voice got low and dismissive. "I was forced to take the bus with her." Looking down at the food that seemed to float in her milk, she scowled a little, unable to hold it back. _If I ever went back to Fuka...I know she'd look after me...just like everyone else_. Nao finally just shoved more food in her mouth to hide her turmoil. "Nothing else to tell."

"Nao, what are you thikin' about?" Shizuru's voice was mild, a knowing truth, and she took the chance to pry just a little. "You should know well enough, that you can't hide from me so easily." She reached her hand across the table. Connection...Nao thrived on it. It was a way to test her. If she recoiled without a second thought, it was time to let such a matter drop...if she let the touch linger, she was on the fence...thinking about something, and sometimes, gifting a voice to it. "I won't betray you." Shizuru's movements were slow.

"Don't touch me." Today, Nao was on the defensive, jerking away from the touch before Shizuru could even offer any sort of warmth to Nao's cold hands. "Can I eat now?"

Shizuru frowned, but complied with the agitated teen, still unsure what to make of it. "Yes, you may eat without my presence." Shizuru stood from the table, clearing her dishes, of which had only been a cup and plate that had crumbs of bread on it. "You'll be doing the dishes this morning, Nao. Make sure they're clean before you go wandering off." When all she received was a scowl, one that seemed to try to scare her off, Shizuru just shook her head, watching Nao's tension build from afar.

She observed all day, even when Natsuki made herself aloof after waking.

…

Nao had tried to keep her distance, and had been hiding in the shed most of the day. _Can't I even get some free time? _She wondered as she heard the footsteps that lingered just outside, she could see a shadow, the person standing there, as if unsure of themselves. "Who the hell?" Nao called out, mostly bored.

She wasn't surprised in the least when Shizuru came in, still frowning as she had been earlier that morning. "You know, that violates your probation."

"I really don't give a damn." Nao lit up the cigarette in her mouth. "At least the stupid mutt is good for something."

There were times Shizuru hated to be harsh on Nao, though normally she would have raised her voice at such a sight. Instead, she sighed and pulled the cigarette out of Nao's mouth. She put the offending item out with a disgusted look on her face. "Care to tell me where you got that?" She even when so far as to toss it into the trash as if it could bite her.

"Told ya." Nao growled with a sigh, crossing her arms. "Mutt face."

"Alright." Shizuru was exasperated, sitting down on the hard ground. "For starters, this is no place to be smoking. Secondly, if Haruka found out about that, you'd be in very big trouble." Lime green eyes seemed withdrawn and uncaring, but Shizuru knew...she could see beyond it...Nao wasn't prone to smoking...at least, not tobacco. "Where is Natsuki?"

"Dunno, but the dumb ass left her smokes out." Nao regretted it. Not only because of the look that Shizuru gave her, one filled with disapproval. _Stop trying to help all the time_... She held out the pack, and Shizuru took those too. "If you wanna be useful, don't ask." _Don't look at me like that! _It was because Shizuru knew the real reason. "Jesus, what's up with you today?"

"I won't ask about painful things." Shizuru finally told the teen. "I won't pry, Nao." The cardboard box was smooth to the touch, and there was still a bit of the plastic wrapper that clung to it. Shizuru thought it to be a putrid smell, but Nao was different. "Loathe that I am to say this, I'm going to look the other way about these, but just this once." She sighed, her chest feeling heavy. "I know they remind you of your mother. I understand your past has been painful, I won't go digging into it." She said, putting aside the name brand item that kept defeated lime green eyes fixated. "Still, even if I do little else, I can be here...but, in order for that to happen, I need you to trust me a little bit more."

"A mark." Nao sighed, looking away from Shizuru in shame. _I can't say it...but... _She bit her lower lip and then stood up, her fists clenched as she looked at the ground. "People who know me...they have a mark." She explained with annoyed sigh. _Don't ask..and I won't tell. _Nao turned then to grab Natsuki's cigarettes from of the floor. "And these...I hate them." She began to walk off again, only to have Shizuru stop her, grabbing her by the shoulder. _Why do you get like this? _Nao scowled and looked up. "What did I do this time?"

"Nothing." Shizuru told her. "Natsuki's been in her room all day, she keeps just looking out the window, I don't pretend to know why." She pointed over to the window that Natsuki was sitting in. It was open, and the girl was perched in the sill, barefoot, donning a plain cotton shirt and a pair of orange pants. "She's a mystery to me, even you weren't so withdrawn."

"You and I fought every damn day." Nao told her, incredulous. _Natsuki's been sitting there since I bummed her smokes_. Nao could see it though, even if she didn't want to. _What's there to look at? _Natsuki was looking out, seeing something off in the distance. _Same shit, different day, huh? _The only thing to look at was the clear blue sky and the dirt road. "Hell, we still fight at least a few times a week."

"At least we did that much." Shizuru sighed, crossing her arms, unsure of what to do. "When you lash out, I can clearly understand you." She bit her lower lip in worry that fluttered across her face briefly. "I can't seem to get such a chance with Natsuki. She's very reserved when she argues with me."

_I owe you...so... _Nao scratched her head, and stretched a bit. "She's like that." Nao muttered then, a bit annoyed by saying so much. At Shizuru's questioning gaze, Nao frowned. "Natsuki's smart, so, she gets lost in her own head." She looked down at the cardboard box, and then up to the window on the second floor. The older girl still seemed to gaze endlessly. "Expect that kind of thing."

"Are you jealous of her?" Shizuru asked her.

_Who cares..? _"Not really..." Nao growled, though it was a clearly defined in her words. "I never had the chance to be." She tossed the cigarettes behind her, and they landed on the floor, scattering and making a mess. "Besides, Natsuki would surprise you...I don't envy her." Nao needed the space and walked away. She was grateful Shizuru didn't try and stop her, even as she walked through the yard and back into the house. She meandered her way up the stairs, and then stopped at Natsuki's door. _Damn it, I don't know why I should care. _Still, she grabbed the door knob and flung it open. "Hey asshole, stop being pissy."

"You're as vile as ever." Natsuki didn't look up from the book in her lap, nor the paper she was drawing on. "What do you want?"

"Nothing really, same old crap, different day. That's how it works right?" Her eyes were merciless, though she noticed her companion didn't seem to mind. _I owe it to Shizuru_... Nao leaned on the door frame with a sense of false bravado. "Things are different here." Still, she had to try.

"I'm well aware." It didn't pull Natsuki's attention. "Something else you want to say to me?" Still, her words were cold, and unforgiving.

"I don't care who you think you are." Nao groused slowly, taking a deep breath as she realized she was inviting trouble. _Natsuki's livid, but she's being calm about it... _She tried to think of why Natsuki hadn't beaten the daylights of out her yet, coming up short. _Fuck this... _"I'm only going to warn you once, don't go around upsetting 'Zuru!"

"Still a little twerp." Natsuki looked up from her book. "You know better than to screw with me when I'm ticked off." She looked back down, grabbing the calculator nearby, and started punching numbers into it. "Your pet has a nickname, you get three meals a day, and you still get away with doing whatever you want. Sounds like you've got it made here." She looked back to Nao. "So is that why you didn't call?" Icy, her tone was cool and uncaring.

"Didn't know I had to answer to a mutt like you." Nao growled, though in truth, she was sure the tiny hairs on the back of her neck were beginning to stand on end. "Even if I wanted to, you know the rules. No contacting anyone from prior affiliations...not without approval...and we both know how Haruka is. The bitch confiscated all of my letters."

"Yeah, well now I've gotta fix it." Natsuki nodded, her words cutting through the air like a dull blade struggled through bone. "I break that stupid one all the time. Yukino knows better than to nail me for it." She held up a letter. "Where's the nearest post office?"

"A few miles up the road." Nao shrugged. "I wouldn't walk it though. Nothing much to see." Her eyes hit the floor. _You shouldn't be here_. As much as she wanted to say the words, they just wouldn't come out. "It's not like the city...there's nothing to do around here, cars, big open space...that's it."

Then Natsuki set down her pencil, and tossed her stuff onto her bed. She didn't hold back, grabbing Nao by the shirt. "I really should knock the hell out of you." She sighed, tired and without her usual energy. "Problem is, I don't get any satisfaction from things like that." Her tone wasn't soft, but the ice was beginning to melt, a low boil. "Mai...and everyone..." Emerald eyes found those of lime. "We thought you were dead, Nao. You disappeared, and there was no trace left."

"I'm not." Nao smirked then, a dark laugh slipping from her lips. "At least I don't think I am. That would be pretty twisted...you'd be mental if you were talking to a ghost."

"That isn't funny, jackass." Little more than a heated whisper, Natsuki leaned down, her eyes level with Nao's. "People were worried...and then, they just sort of came to terms with it."

She put a hand over Natsuki's white knuckled grip, squeezing softly on the quaking fist. "I know." Nao said quietly. _Damn it...I know that, so just... _There was only so many things she could actually say, and none of them were fitting. "Still, there were other things you guys had to do. You wouldn't let me get involved, so that's your fault not mine."

"You make things so much more complicated than they actually are." Natsuki cursed harshly, shaking her head. "Yeah, a few people have obligations, but I don't see how in the hell it gives you the right to fall off the face of the planet." She was angry, and exhausted. "If it was worth my time, I would beat your sorry little ass...unfortunately, that doesn't do us any good, does it?"

When a third voice muttered under her breath, a tray of lemonade in her hands, both sets of green eyes cut to the door. "What on earth is all this about?" Shizuru asked two girls. Natsuki still had a fist full of Nao's shirt...but yet, the two of them didn't seem to be any worse for wear. "Do I have to make a rule about keeping your hands to yourselves?"

"Buzz off." Natsuki told Shizuru then, letting go of Nao. "This doesn't concern you."

Nao could see a renewed edginess in Natsuki's eyes... _oh shit, haven't seen that glare before. _She didn't know why, but she had a bad feeling about that gleam. "Yeah...'Zuru." Nao said awkwardly, putting a hand out in front of the woman who looked after her. "Don't worry about it, okay?" Shizuru also seemed to reflect an image that was unlike her usual sense of calm. _What the hell is that about?_ An abstract interest seemed to sparkle in crimson eyes. The room was thick with an uncomfortable foreboding. _It's like they're talking with their eyes!_

Shizuru weighed her words with care. Nao could see it, especially when Shizuru made the decision to relent for now. "The two of you have some secrets." She said as she put the tray on Natsuki's nightstand. "Honestly, I doubt that you can keep them hidden forever." Shizuru crossed her arms, and lifted up the plastic bag that held Natsuki's smokes. Some were broken, others covered in grime. "You may be entitled to quite a few things left unsaid...but, I can't let you keep all of them locked away." She looked to Natsuki. "What's this about?" She asked about the bag in question.

"Nothing." Natsuki muttered as she went back over to her window, where she felt a little safer. "Don't worry about it." She let the calculator become her focus. She had to concentrate on it, on everything that wasn't going to give her away. Still, she took her chances, looking up carefully. "You stay out of my life, I'll stay out of yours."

"I won't ask again, Natsuki." Shizuru told her. "If I have to, I'll open that folder back up."

The demand was a harsh one. It forced Natsuki's eyes to become like hardened steel, and her fists clenched tightly. She glanced at Nao, who nodded the slightest bit. It was an indication that Shizuru might be able to be trusted. With that, Natsuki returned to her calculator, and her paper. "Breaking and entering." She scribbled down numbers, even if only to keep herself busy.

"That warrants cigarettes?" Shizuru asked with her eyebrow raised. "You didn't steal them, did you?"

Natsuki didn't answer, but Nao did. "Red lights...those laser things." Nao told Shizuru quietly. "Smoke helps you to see them, sometimes."

"You would require them for robbery because of that?" Shizuru's eyes were stern, but also confused. "Where on earth would you try to steal from, that would have that sort of technology?"

"I said breaking and entering." Natsuki growled dangerously. "Idiot...the stealing is what they caught me for, not what those smokes are for."

"I also asked you; where you would do something like that?" Shizuru didn't like it, but found herself pressing forward all the same. "Have you no shame at all?"

"Not about the things I did with the best of intentions." Natsuki's eyes lifted to Shizuru's. "That's all you can do." Her scowl was fierce, and her eyes were deadly.

"You've no regrets?" Somehow, Shizuru didn't quite believe that.

"Don't put words in my mouth." Natsuki told her, avoiding what was best left unsaid. "I'd do everything all over again, if I had to...but only then."

"Come on, 'Zuru..." Nao all but begged again. "Just leave it alone this time."

It took a while, the room stifling, but eventually Shizuru nodded. Still, even after feeling lost, and not at all mollified, she knew she had to put her foot down. "If I catch these in your mouth again, you're both going to be reported. I will not tolerate it a second time. You're both here to stay out of trouble, I'll be darned if you cause it." Then she let her eyes focus back to Natsuki. "As for you, don't toy with me Natsuki, we both know it's a battle you'll lose." She looked down at her watch, and decided to let sleeping dogs lie. "Dinner will be in an hour, I expect you both to be at the table...Nao, to your room until then."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Kind of a busy chapter. A lot of things are going on in it, but I hope you enjoy it either way...

A big thank you to Ms Kanzaki, she really is doing a wonderful job as a beta...

I do not own Mai HiME/Mai Otome.

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_**Rigged!  
Chapter 6  
(Natsuki POV)**_

I hate memories.

Memories turn into dreams, and then the dreams don't go away. That's just how it is. I don't know why, but I feel like they're taunting me...rubbing my nose in things I'd rather not know about. I have this uneasy feeling, I guess, every time the sun sits low in the sky. I think to myself, that the ghosts of my past may come and greet me again...I don't mind if they follow me. Shadows at my back are less bothersome. I prefer them that way. I like it when I don't have to see things, as long as I don't look.

I think, dreaming is the same way...as long as I don't sleep, I don't have to dream.

Still, sometimes dreaming is better than staying awake. There are some days, when no matter what you do, you can't kick the feeling that settles over you. It's heavy, and you can't move forward if it weighs you down. Nao's that type of person, and she has that kind of effect on me. She feels like dead weight on my back, but I made a promise when I first got my tattoo, and I've got to keep it. I swore my life to protecting those around me...the others in HiME...

It was our family history since way back...I don't know how deep into the history, but I know it spans quite a few generations. It was my grandmother's life, my mother's life...and I wanted it to be my life...so, my mother, steeped in the tradition of the HiME, saw no reason not to give me the tattoo...she was a successful woman, just as my grandmother was...and despite a few clan related mishaps, she grew up with a fulfilling childhood...and that says nothing of her adult life, nor the exciting and challenging career she had either. She had faith that it would cultivate me into the same type of strong woman that she was...so, on my eighth birthday, she inked me on my back...in the same place hers was.

Our mothers weren't saints...they were more like demons...notorious among particular crowds. They were the type of people that could be ruthless in their own ways. I'm not talking petty crimes, either.

They weren't your average female street thug...but then again, they seemed like normal women. No one suspected them, especially not my mother, who held down a very stable, high ranking job. Then again, when you work with genetics, you're already playing with fire...and my mother, well, lets just say she was the type of person that you didn't disrespect. I think that's why she was such a prized member of the HiME, as far as organized crime went, she was the brains behind a lot of the operations in her younger years.

Our moms, they were HiME too...but it's best if Nao doesn't know...it's better if she just doesn't understand those details. At least then, one day she can move on...maybe she can eventually forget about the red mark.

…

The sound of the piano was just loud enough to bother her, and pull her away from her current plans.

Natsuki had made a point to say nothing during dinner, doing all she could to send icy retaliation across the table at every question aimed at her. She'd had thought a few times to just get up and leave, but she endured it, hoping that would save her for a few hours. Seeking to be left well enough alone, she confined herself in her room again, listening to that soft music, filled with its own sense of intensity. High notes mingled with low ones in such a way, that Natsuki felt it. It was as if the person playing was dripping of such raw emotion.

It was a bit wistful, and with a sigh, Natsuki returned back to her project. _I'll never get anything done if I just sit here_. The sky was beautiful, but it wasn't enough to keep her attention. _Six months, then I can go back to Fuka. _She gripped her pen tighter, and growled as she jotted down more numbers, tearing the paper slightly when she heard the music stop. It was quiet, but not for long enough. "What do you want now?" She grumbled, as she saw Shizuru standing in her doorway, some folded clothes in hand.

"Your entire world is nothing but confinement." She said as she put the articles of clothing on Natsuki's bed. "I brought you some clothes that don't have such a tag on them." There was something else in the pile, a thick stack of papers. It was no question what they were. "It might be better for you to get rid of those numbers on the side of your pant legs."

"I don't particularly care what it says." Natsuki muttered trying to ignore the kind gesture. "You shouldn't either."

"I would be unhappy about it." Shizuru replied, unsure of what to say next. "I know how I would feel if I had been judged unfairly. You're no stranger to such finger pointing." She was used to being given the cold shoulder by now, but Natsuki's coldness was different than most. "I would want to fight it, and prove everyone wrong. I wouldn't be able to accept it."

That just forced a bitter laugh from Natsuki's lips. "An interesting notion, if you believe you can ever truly beat that kind of system." _I don't get it...why is she still trying to talk to me?_ Natsuki didn't know why Shizuru seemed so clingy, but she found this new level of persistence rather annoying. "The fact is, most people can't." No matter what she seemed to do, Shizuru fluttered around her like a bee to a flower. "Besides, I don't think it's worth my time to worry about it." It made Natsuki sigh, knowing she couldn't just bat the woman away like an insistent pest. "I have other, far reaching concerns."

"If you let yourself become labeled, how can you ever be free from it?" It was such a pressing question in Shizuru's mind, since she tried to live without such a thing, that it truly bothered her to see Natsuki so unconcerned. "You can't tell me you like it when people assume the worst in you...I don't know anyone who would, if they were in their right of mind."

"You're right. I don't like it, but still, a label is just an identity." Natsuki shrugged, putting aside her work. "You can have more than one." She reached into her back pocket for her pipe, scraping around the inside of it with a toothpick. _I wonder if she'll be pissed at me for this smoke too? _She found her lighter that was in her other pocket, looking up carefully at Shizuru's bothered expression. "Besides, this world needs them in some ways...you can't just disregard them entirely." She sucked the air in deeply, and held it in for a moment before speaking again. "Medical...if you insist on pushing me, I'll need it."

"I know." Shizuru sighed, looking away from the girl. "PTSD, it helps to settle your nerves...pills seem to make you aggressive or hyper, and...that doesn't." Shizuru was still unsure how she felt about that, but Natsuki seemed unwavering. "I'm sorry, Natsuki..." Part of her just wanted to walk away since there was nothing she could really say to that.

_So she did look at some of my history_...Natsuki shrugged, a bit unsure of herself "First page of the file...it makes things seem worse than they are." The smoke billowed from her lips and out of the window. "That damn thing always scares people off." She took another hit before putting that aside too. "Can't judge a person based on one of those things."

"That's true, and you can keep it...I'd like to learn about you myself, and I don't want those papers anywhere near me." She wanted nothing to do with them...to shred them, and toss the remnants into the wind...at least then, such a hellish matter would be left well enough alone. "May I sit down?" She couldn't just leave, she'd peered into soul that had been praying on her mind, and there was no way to cure the nagging thoughts.

"You still want to save the world?" Natsuki groused, but she didn't make a move to chase Shizuru off. "You should know better."

"Well, not the entire world." Shizuru said quietly. "I suppose that would be more than any person could do." There was a desk in the corner of the room that was empty, so, Shizuru took the liberty of pulling the chair out, remaining as unobtrusive as possible. "Still, I would like to say that I've done all that I can."

"Sounds like you're just passing time." Natsuki scoffed, although slowly she looked up from her papers, and out at the far away lights. "What's wrong, have no place else to go?" She knew they were from Fuka, and if she squinted hard enough, she could see the outlines of the tallest buildings. _What's up with this chick?_ Natsuki thought to herself, idly tapping her finger on the page in front of her. _Doesn't she have something better to do besides just sitting there, watching me like an idiot?_

"My place is here, I don't need to be anywhere else." Shizuru told her. "You seem to be different though."

"I've got too much left to do." She got up, going over to the file that was on the bed. "See this?" She flipped it open, taking out the first few pages, and then closed it. "There's more to it than meets the eye." Slapping the file down onto the desk, she took a good hard look at Shizuru. "If you want to save the world, you've got to be able to continue, even if all you see is shit." The wadded papers in her fist were little more than the hell her life had become. "You've read Nao's background, was it really so terrible?"

"It wasn't good by any means, Natsuki...and I stopped half way when she first came here." Shizuru sighed, looking away from those gleaming emerald eyes. "What happened to Nao, I can't fathom it. I've heard stories like that all of my life, but, I have never experienced such a thing." If it was that Natsuki had become a little more open, or that she was merely testing the waters again, Shizuru remained unsure. "I doubt anyone would be unscathed after such events...they're unspeakable."

"What does her file say that I don't know about?" Natsuki asked Shizuru then. "Her mom was a victim of domestic violence. Her aunt was a bitch, and her dad is a total prick...I've personally made sure he got what was coming to him." Then, she sighed away a lot of the pain before it could show on her face. "What that stupid thing won't ever tell you...hell, I don't even know where to begin...there's a lot it doesn't say." Some of her memories were left in tact, and so vivid, she could almost reach out to them when she closed her eyes. "How many nights did my mom pull out the telescope and tell us all about the stars? How many times did Nao's mom bake with us in the kitchen?" She put a hand to her face, rubbing away the tiredness in her eyes. "That stupid file doesn't say anything of real value." The papers in her other hand crinkled even more under her grip.

Shizuru could only offer a shrug. "Nao refuses to talk about things like that, so I honestly have no idea about her past. It seems as if every good thing in her life is overshadowed by the negatives. I've tried to get her to speak about happy memories, but I fear it's simply harder than she wants to admit." Shizuru said, her voice a gentle murmur. "I wish I knew, because Nao is very troubled...however, you are too, I'm beginning to see that within you."

"You're blind then." Natsuki said with a bite in her tone. "She doesn't talk about it because she knows better." Natsuki muttered, going back towards her window. "This stuff in my hand, this is the crap you don't need to know about...I don't care if you read the rest of it." Then as if it was an afterthought, she shoved the papers into the drawer of her nightstand. "Besides, it's not a big deal...so stop acting like it is."

"I would be happier if I could truly believe that." Shizuru said, pushing the file away again. "I would be much more at ease if Natsuki would tell me about it herself, one page at a time."

"Talk to you about it?" The mere thought was nearly laughable. "That's never going to happen." Natsuki just shook her head, unwilling to amuse that idea. "I'll tell you one thing, you're persistent, but so am I." She had to finish her current task, the one everyone seemed to be interrupting today, so as she went back to working on her paper, she found herself even more annoyed by Shizuru's gaze. "What am I, a zoo animal?"

"You'll have to excuse me, but it's as Nao says." Shizuru smiled gently. "Natsuki seems to be full of surprises, that's all."

"Whatever you say." Natsuki muttered, hiding her eyes again as she ducked behind her book. _God, I hate being stared at... _She thought as she peeked over the edge just the slightest bit. "Going to elaborate on that?" Then she hid behind the book again, slouching just to avoid those crimson eyes. _Go harass Nao or something! Shoo! Get going... _Natsuki didn't want to get hostile with the woman in the corner, muttering instead. "Damn it, you're annoying."

"I doubt you would take anything I say in good humor at the moment." Shizuru said simply whilst standing up. "If that's the case, I simply won't say anything at all." She almost left the room, but stopped at the door, pausing to look back. She wished she could see the paper, or at least get one last glance at those emerald orbs. "I'm not very sociable either, I suppose, although I might seem like it. Even so, I wouldn't mind having another friend."

"Friends..." Natsuki looked up, a skeptical scowl plastered across her face.

"Well, I certainly don't endeavor to parent a person such as yourself. You hardly need it." Shizuru shrugged softly. "Friendship, now that's mutually beneficial. I wouldn't begrudge anyone that luxury."

_She probably doesn't even know the meaning of that word_... With a scowl, she tried to ward away the string of curses she wanted to sling at the woman. "Friends help out...they're people you can fall back on." Natsuki said then. "The trouble is, you have to have blind faith in them. That's something most people don't deserve."

…

Blind faith was only meant for those who had gone to hell and back...and Natsuki didn't have many people on that list. She knew she had to contact the city though, and it was something that couldn't be put off. With a sigh, she submitted to the fact that a HiME was a HiME, and even if a person wanted out, the web of fate had already tangled Mai inside insidious web. There was no other choice but to ask for Mai's help, not to mention, the girl deserved answers...all of the Fuka HiME did.

Natsuki didn't have a choice, she had to write the letter.

~Mai, remember when you used to hit me because I never asked for help? Well, I'm asking you now...I know you want out of the Fuka HiME, but first, there are some things you should know...that everyone should know...I'm sorry Mai, but it needs to be you...you need to make sure this information gets to the right people. I can't disclose my location, that's why there's no return address. This is really sensitive information, so no one will have a way to reply to me...I can't risk this, because now...well, the thing is...I know I can keep my promise.

I can fix things, and make them right again. Out of all people, make sure Yamada gets it...I need his connections, and he'll know how to find me. He can also let everyone else know...so after you find him, your end of this is done...you won't have to worry about anything after that. Just make sure you find him.

Still, there's something I've got to tell you. It's going to be a little hard to take, so only read it when you're mentally prepared...I know how you are, and you'll probably start blubbering like an idiot. It isn't a bad thing, actually, far from it. Okay, make sure you're sitting down...ready for this?

Nao's alive.

I know, I was shocked too...we got shoved together in the same house. I'm sure this wasn't a stroke of luck...this was planned, but, I don't need to be telling you that, I'm sure. Anyway, we're safe, and isolated from anyone who may know us. I went out last night and ran a check around the area. There's nothing here, no way to tell where we might be, everything blends in so well, I'm sure that Nao is well hidden here. That was totally Yukino's doing, Haruka wouldn't have thought to plan for any danger from our past like that.

Anyway, I need a few things...like a new Ducati, but not my usual model...Yamada will understand why. Get me something from the Monster series, or, failing that, grab me one from the Daivel series...I also need a few guns, and ammunition. Get the usual. A knife or two would be nice...and of course military rations and some water. All of the necessary survival gear as well...one last thing...see the folded paper? Make sure he has that...it's how he'll find me.

I think I know how to go about everything. Tell the Fuka HiME I can do this on my own...I don't need or want anyone to get involved...just let me handle this. It's my fight, I'll end it...for everyone's sake...I promise.~

She knew what the letter said, but now that it was safely put in an envelope and stuffed into her back pocket, she wasn't sure if she should do it or not. Natsuki knew, however, that she couldn't let everyone go on without knowing the truth. Her mind was like a blank void during her first day in the shop...this was natural, and the familiar smells gave her a little comfort. She dove right into the nearest car she could get her hands on, and it looked to be a sad state of affairs. "What the hell happened to this thing?"

"According to the owner, a broken radiator." Shizuru said, though she hadn't had a chance to look at it herself yet.

"Is the person a total idiot?" Natsuki couldn't help watching fluid drip in more places than one. "Did he even look under the hood?"

"That's Takeda's car..." Shizuru shrugged knowingly. "He's a boy who lives a few houses down from us. High aspirations, and also a fairly large ego." She didn't need to look inside to know how bad it probably was. "If he paid half as much attention to the car as he does to women, it wouldn't be in here every other month."

"That's probably why he does fuck it up so much." Nao replied, looking in from the back room, getting dressed into her work uniform. "Think about it...we're bent over cars all afternoon, and those strippers across the street don't leave anything to the imagination...any dude would be jerking to that."

"Nao!" Two voices chimed and both Shizuru and Midori scolded her.

"What?" Nao laughed, shrugging her shoulders. "It's true...look at them."

"Well, even if he is a pervert, he outdid himself this time." Natsuki said then, desperately trying to change the subject. "Busted to hell, and corroded on the inside...this is more than just a screwed up radiator." Natsuki muttered to herself more than anything as she pulled her long midnight tresses into a ponytail. "It'll need a new one...and that's the least of this thing's problems. This entire car is completely trashed. We're talking a new engine here."

"We get a lot of these types around here." Shizuru said, leaning over to get a better look at what Natsuki was muttering about. "These cars see rough terrain every day, and, some people just don't know how to deal with small issues, so, they just ignore them." With a casual sigh, Shizuru leaned down to get a look underneath the car, only to shake her head. "Eventually, this is what those issues turn into." She could tell, this wasn't a good starting car for anyone, and would take advanced skill. "I think you should sit this one out. I'll have Midori come help me with this."

Natsuki scowled at Shizuru. "Don't patronize me, I've been jacking parts off cars since before I hit puberty."

"Natsuki, this isn't as simple as it might look." She back away from the car, filling out a few forms, and circling some things for a proper estimate. "I don't think it would be a good idea."

"Are you kidding?" Nao said coming into the work area to see what all the fuss is about. "Her mom was a biomedical engineer...but that was only her day job...Natsuki learned from the best...I've seen her and a few others dismantle an entire truck in just a few hours...Natsuki could probably put Midori to shame when it comes to this kind of thing."

"Is that so?" Shizuru replied looking up from her work station, the pen in her hand hovered over the part where she was to place her signature. "Midori isn't any slouch, she's the best mechanic I know. She can refurbish old cars that have seen better days, and return them to their former glory."

"You would know what I'm capable of if you would actually read the stupid file." Natsuki told Shizuru harshly. "I might not know all of your procedure for that crap on the desk, but if we're just talking about fixing this hunk of trash, that's not a problem." Then she looked over at Nao. "Can you keep up with me?"

Nao scowled at that. "Oh, like hell." She thought that much had been obvious. "What are you, stupid? I'm never helping you with another car job again...even if this one is legal." Nao waved them off, going back into the main office. "Do it yourself."

_Going out of your way to try and keep Shizuru and I in the same room, huh? _Natsuki scowled but she didn't say a word. "I see what she's trying to do." Natsuki said offhandedly, getting a better look at the engine, and other nooks and crannies. "I just don't get why..." Then she went about removing the hinges of the hood carefully, using one hand to support it. "Nao's not that kind of person, well, at least not often."

"Hmm, well I'm not entirely sure about it myself. She's grown fond of me...but that wasn't always the case." Shizuru explained as she came around to the other side of the simple blue economy car to help lift the hood off completely and carry it to a nearby rack. "Nao was withdrawn when she first came here." They hoisted it up carefully. "I think this may be her way of apologizing."

"By forcing me to deal with you?" It didn't make Natsuki the least bit happy to hear that, but it did make sense. _Nao wants me to make nice-nice does she? _The idea wasn't one Natsuki sat well with. Still, there was a job to do, and the meticulous actions could save her from Shizuru's prying...or so she hoped. "Nao's got some pretty funny ways of showing her gratitude."

"I don't deny that." Shizuru agreed softly. "Still, I think it's sweet, in its own way."

"Yeah...maybe." Natsuki was forced to see Shizuru clearly, to face her, and she couldn't avoid Shizuru's easy expression. _She's stronger than she looks... _Natsuki thought to herself as they put the large piece down so that they could return to work. "It's just, Nao's always withdrawn...that's just how she is...I can't remember her being open at all."

"She doesn't have to be open to trust people." Shizuru said quietly as she disconnected the ground cable on the battery, and Natsuki began draining the coolant. "Nao learned that, but even so, there are times I wish I knew of her past." She took the time to look over at Natsuki, who just kept her eyes fixated on the car. "You're becoming the same type of enigma. I wish I knew more about you too."

"Fine, then...but only the thing you already know about." They started unhooking the rubber hoses, and Natsuki was glad for that distraction. "Pages one through four in the file...the things I ripped out, they're about the topics I can't recall...known facts, but I've mentally blocked them. The memories are starting to come back to me slowly. Through dreams, sights, and sounds...I'm beginning to put some of the fractured stuff back together. The PTSD is from that..." Natsuki said then quietly. "The reason I'm allowed the medical pot is because it grounds me." Her words were purely factual, not a hint of emotion behind them. "It's a smell I'm used to, and it relaxes me enough to be able to sleep...something pills can't seem to accomplish. All those do is make me paranoid."

Shizuru nodded, but she was unable to hide her shock. Out of all of the things Natsuki might choose to talk about, that one was not in Shizuru's preconceived list. "This may come as a bit of a shock to you, but I'm not as straight laced as I seem." She felt as if she needed to say something reassuring. "You don't have to dive into deep things." As they took out the fan, loosened the alternator, and removed the belts Natsuki was quiet. They exchanged little more than a few passing phrases pertaining to the car.

It was only after after all of that, when Natsuki finally spoke. "That's not deep...it's science." Natsuki said while looking down at the radiator in her hands. "It's a way a person's mind works...it can even be linked all the way down into the genes. Some people can cope better than others based on their gene pool...that's not personal, that's an answer some people don't have."

"Very few would probably want that answer." Shizuru's words were quiet and uneasy. "People react one of two ways...they either want to know something is natural...or they wish to avoid it like the plague." While it was true she didn't know many with the condition, she did know Natsuki's vantage point was insightful, and not the normal one. "People tend to avoid things that hurt or frighten them, it's in our nature."

"Not all the time." Natsuki said then, believing it wasn't so clear cut. "Humans are amazing things, and we know so little about ourselves. We are basically machines...yet, we have awareness." It was then she took the liberty upon herself to deal with the air supply and fuel lines. "It's complicated if you look at the big picture...but when you break it down, it's freakishly simple..just like this car...but, at the end of the day, I think the basic idea is still without a doubt, an impersonal topic."

"Then, what would you consider personal?" Shizuru asked then, almost unsure of if she wanted an answer.

"The things I can't recall." Natsuki said easily. "Or, the details of my life, those are personal too..." _and you'll stay out of that can of worms_. She thought to herself as she cleared away some of the parts that would need to be replaced entirely.

"Give me an example." Shizuru urged gently as she blotted away the sweat from her brow and pulling two water bottles from the bag at her workstation. "Anything will do."

Natsuki accepted the one that Shizuru handed to her. "I just told you, I don't like talking about personal things."

"How about this, I'll tell you something about myself." She took a sip of her water, trying to think of something worthy. "A shared promise...I won't tell anyone...and that way, you'll have a little something on me, if you ever wish to use it."

"There is nothing you could possibly say to me about your past that would have any use at all." Natsuki told Shizuru skeptically.

"You'd wager that?" Shizuru said then with a sly smirk.

"I've got nothing to lose." Natsuki shrugged.

"You'd better ante up, because this one is quite the little tidbit." She licked her lips, and took another sip of the cool, refreshing beverage. "Haruka, Yukino, and I were all good friends growing up. When I was your age, Haruka was having a few difficulties with her tests in the police academy. She knew all of the questions, but, ask her to put them down on paper, and she'd get half the answers wrong. Yukino and I got the wise idea to try to hack into the grading system. We wanted to change Haruka's test scores from failing to a passing grade...I'll leave to your imagination how that debacle ended."

"There is no way in hell that Yukino would do that." Natsuki didn't dare believe it, crossing her arms, and squeezing her water bottle just a little.

"You'd be surprised what she would do for Haruka." Shizuru said with a soft smile. "It wasn't our finest hour, I'll say that much. Yukino managed to get on academic probation because of it, and Haruka had to repeat the class. Since we actually used a stolen key to get into the faculty office, they arrested us, but later they dropped the charges. I had to wait for four hours to be bailed out. My mother wasn't in the least bit pleased, but, that's how it goes. Though it can't compare to you and Nao, I had a rough patch in my life, and I didn't think things through as much as I should have."

"You win..." It was a low, but accepting growl. _Damn it...she's right though...I could use that on Yukino later... _Natsuki had to think, searching for something personal, but she struggled. So much of her life was best kept under lock and key...still, there was one thing that was innocent enough, or so she thought. "On page five...I had an Airedale Terrier growing up..." Natsuki sighed out. "His name was Duran...that dog followed me everywhere." Natsuki trailed off, swallowing hard, trying to distance herself away from what she was saying. "That's the kind of stuff that's personal to me." The pang in her heart over losing the beloved family pet was making her eyes burn, and she dove back into working on the car...she craved the distraction...anything to keep herself from breaking down.

…

They closed late that evening, and so, against Shizuru's better judgment and her pocket book, they ordered out at the nearest restaurant near by. There was a community mailbox on the street corner, and so, when Shizuru wasn't looking, Natsuki slipped the white envelope inside. While Shizuru waited inside for the takeout to be done, Nao and Natsuki stood outside, watching the cars pass them by. "You know what's so strange, there's no graffiti on anything at all."

"It's just like Mai's old neighborhood." Nao agreed, as she looked down at the little stones at her feet. "Only with gravel and dust that cover the roads...and there isn't huge traffic jams."

"There isn't any street vendors either." That was something Natsuki missed. "The fried rice stands were awesome back home..."

"We're only four hours away from the city by car, idiot...you could drive back if you wanted to." Then another thought came to mind. "Hell, we could go back on foot in a few days if we really wanted to get out of here." Nao muttered while crossing her arms, and leaning on the display window. "I kind of miss Mai."

"We couldn't go back." Natsuki's sighed, looking up at the sky. "I could, and I'd be okay if I did that...but you'd have to stay here."

"Why wouldn't I be able to go?" Nao asked, a bit annoyed.

"You have a good thing going for you, and you don't want to screw that up." There wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was clear, a beautiful blue. _Does it have to look like the ocean? _It gave her a weird, nostalgic feeling, and although she knew why, it still bothered her to see it like that. _I know that it's just a reaction from molecules, but even so...when it's like this, I feel like I'm going to drown. _That was the reason Nao had to stay behind...she was safe here. "Nao, you need to understand, Fuka is not the place you remember. A lot of people have changed for the worse since you left."

"The people with the mark?" Nao asked, and Natsuki only nodded. "Am I old enough yet?"

"You're not joining." Natsuki's words were dark. "I won't let you get mixed up in it."

"Mom was." Nao fired back. "She was so proud of it...like it was something of honor." Her lime green eyes found those of emerald. "I want that too."

"You don't." Natsuki's voice was cool, but her eyes were hard. "You don't understand what that mark means Nao, once you're in, you can't get out...and that was okay for our parents...for us it's different." She sighed deeply, trying to think of how to explain it, coming up short. "There was a time when gang clans were filled with honor and a sense of loyalty in Fuka. That's why we called ourselves ninkyō dantai...because the clans believed in themselves, and each other." It just wasn't that way anymore...now it was territorial disputes and senseless violence just to keep order and rank...it wasn't like the days their parents remembered. "We're no longer the chivalrous organizations we took pride in. There's fighting amongst ourselves and each other...and it doesn't stop there, new organizations are showing up all over the place...and you don't belong anywhere near it."

"You know who did it." Nao scowled and bit her lower lip. "You fucking bastard, when were you going to tell me?!"

"I don't." It was a lie, but it was for Nao's own good. "If I did, I would have taken care of it by now."

"You'd tell me, if you knew?" She could see through the lie, but still played Natsuki's game.

"Yeah..." Natsuki nodded. "I would...if I knew."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Updates will be kind of slow for this last week of October, and the start of November...I'll be going to Youmacon (31st-3rd), so I won't actually be at my computer for any length of time during those days. Hope to see some HiME/Otome cos-players there. I've outgrown my Natsuki cosplay, not to mention my hair is ungodly short, and I can't find my wig...that said, I'm not going to be cosplaying this year...though I could do Nagi (otome style...yes that's how short my hair is) I have no desire to dye it silver. If you're going to be in Detroit for youmacon, you may see me among the crowed...for anyone who may have seen me last year (Making a derp of myself on the river walk, and hosting small shiz/nat fan fiction writers circles) I'll be doing that again this year. If you'll be at the con, and you see me, give me a glomp.

...I guess I'll wear a paper sign or...well, something...to make it known who I am...Sombereyes from the FFN and AO3.

In any case, with that quick update out of the way, on with the fiction...remember to give a big thank you to the beta of this story, Ms Kanzaki.

I don't own Mai HiME/Mai Otome

* * *

_**Rigged!  
Chapter 7  
(Shizuru POV)**_

Tea is distinct, and sometimes a little bitter.

It comes in a vast assortment of flavors, colors, and even scents. It can be served hot, room temperature, or chilled. Some require milk, others need sugar. Even more still, one must consider how to prepare it. What sort of kettle should be used? To strain, or not to strain? There are all sorts of special needs, because tea is a finicky thing. Despite all of that, the process is still fairly simple. Anyone can toss a teabag into a mug, shove it into a microwave, and just let it go. Will it taste anything like it could have, if a person took their time?

The answer is no...it can't...and generally people are okay with that sacrifice.

We don't mind a lackluster outcome, at least, not when the attempt is equally halfhearted. We think that cutting corners buys us some time, and it's in our nature to greedily pluck away at anything that has value...nothing is more valuable than our own personal interests. Our individual needs tend to come before others...especially if those desires and requirements don't coincide. That's just the way it is, and we accept that. I don't proclaim to have all the answers, but, I can say I don't like to feel rushed...and I don't like to guzzle my tea, either.

I feel as if a human soul is also quite the finicky little thing...as if it isn't properly watched over, it can become bitter and over done...just like the tea I so enjoy.

My mother and I used to make jokes of what we would be like, if we ourselves, were types of tea, a fun childhood game that is now a hobby of mine. Perhaps it may seem odd, a bit out of the ordinary for sure, even so, I don't mind. Everyone is entitled to a few silly little thoughts every now and then...still, Natsuki is very much that sort of person that I can't help but to ponder about. She is a mystery, and so, this tiny game of mine is perhaps my way to deal with that.

If I had to think of what type of tea she would be, I can rest assured, she would be very exquisite and rare.

A complicated black tea blend, perhaps. Robust, and probably with a rich, nutty aftertaste. Her color would probably be a reddish tint so dark, that it can only be found once it is nearly gone. She would be a tea best served at room temperature. Icy would be refreshing, but it would numb flavorful undertones...too hot, and you'd risk making the tea so bitter, it would be hard to swallow...yes...I think that's the type of tea Natsuki would be. You wouldn't pour such a drink into a crystal glass on a hot summers day, nor a teacup on a cold winter's night. It wouldn't be fitting, even if the tea itself is amazing.

Natsuki's the type of tea a person would enjoy at their leisure. Likely, whilst wrapped in an oversized sweater, gripping the mug with both hands on a beautiful spring or fall morning...

Our first week together was complicated, and full of pitfalls...she's very stony, and I like that quality in her. At fist glance, I thought her to be a fortress. That just isn't the case...but I regret to say, I don't know what is. She has unusual interests, and they keep her busy, that's for sure. She's always sequestered up in that room of hers. I don't know if she's a mathematician, or if she's simply bored, but she's often wandering around with some paper, and a calculator.

She's very strange in that way.

Brash, and quick to anger...yet, very scientific and intelligent. One would think her to be cold and aloof, but instead, she's warm and oddly sentimental about the smallest things. There are times I wish I could hold her, but I've come to understand that Natsuki's idea of reciprocating any sort of physical response is lashing out. She has a personal bubble that's very clearly defined, and if a person steps into it, she goes on the defensive immediately. Her issues with trust aside, she's not entirely disinterested in the idea of it...I don't know what she's taken notice of, but she has started to talk to me, so long as it doesn't include anything she deems to be personal.

I've tried to channel her pent up aggression, but she's not musically inclined...piano lessons were out of the question. I tried to get Natsuki interested in motocross, something that Nao loves purely because it invites ruckus. Unfortunately, Natsuki refused the idea, and she won't ride. When I asked her why, she merely shrugged at me and said I wouldn't understand, so I've dropped that idea as well. I tried other things too. There's a fishing hole not too far away, and I thought that might appeal to her nature, but I made the mistake of taking Nao along...it ended with the boat tipping over, and then a fight between them.

I've got to channel Natsuki somehow, she's too restless...but, at least now I understand her a little better...I think, maybe I should call my mother.

…

Shizuru shared the outside swing on one early morning. "Aren't you going to forgive Nao?" Natsuki was quiet both in the morning and at night. She had a habit of just sitting around in a corner someplace, watching the world go by, but it was filled with an apprehensive gaze. This morning was no different. "She didn't mean to cause you harm, I'm sure."

"I hate deep water." Natsuki's voice was husky and tired. Often times she refused to wear anything besides parts of her old uniform. "Nao knows that better than anyone else." Orange pants didn't suit her, but the blue ones were their own brand of hell. "She knows I'm pissed, I will be for a while." At night, she usually kept her hair in one long braid to keep it from tangling, and since it was so early, Natsuki hadn't taken it out yet. "I won't beat her up over it...but I can't say I want to see her face either."

"Being angry doesn't solve anything, and it doesn't offer any solace." She'd made finger sandwiches that morning, and offered one to Natsuki, but it was refused. "I don't pretend to understand the situation, but it seems as if Nao was trying to goad you. I haven't seen her resort to sort provocation in a long time." Shizuru had been looking for some sort of action within Natsuki, but the girl didn't seem interested in displaying anything. _You're going to be difficult again, aren't you? _It didn't ease Shizuru at all, but she simply munched on her sandwich and let the air grow empty around them. "There must be a reason why."

"There is." Natsuki didn't relinquish any more information than that.

"I'll take a shot in the dark, and assume you're unwilling to talk about it." Shizuru knew she had to remain emotionally distant, or Natsuki wouldn't be willing to say anything at all.

"What was your first clue?" Natsuki's voice was closed off, and uninviting.

"You're scowlin' again, I'm beginning to think your face has become stuck like that." Shizuru could feel the edginess wave across Natsuki like an unsettled, stirring wind. _I can't avoid this any longer. I've got to find out, regardless of how difficult it is... _"You may have flown under Yukino's radar, but I'm sharper than that...besides, word gets around quick here. I know you mailed some sort of letter into city limits. I'd like to know why."

"That's the same topic as before." Natsuki wouldn't break so easily...she did get defensive though. "No dice."

"So the letter was about Nao?" It was less a question, and more a conclusion. "You are a quandary, and I can't blame you for that...I'd like to think you're filled with good intentions, yet even so, mailing letters without approval violates your probation."

"Don't go snooping." Natsuki bit out, her eyes hardening at Shizuru.

"I doubt you could have made me anymore aware." There was a sadness there, apology laced within her crimson eyes when she sighed. "Forgive me Natsuki, but I heard you dreaming last night." At the mere mention of that, Natsuki tensed up and looked away. "Nao said it would be best not to wake you, and I thought the same. Still, it wasn't a comforting sight to watch."

"Yeah, so what?" Her tone was edgy, it was her eyes that did a poor job of hiding the shame. "Do you have a point, or do you just get a twisted joy out of provoking me?"

"Haruka told me a little bit, but now I'm sure." Shizuru didn't think to look over at Natsuki, she knew that would have set the girl off. Natsuki was already looking as if she was ready to bolt. _Natsuki, you poor girl...I've got to figure out how to get through that barrier of yours somehow... _There wasn't an easy solution, Shizuru had to come right out and say it. "You were muttering a great deal in your sleep...I won't ask about some of it, because to be honest, I'm not sure I want to know yet." She swallowed hard. _If only you could trust me a little bit, this wouldn't be so difficult_. She steadied her nerves. "Although, there is one thing, Natsuki...who are the HiME?"

"Can't say." Natsuki muttered, she didn't move or try to elaborate, she just sat with her knees to her chin, looking out at the crabgrass swaying in the wind.

"Can't, or won't?" Shizuru asked then, looking over to Natsuki.

With a sigh, Natsuki got up from where she sat. "Also on page five...I was primarily taken care of by my mother, Saeko...what that page doesn't tell you, was how she was raised...and that's a family matter." Natsuki said quietly. "It ends with me, so you don't need to know about it." Then, she faced Shizuru clearly. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again...I don't talk about personal things...but if I tell you that I can't say something...I mean it, I actually can't say a word...if I don't want to tell you something, I just won't." She needed some space, so she headed for the door to go inside. "This time, it's can't." She had no qualms about slamming the door behind her.

…

"She's so guarded, sometimes I truly wonder if I'm even able to be of help." With no one else to turn to, Shizuru ended up calling upon her mother for some advice. "Natsuki isn't the type to blurt things out as freely as Nao does, so unfortunately, there's a lot of unclear rhymes and riddles that come along with everything Natsuki says."

"She sounds like quite the handful." Though the topic of their conversation didn't seem to want to come out of hiding, Suzume could feel the difference in the household. "Then again, maybe that's a blessing." Nao wasn't terrorizing the neighbors, and the yard was quiet for once. "So, where is this Natsuki that troubles you so much?" They stood at the kitchen counter, baking some cookies, the method tried and true for any deep conversation.

"Up in her room, and she refuses to come out." Whisking the heavy cream was a rather boring task, but it kept Shizuru's hands busy, and she couldn't deny, she loved the smell of warmed baked goods on occasion. "Nao will probably wander through here like a tornado looking for handouts." The gaze she sent her mother was enough of a warning. "She won't be getting anything this time."

"So you say." Suzume brushed off the comment with ease. "Oh, don't frown at me like that, I hardly spoil her."

"You lie." Shizuru said with the frown still clearly marring her face "The fact is that you give her money every time you see her." Shizuru's exasperated tone left little to the imagination. "Nao will get the wrong impression if you keep that up."

"What impression?" Suzume feigned innocence with the best of them. "You seem convinced she'll never actually be adopted. If that's the case, this will be the only home that child will ever have." She made her way around the kitchen like an old hand, tossing in ingredients at random, without needing to measure them. "She is family, and I might as well be her grandmother...lord knows that child could use some routine in her life that she can depend on."

"Mother, please don't start this again." Shizuru sighed, shaking her head. "Nao has no interest in that idea remotely, and I'd have to agree with her." She looked down at the puffy substance that had been a liquid not log ago...now it looked like a cloud inside of the metal bowl. "Besides, with Natsuki, I feel like I've opened a new door to all of those old problems." At her mother's questioning glance, Shizuru shrugged. "They're more like siblings than friends...I'm starting to understand why Nao didn't have the heart to speak of her past." Shaking off the whisk and depositing it in the sink, she went about clearing away some of the empty bowls to make room for more. "A lot of it includes Natsuki, so, I've begun to get a much clearer picture."

"That clarity looks as if it'll come to haunt you yet, my child." Before her daughter could dive deeper into the recesses of her own mind, she dolloped a tiny bit of frosting into Shizuru's nose to break her of her trace. "Now then, where have I seen that expression before? You're beginning to become more and more like your father every day." Suzume said with a raised eyebrow. "So stern, Shizuru, is it really so bad?"

"Natsuki doesn't seem as bothered by her past." Shizuru said after a moment to clean off her face, and to think about the matter. "She seems rather protective of it."

Her mother nodded, while tasting the sweet butter cream frosting once it was done. "Hmm, a little more sugar." She retrieved the bag while her daughter gawked. "Shizuru, now really...there is no point to fuss over every little difficulty you come across."

"There is nothing little about this." Shizuru pressed. "It consumes them, and it lingers in Natsuki's eyes, you can see it every single time she looks off into the distance!"

"Well, this Natsuki is an interesting one, I'll give her that." Suzume said, regarding her daughter as she finished putting the frosting in a piping bag. "I've never seen you so invested in another person before." With measured grace, she put down the bag and sighed, carefully considering her words. "It isn't like you to pry so deeply, or to become so vexed over another person."

"Just what are you trying to imply?" Shizuru asked quietly, her voice a bare whisper.

"Nothing in particular." Suzume said quietly, frowning. "Should there be any implication at all?"

"Of course not." Shizuru sighed, she could feel another headache starting to form. "That would be completely outrageous at best."

"Yet not out of the realm of possibility." Suzume returned earnestly. "It's not unnatural to take an interest in another person."

"I don't like where this is headed." Shizuru warned her mother carefully. "Don't go letting your imagination run away with you."

"It seems to me, you're the one taking matters out of context." Suzume's words hushed her daughter.

"I am not." Shizuru replied after several moments. "This entire conversation has turned completely ludicrous."

"Not quite how I would word it, but alright, if you insist." Now, it was Suzume's turn to gawk. "Let's focus on your difficulties for a moment. When was the last time you went out to do something for yourself?"

"You mean when was the last time I spent my time romantically involved?" Shizuru withdrew from the stare-down immediately. "That answer remains the same as before. I never have, and I doubt I ever will." She kept her eyes averted, even though she could feel her mother's eyes burning with worry. "It's as father said: it's better to uphold a vow of chastity, than it is to give into indecency."

"Don't tell me you actually believe that." For not the first time, she felt as if she'd raised her daughter with great injustice. "He merely wanted you to be careful about your situation, he didn't intend for you to live alone your entire life." She could see the discomfort in her daughter's eyes. "If you're a lesbian, there's nothing you can do about it...he just wanted you to be sure about it, that's all."

"This isn't up for discussion." Shizuru said in a heated voice. "I, for one, am not comfortable with it."

"You never are." Suzume sighed. "Face it Shizuru, you're afraid of your own shadow." She couldn't believe that even after so long, Shizuru cowered so easily when it came to her own heart's desire. "When was the last time you opened your heart to anyone? Every time there's a woman you're remotely interested in, you don't say a word."

"Why do you nag at me about things you don't understand?" Shizuru asked just a little louder than she meant to. "I'll admit, I am a little lonely at times...and I'm only human, so I'm not without my longings...but I would never allow myself to act on them...it's just..." She sighed and bit her lower lip. "It's not in my nature to act on anything that could push others away, and you know that."

"At first, I thought it was only because you were unsure of yourself." Suzume also had her own lists of admittances. "Your father and I worried over it, because even after you told us, you made it a point to avoid the subject. I thought you'd become more comfortable after seeing that your friends were accepted, seeing as they share their relationship openly, regardless of being judged on it." Suzume felt like berating herself. "I should have known it would be difficult for you, still, I figured you'd find some way to move beyond your struggles."

"They're mine to have, not yours." She had to settle on something to say, and that was the easiest thing she could come up with. "I don't mind a little loneliness here and there...besides, if I ever thought to bring anyone home, I'm sure Nao would take issue with it. I can't lose her trust." The dishes were starting to pile up, so as she ran some hot water she took a glance outside, noticing a young teen hanging down from the tree outside. "Do you see that? It's that kind of thing you should worry about."

"Mikoto's alright." Still, Suzume took a peek outside, just to be sure. "I see nothing wrong with allowing her to be a little adventurous. Not every child can be like you, in fact, I'd be willing to bet you were far more cautious than you should have been as a child."

"Well, perhaps you were just a little unconventional." She said turning off the oven when it beeped. "I don't know anyone else who would try to get me to color outside of the lines."

"I never knew a child who could eat a blueberry in four bites like you could, either." Suzume said then with a soft smile. "It's okay to take risks." Even as she said that, watching Mikoto fall down from one of the branches, she didn't allow herself to be worried, watching as Mikoto tried to get back up the tree again. "Chances are just part of how life works."

_I wish I could be so free spirited... _Shizuru agreed, though she didn't voice it for her mother to hear. Instead, she offered something far more distant. "Some aren't worth the risk."

"It seems to me that Mikoto isn't the only one playing in the branches." Suzume said offhandedly, causing Shizuru to glance at the one near the back of the house.

"She isn't?" Shizuru bit her lower lip. "She is." Natsuki was up in the tulip tree. "Natsuki's going to get herself killed at this rate."

"So, that's the infamous Natsuki." Suzume merely smiled when Shizuru stormed out of the house, watching from the relative safety of the window. "Interesting, to speak the least..."

…

"Get down from there!" She had no idea why Natsuki seemed to walk on boundary lines...but she also knew quite well by now, Natsuki would let her push back. Try though she might to understand Natsuki's quirks, they weren't the strangest things. No, those seemed fairly normal, if not a bit eccentric to the outside observer. Still, there were times like this, that skewed Shizuru's perception of Natsuki even further. "Now, I mean it!" As if pointing to the ground would do any good, she managed to lose her temper enough to make the action repeatedly.

"Later." Natsuki was adept at working with her hands, but somehow, that was less a comfort than it had once been.

"I said now, and I do mean now." She could hardly see the girl up on the trees, but she could see the planks of wood leading upwards. "Don't make me come up there."

"Can't you see I'm doing something?" Natsuki had a hammer in one hand, and tool belt slung around her hips haphazardly. "You can yell at me later." The only thing helping to support her was a rope that she'd found hanging on the wall near the several toolboxes in the garage. "I'll even come in for dinner, just buzz off."

_What on earth could be so important that high up? _Shizuru couldn't even fathom the answer. "Natsuki, if that rope snaps..." She worried, biting her lower lip. "Be reasonable..."

"Don't be stupid." Natsuki returned, though her voice wasn't harsh when the words slipped from her lips. "It won't snap." She began to hammer away again.

The problem was, Shizuru couldn't see what it was. "You won't know that for sure." Growing impatient, and without much else to do she looked at the wood planking that had been hammered into the thick tree trunk. It seemed sturdy enough. She nibbled her lower lip, but rested her foot deftly onto it. Then she tested the next one, and before she knew it, she was slowly climbing up the makeshift ladder. "Natsuki, you have no idea how dangerous this is."

"At least I know enough to harness myself to my work area." Natsuki said as she lowered herself on the pulley system she'd waved through the tree branches, meeting Shizuru halfway. "I'm also not stupid enough to climb up an unfinished ladder without help." They were several feet from the ground now.

Shizuru clung onto the plank as if her life depended on it, and when she looked down her heart took a leap into her throat. "Oh my..." The fact was, she didn't like heights. "How does one get down?" Her eyes grew wide, and suddenly, she forgot why she was climbing in the first place.

"You're a complete idiot." Natsuki grumbled while swinging her body a little to get closer to Shizuru. "Scared of heights, but you still decide to climb up anyway." Natsuki looked down. She wasn't about to tell Shizuru that they were only a good ten feet off the ground. Instead, she just answered Shizuru's question. "This is a one inch, double braided, nylon rope." She explained as she wrapped her arms around Shizuru's torso.

"What does that mean?" Her voice quivered, and though she didn't particularly enjoy being scared out of her wits, she leaned into Natsuki's protective embrace, resisting the urge to cling into her and scream as they slowly made their way down.

"It can hold several thousand pounds easily." It was only a moment that felt like an eon, when their feet touched the ground.

"The limbs could snap, Natsuki, it's dangerous." Shizuru said it again, but Natsuki shook her head.

"Remember page five..." Natsuki said then softly. "She was a biomedical engineer...but in that field, there are all sorts of specialties. Mom worked primarily with systems physiology inside of the lab that overlooks Fuka." She hadn't realized that Shizuru was still in her arms, but when that dawned on her, she let go of the woman who kept shaking. "She studied species in their natural habitats on more than one occasion. People who worked there had to be able to climb up and down the rocky outcrops." Natsuki explained before grabbing onto the rope, and pulling herself back up. "I lived at the lab just as much as I did back at home...I went wherever my mom went, so even though I'm not as good as her, I think I can survive dangling from a tree."

With a breathy sigh, Shizuru tried to maintain her composure, but all she could do was feel lost at Natsuki's complexity. "What is 'systems physiology' exactly, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Hmm." Natsuki stopped only long enough to consider that. "I guess you could say that they try to figure out the function of living organisms. They use the experimental data to make descriptions of physiological events...they use math to do it. They study everything...not just humans, but all life forms, even the single celled organisms too."

"I see." It wasn't the first time Natsuki insisted on making herself into a quandary that Shizuru couldn't figure out. "However that doesn't mean I condone the fact that you're hanging from that rope like that." The woman of fawn tresses knew it likely wouldn't be the last, either. _It isn't as if I can change Natsuki's mind. _The thought didn't comfort her. Still, she merely sat down in the grass, watching Natsuki work. _It can't be helped, so I should at least watch over her, in case she falls... _She thought to herself, thinking better of attempting to climb up once again. "What are you making, anyway?"

"Stop worrying about it." Natsuki said, her emerald eyes meeting Shizuru's as she looked down.

…

When nothing seemed to make sense, pay dirt finally hit.

Shizuru didn't know what to expect when she found the envelope sitting in her mailbox. There was no return address, and the name was an unfamiliar one. She knew from the way it felt, the way it seemed so unclear, that it was meant only for one person. It was a reply for Natsuki.

Unsure of what to think, Shizuru clutched a letter in her hands. She wanted to open it, but she knew better. Still, she couldn't condone this, and, she had to be sure that it was safe. Opening in the inside gave her little in the way of answers, and only more questions. _Math problems?_ She wondered as she glanced at the first page. She had to raise an eyebrow at that._ What on earth are you doin' Natsuki?_ Confused, and quite concerned, she knew she had to get the answer. "Natsuki I need to talk to you." She opened the door without knocking, and Natsuki was in her usual spot. "What is this, and why is it in my mailbox?"

With a bored expression, Natsuki saw the folded papers and shrugged. "Math problems from Nao's teacher?"

"I know better." Shizuru replied darkly. "I'll ask you again, what is this?"

"Give me the damn thing." Natsuki sighed, pulling the letter out of Shizuru's hands. "You know I sent a letter...well, this is coded words to me. Words you wouldn't understand unless you solved the math...that's how I talk to people." Natsuki could do most of the first few problems in her head, and looked up. "He's saying he's glad to hear good news, asking if I'm being treated alright...its just an average letter."

"What did you tell this person?" Shizuru sat on the edge of Natsuki's bed. "I need to know..."

"That Nao's alive." Natsuki said defiantly. "Someone had to tell them." Exasperated, and trying to beat time, Natsuki took a risk.

"Them?" Shizuru crossed her arms. "The HiME?"

"Stop fishing around." Natsuki growled.

"You won't say anything!" Shizuru finally shouted, before her voice grew quiet again. "You won't say anything to anyone...even Nao resents that for some reason." She didn't like this, and it clawed at her mind. "If this has become a matter of safety, I will need to tell Yukino about it...if you don't talk to me, I won't have any other choice." Shizuru pressed. "My first priority is to ensure that you two are being protected, in a stable environment. If you've jeopardized that, I need to be aware of it."

"I haven't." Natsuki growled dangerously. "I'm protecting the two of you, by not saying anything, I'm doing more than you could understand."

"Then explain what you can." Shizuru urged her, feeling her chest tighten in a feeling that was not sadness nor anger. "Tell me anything at all, just give me something, Natsuki."

"You want to know who the Fuka HiME are?" She turned around, and lifted up her shirt. "You're looking at one...same with Nao, technically by blood, she's one too."

"Why do I get the feeling that you're going to cause trouble?" Natsuki recoiled from the question, and Shizuru got up, turning Natsuki to face her. "You can't hide this."

"Why do people always want to get involved with stuff they shouldn't?" Natsuki fired back, but Shizuru tightened her grip.

For a long time, they shared in a battle of unspoken wits. It was neither unkind nor unwelcome, but, it left something tangible in the air. Two gazes burned into each other, waiting for someone to crack first. Natsuki's eyes were hard, and her breathing was steady. Shizuru's were soft, but firm, and Natsuki could tell, the woman was just a little overwhelmed. Natsuki felt the tremors in Shizuru's fingers, the hold Shizuru had on her almost hurt. They couldn't keep up like this.

Natsuki couldn't take it anymore, the silence was deafening.

"Nao's mom." Natsuki said quietly, rising her hands slowly to grasp Shizuru's wrists. "It may have just looked like a domestic dispute, but it goes deeper than that." She pulled Shizuru's hands off of her, hearing the fabric of her shirt rip, but Natsuki didn't care. "Nao's mom was targeted...and so, when she went missing, we all came to the conclusion that she was too...people deserved the truth. Go ahead, call Yukino, if you really think I should be punished for that."

"Is that the only thing the letter said?" Shizuru asked one last time, her voice shaking.

"Shizuru, you're in a different world than I am...it's better if you stay there." Natsuki replied swallowing hard. "Call Yukino if you want, but I won't say anything else."

_I know I shouldn't trust her...but... _Shizuru licked her lips, and weighed her options carefully. "I won't call Yukino."

"What?" Natsuki almost didn't believe her ears.

"I don't know why you insist on turning your back on the world, but I do understand that sometimes a person can't lean on others...we don't have the luxury, even if we want it more than anything." Saying the words went against her better judgment. She knew better, and Natsuki hadn't agreed to be cooperative...that could only mean one thing. _Natsuki's not telling me everything... _Knowing that unsettled her. "I'm a risk to you. I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me. In that case, I think I'm finally understanding your situation. I only want to help, Natsuki."

"This isn't something you can help me with." Even as emerald eyes darted from Shizuru's soft gaze, the older woman didn't miss the twinge of pink that had skittered across Natsuki's face. "For your own good, and Nao's, just stay out of this."

"I can help." Shizuru told Natsuki knowingly. "I can help you by keeping quiet, and allowing you to mail things. I can be the ear you don't have...the person who gives you the freedom you obviously need...I can become a very strong ally for you, Natsuki." _Perhaps I am getting invested, but this can't simply be overlooked. Someone has to do it. _Still, her mother's words from earlier were striking into her when she thought about that. "All I ask in return is that you learn to trust me...let me into your life, even if it's just a little." If life was about risks, this was one she was willing to take.

With an unsure scowl, Natsuki's breath caught for a moment, and then she nodded. "I'll think about it."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Hey all, got back from Youmcon a few hours ago after thoroughly enjoying myself in the wonderful downtown Detroit. My list of things I did are far too long to name, but a few cool things stood out. I got glomped by three of my readers who found me, shout out to you guys, you know who you are. Also met four amazing people who I roomed with, and also got some cool knickknacks at the dealers room. All in all it was a much needed vacation from all things computer, and a great times with both friends and family alike.

Also shout out to those who joined me for the written work session out on the river walk in the wee hours of Saturday morning...I hope you'll be making FFN accounts and posting your works guys, they were really good. There was nothing more beautiful than reading our fan fiction as the sun came up...maybe, if there's enough interest, we could make it into a fan panel next year with a set time and everything? I think that would be cool.

Anyway, this chapter comes to you now in my very sleepy state...and the next chapter I've yet to really sit down and work on...yes, yes I know...bad me for having my head up my rear...anyway, I'll kindly shut up now and let you get on with the fan fiction!

A HUGE thank you to Ms Kanzaki for being the beta for this project.

I do not own Mai HiME/Mai Otome.

* * *

_**Rigged!  
Chapter 8  
(Nao's POV)**_

You'd think, after all this time, life would change drastically somehow...but it just doesn't.

I keep thinking that something will turn it upside down again. It's just a feeling in my gut. My life was never really stable when I was back in the city, well, not after...yeah...I don't want to think about that. Even so, there's somethings about Fuka that you just can't forget. I lived for the excitement, and, even though it was a thrill, I can't say I ever felt rested. Damn, never thought I would feel okay in a place like this...living with Shizuru is making me soft. It's routine, mundane, and boring as hell...I find ways to keep busy, but I can't say that Shizuru finds them amusing. Thinking about it, Natsuki doesn't either.

That idiot has been here for an entire month now...and this entire time, she hasn't made a single enemy. No brawls, no stealing...nothing. It's like she's not the same, somehow.

I know she counts down the days until she can leave. Natsuki wants to go back to the city. Until then, she just bides her time, waiting...planning...and stewing over it. She can't do much else out here, and I know that's driving her up the wall. She's built an obstacle course just to keep busy, and she trains on it every day. Sometimes I race her, and for the first time, in a long time, I feel like I was meant for something. Natsuki's training routine takes a lot out of her, and she's so fierce about it, it's like she's trying to get into the military or something.

She's training too hard, at least, if she's going to use keeping herself busy as an excuse. She's up to something and that's why I've been training too.

I don't really like being reminded about mom, but, there are times I can't avoid it. Natsuki, she triggers those moments in me the most. Our moms, and Natsuki, they trained all the time, and even though I never knew why, I always thought it was fun. To be included among them was important for me, even if I only sat on mom's back when she did pushups. Now I can appreciate that a little better. I always wondered just what sort of person my mom was, I always thought she had super powers or something...now I know it was just hard work paying off. My body hurts like hell after Natsuki's done with me, but at least I feel useful...I feel like I was meant for it.

When Shizuru's trying to help me, I feel like a piece of shit...I just can't get a good grip on things...I think that's just some sort of street mentality of mine.

What can I say? I'm worthless when it comes to books. I can fumble my way through math, I guess...I know enough science to put people to sleep, Natsuki's mom was passionate about that kind of thing...but as far as reading goes, I was never really taught how. I can read little words...easy words...but that's it. Come to think of it, I don't remember my mom ever reading to me...I wonder if she could? I'll have to ask her, when she wakes up...

If she wakes up.

Shizuru's been trying to help me learn to read, but it's one step forward, two steps back. Natsuki makes everything look so god damned easy. She's never had problems reading, it comes so naturally to her, that she's the type of person who doesn't need to think twice about it. Shizuru's also really good at it, but then again, she's good at damn near everything...not me though. I stumble over every little word. I don't know why I keep trying...I guess Natsuki's not the only one who's waiting for things to fall into place...

I'm waiting too...but for what, I just don't know yet...maybe I never will.

…

"Don't sigh like that, you're doing well." Even though Shizuru was trying to be encouraging as she did the dishes from breakfast, she couldn't help but feel as if Nao's string of invectives were somehow befitting. "Start from the top, you can do it, if you try."

"Should have started with a kiddie book." Natsuki muttered then, mostly to herself, except the other two occupants overheard.

"She doesn't need one." Shizuru said quietly, her firm belief was that Nao was entirely capable. "Don't pay her any mind." She told Nao, looking over her shoulder. "Just try again."

Nao wasn't in the mood. "Give it up." Rubbing her tired eyes, feeling overwhelmed, she couldn't look at that page any longer. "This isn't working..." _I don't need it anyway...reading is for chumps who can't figure things out on their own...what's the point of that? _Nao wanted to believe her inability would never hinder her, although deep down, she was starting to question that. _Aw, crap, there's that guilty look again_... "Hey 'Zuru, it's alright. Some people just aren't meant to read. I guess I'm just one of those."_ ...It's not that bad, I'll get on fine without it, I've done it so far._

After a few moments of deafening science, Shizuru sighed, turning off the water and drying her hands. "It's not working because you're getting frustrated." Shizuru said softly, coming around so stand behind Nao, leaning over to look at the booklet. "You have to take the sounds and characters one at a time. Look at it carefully, and break it down." She put the ruler over the other sets of kanji to keep Nao's eyes focused. "Start here, and go slow."

"Just forget it." Nao pushed the book away. _Stop kicking me when I'm down, 'Zuru...there's no point to keep trying this... _The wood under her fingertips caught her eye, the grain, now that was something she could admire. It was more tangible to her than any written word. She could describe that without having to read it. "I'm done trying to do the damn near impossible. It isn't going to work, I just can't do it. I'm done."

"No you aren't." Shizuru sighed, not allowing Nao to leave the table. "You can't give up so easily." With one hand on Nao's shoulder, and the other bracing herself as she leaned over, she looked at the black and white paper, the diagrams, and the words. "You know these words, you understand the steps. This should be fairly easy to read because of that. All you need to do is figure out what it's actually telling you. I know you can read this, if you put forth the time and the effort."

"Let her be, it isn't like she cares about it anyway." Natsuki said from her place at the kitchen table, toying with her calculator again. "She aspires to be a street rat." The comment may have been one that was inherently offhanded, but she could feel the disapproving gaze of crimson eyes boring into her. "Don't look at me that way." She looked up from her project, leaning heavily on the table. "That's all she wants to be, and as long as that's the way it is, Nao won't understand anything you're trying to teach her."

"Fuck you too." Nao spat at Natsuki, her hands curling into fists. "Spouting off about crap that you don't even know about...who do you think you are?"

"Kuga Natsuki, grade A bitch, nice to meet you." Natsuki said, putting down her pen. "What's with you Nao, can't take the truth?" She pulled the booklet out from under Shizuru's grasp. "Well here's a news flash, you'd never make it in HiME with that kind of attitude. The lifestyle would eat you alive." She thumbed though the pages. "You can't just give up whenever you want, and trust me...even I've wanted to." She slapped the booklet back onto the table. "If you can't handle a little thing like learning how to read, you're already a failure at taking instructions...you'll be worthless in HiME like that."

"Natsuki, please..." Shizuru sighed, it was bad enough Nao was already struggling. "Don't pick fights."

"Shizuru, do Nao a real favor and just shut up...you have no idea what you're talking about." Natsuki replied quietly. "This is a fight worth having...and I'm the only one who can fight it, because I'm the only one here who really knows." There was a bitter humor to that. "Think about it, this isn't a cake walk...Nao, how will you handle taking instructions from notes if you can't read? How about about working a day job? Can you fill out applications without knowing what they say...can you blend into the normal, everyday world, as you are right now?" Natsuki shook her head. "Your mom wasn't just a little street thug. She was a Fuka HiME, in the dead of night, she could take out an entire group of grown men on her own using a pairing knife and out witting them..."

"As if you would know that." Nao was the defensive, but inwardly her mind reeled. _Mom never...no, she...there's no way_. Nao sighed. "You're lying, my mom would never kill anyone."

"To protect you?!" Natsuki scowled, amazed Nao had the audacity to claim otherwise. "Yes she would!" Natsuki shouted, slamming her fists on the table. "And she did." Her voice got low, just above a whisper. "You think you understand, you little shit?"

"Natsuki, that's enough!" Shizuru ordered, cutting between them.

"No." Natsuki hissed quietly, fury dripping in every ounce of her voice. "Stay outta this one, gentleness can get her killed." Natsuki got up, pushed Shizuru away but it was with a sense loyalty and guidance that she did. "Nao doesn't understand, and you haven't lived in that world." Natsuki didn't waver beyond that, grabbing Nao by the collar, using brute force to push the younger girl down onto the floor. "There was a rule on the street for a long time...back before you and I were even born." Her voice shook, she was so angry. "You didn't dick around with the Fuka HiME...when our grandmas were alive Nao, no one screwed with them...no one ticked them off, and do you know why?"

The hard floor was pressing into her back, and once glance over at Shizuru was all that Nao needed. _Shizuru isn't going to protect me_. In fact, the woman had her eyes closed, biting her lower lip, and clutching onto the back of one of the dining chairs. _...and Natsuki's more than just a little pissed..._ Nao licked her lips and sighed. "Tell me then."

"Because they were killers when they had to be. We HiME try to live a fairly peaceful life, but when you harm one of us, you start a war with all of us..." After that, Natsuki sighed and shook her head. "That's what happened to our moms...they got tangled up in a fight, and it was pretty bad...you know what happened to mine, and Mai's...and yours." She got up off the floor with a sigh, turning her back, her voice a forced sense of emptiness. "You're not capable to stand up and fight in this...all you'll do is hold us back."

The words cut deeper than Nao knew how to deal with. "I hate you." Nao growled, retreating from the room. _Jackass...acting like she knows everything...treating me like I'm worthless..._she kicked the wall as she went upstairs, fuming the entire way. Before she went into her own room, she saw the letter and a few other things sitting on Natsuki's bed. _We can't all be like you..._her anger was tenfold, and her disgust was over the top. "They just don't get it."

"If you hate me, that's kind of funny." Natsuki said quietly, standing at the top of the stairs. "Can't say I blame you...sometimes I hate myself...but what I said before is the truth. I won't take it back." She pulled her lower lip between her teeth. "You would never make it living as a Fuka HiME."

"Why are you trying to pick a fight with me?" Nao cracked her knuckles, itching to throw a punch for those remarks.

"All I'm doing is putting a little punk in her place." Natsuki groused, her eyes narrowing. "You so much as lift that fist to me, and Shizuru will be scraping your sorry hide off the floor...I've watched you grow up since you were born...you wrapped your little hand around my fingers when you were a baby." Natsuki looked away, and cursed to herself, wondering for not the first time, how life could go so wrong so easily. "Hell, I'm the only connection you've got left to that old life...that's why I know the truth." She wanted her bike, her gun, and a way out...but she had to sit tight for now, and it was eating away at her. "Your mom wouldn't want you to be a HiME like this...why can't you understand that?"

"She wouldn't want me to regret my life, either." Nao shot back. "I feel like I'm worthless when compared to you."

"The fact you let yourself be compared to anyone at all...that's what makes you worthless." Natsuki sighed as she nodded her head towards her room, ushering Nao inside, and closing the door behind her. "You're not anyone else, and you can't try to be." She pulled the pipe out of her back pocket, and also the lighter. "Chill out and be happy you've got someone who actually gives a damn about you."

Nao blew the bangs out of her eyes, more in an effort to ignore Natsuki's tone of voice than anything. "Being a HiME is in my blood." Nao said then, putting the pipe to her lips when Natsuki gave it to her.

"So what?" Natsuki lit it for her. "Being a deadbeat is in your blood too, but you don't emulate your bastard of a father, last I checked." As soon as Nao inhaled, she started coughing, causing Natsuki to laugh. "See, you can't even smoke right."

"Shut up." Nao groused as she caught her breath.

"No, you listen..." Natsuki growled quietly. "You can't read...you can hardly write, math isn't your strong point...and instead of trying to persevere through all of it, you give up." Natsuki shrugged as she flicked the lighter again, letting Nao have another hit, that this time, she was able to hold. "What the hell kind of HiME is that?"

"I don't think my mom could do any of that either." Nao said as she released her breath. "I don't remember her being able to...maybe she wasn't some university graduate, but she still tried her best."

"Yeah, well you can stop trying to be like your mom." Natsuki said quietly taking a hit off of it for herself. "Her best is is still way ahead of you at this rate." Natsuki said quietly. "She was stronger than you, faster, could throw a punch better...and on top of all of that, she knew what her weaknesses were, and she tried to fix them to the best of her ability. You two are nothing alike...anyway, I've got something else we need to talk about." She licked her lips and looked over cautiously. "Yamada finally contacted me about three weeks ago." She nodded over to the papers on her bed. "Shizuru found out about it, but I figured she would..."

"You can trust her." Nao said then, going over to the bed, trying to make sense of the written characters on the paper. "She may not like it, but, she's not the type of person to go telling on other people without good reason." She couldn't even read Natsuki's handwriting. "I doubt she'd betray that."

"First of all, there is no 'we' in this." Natsuki said abruptly. "Secondly, I already know that, she told me so herself...and that little show just now proved it. She can deal with the truth." Natsuki had come to her conclusion, but it wasn't one she stood by easily. "I plan on having a good long talk with her, at least...about some things." She pulled out a hair tie and sighed. "Before I can do that, you need to figure out what you really want...somehow, I think all of that bullshit you spew isn't actually true, and you need to figure that out."

"I know where I stand." Nao crossed her arms, gearing up for another fight. "It's not your place to decide."

"Hey, cool it." Natsuki shoved the shorter girl in the shoulder. "I'm not trying to insult you, I'm trying to help." Not all of the code was for Natsuki, and after some thought, Natsuki decided to give Nao a proper choice in the matters that she didn't fully understand. "I didn't think it would be a big deal to tell Mai that you were okay, but, I guess she took some things to heart." Natsuki came over to the bed, flipping through some of the papers, coming to one that wasn't like the others. "She intended this for you." Natsuki looked at Nao expectantly, but when the redhead frowned, she couldn't help but feel bad for the girl. "I guess you really will need to learn how to read...or have someone read it for you."

Nao took hold of the paper, but she couldn't make heads to tails of it. "Why are you all so insistent about this crap?"

"This life is hard." Natsuki said then, a quiet bite in her tone. "Making good on my promises...it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do...and it's only going to get worse from here on out. I'm okay with that, because I accepted the difficulty, and even now, though all of the bad times, I still want it on my shoulders. I feel as if it's my cross to bear." It was second nature to her, but she knew it wasn't going to be so easy for Nao. "The Fuka HiME isn't made for everyone, and I think Mai finally learned that. She went home, Nao...she's with Takumi. Mai's not in HiME anymore, at least, she's not an active member."

"What about Takumi?" Nao asked then, her mind racing. "Doesn't she need them for his protection?"

"She'll be moving out of her house soon...her dad and brother are going some place that's better for Takumi's health, and Mai decided that she'd rather be by his side, than fleshing out a living as a Fuka HiME...my mom always said that the Tokiha women were better off in the kitchen like proper wives, than ascending to head the clan." Natsuki didn't bother to say that Mai was going into hiding, Nao could tell. "Still, Mai wanted to try, and I think she's learned why her mom never gave her the tattoo...I kind of regret inking her, but it was a life she had to choose."

"I think it's stupid that you let her have the chance to prove herself." Nao had always been jealous of Mai for that, if nothing else. "Out of everyone, you knew Mai would scrub out...yet you don't give me a change in hell."

"I told you, if you want to be a HiME, at least wait until you're sixteen." As an afterthought, Natsuki regarded the letter in Nao's hand. "You should have Shizuru read that to you."

"Why can't you?" Nao asked, her tone bordering on worried. "You're the HiME member, not her."

"You don't get it." Natsuki said coolly, her eyes unwavering as she hardened them at Nao. "I can't help you through it." Natsuki said quietly.

"When in the hell have you ever helped me?" Nao grumbled.

"You ungrateful little...do you really think that?" Natsuki laughed while shaking her head. "God, I really hate you." Still, Natsuki couldn't deny it, she had been keeping Nao at arms length from everything she'd ever wanted. "Still, what I said stands...you're too young right now...you'll stick out like the kid you look like...if you want to be a Fuka HiME, you'll consider taking Mai up on her offer." Natsuki's words cut to the core of the matter. "Then, after a few years, you could have someone pick you up, and then go live your life the way you want...it wouldn't be all that difficult for you to get back with the group once you're inside city limits...and Mai's dad would support you in ways Shizuru never could."

"Why are you doing this?" Nao asked, still unclear.

"If you want to be a HiME, you'll forge that path on your own." Natsuki murmured then. "No one else can do it for you...but you've gotta be able to take the heat, and be willing to dish it out."

…

Shizuru glanced at the letter, and her gut tightened. "Are you sure?" She already dreaded reading aloud. "These words, they won't be easy to hear, Nao." The words on the paper had several uncomfortable topics. She knew Nao wouldn't likely make it through the entire thing, and she gulped down her urge to just tell the girl to forget about it.

"Natsuki won't." Nao swallowed hard. "She told me you had to do it."

Shizuru sighed, and steadied herself. "Come here." The murmur was low as she put one arm around Nao to hold her close, as if somehow the action would keep the girl calm. Then, she began to read. "It's been a long time, hasn't it, Nao?" She paused, glancing into uncertainty that lingered in lime green eyes before continuing. "I'm glad you're alright, though you should have told me. I guess I can understand why you didn't, but I'm glad everything is working out for you. I wanted to tell you a few things in person, but I don't think we're going to get to see each other again for a long time, so, maybe we could be pen pals? I would like that, and I'm sure Takumi would too." The words seemed almost heavy, and Shizuru wondered just what sort of person wrote it. Nao's lack of response gave no hint. "A lot has happened since we last shared words, it's all so overwhelming, really."

With a breath, Shizuru paused, and Nao frowned. "Keep going."

Shizuru nodded and continued. "Takumi's finally has a new heart, and his body hasn't rejected it yet, so we're taking that as a good sign. After his rehabilitation, we're moving out of Fuka for good. It would be better for all of us to put the past behind us, and dad thinks we should go someplace that's better for Takumi's heath. I couldn't agree more, and I don't want to stay here in Fuka anymore either...my dad's offer still stands, Nao. I know Natsuki doesn't want to, but you could come live with us. My dad could adopt you, and you could have a real home again. That's got to be better than living in foster care, right?" Shizuru paused when Nao tensed up, and she folded the paper. "Nao, some of this mentions your mother, are you sure you want me to read it?"

"No...don't even look at it." Nao grabbed at it, crumpling it up in her hands and sighing. "I know what Mai wants to say." There it was, her chance to be a HiME, but, it came as an empty promise, and Nao knew she wouldn't be able to claw her way through it the same way Natsuki had. Again, feeling compared to the other members, knowing that she wasn't strong enough caused pain in her chest. "Natsuki's right, I'll never get to be a HiME this way." Her voice shook, and she hid her face in her hands. "I'm just not good enough...no matter what I do, I'll never be good enough."

Shizuru could tell that Nao didn't notice the tears were slipping between her fingers that hid her face, nor that her stifled sobs were shaking her body. There wasn't a good way to say it. "Mai thinks you should visit your mother, and then go live with them." She was at a loss, having never seen Nao do something quite like this.

"It doesn't matter." Nao started to curl into herself, but that just made it easier for Shizuru to hold her closer. "She's not going to wake up." Her body felt cold, even though her tears were hot. "What's the point?" All she could do was shake. "Damn it."

"The point is that you've got to let go." Natsuki had been watching from the doorway, a pack of smokes in hand. With her eyes firmly on Shizuru, she wagged the box a bit in the air, and pointed to Nao. "No one else can do that for you." She pulled the plastic wrapping off, and ripped the foil on the inside and took one out, lighting it before plopping down next to Nao on the sofa. "What kind of life can you live, if all you do is wait for her to open her eyes?"

Shizuru wasn't about to ask where Natsuki had gotten that second pack from, and when the scent filled her nose, she wasn't in the least bit pleased. It was the worry that overtook her anger by storm. "What are you doing?" She barely mouthed the words, but Natsuki just shrugged.

"Watch and learn." Natsuki's reply was also inaudible as she put her hand on Nao's shoulder, and slipped the cigarette between her lips. "Those things will end up killing ya, you know." It was a phrase spoken by memory only, but it meant the world between the two of them.

"If it kills me, light one by my photograph every day." Nao wondered how she had the strength to say the words. The effect was almost instant, as she watched the smoke twirl from the tip.

"Only if you'll put a glass of wine in front of mine." Natsuki replied quietly, ruffling Nao's hair as she pulled out her pipe. "Pretty funny that out of everything we remember, it's the stupid little things that anyone else would forget." Rolling her eyes, Natsuki had to admit, it was like a tiny bit of poison seeped out of her, just by saying those words at all. "Still, those are the types of things that mean the most."

"Yeah..." Even if she agreed to it, the only thing she could really do was let her mind drift off. Shizuru was warm, the cigarette tasted good, and Natsuki's hand on her head was enough to lull any thoughts she might have had into a muddled string of things she could hardly think of, let alone process. The feeling was weird to her, her first instinct to push them both away curbed by her mind. It was moving slower than normal, and she just didn't have any desire to think clearly anymore. She wanted to rest, and even when a few ashes fell on her hand, she made no real acknowledgment of it.

At that moment, it just didn't matter as she closed her eyes with a sigh.

…

_My room? _It didn't seem right at first. _Hmm, must have fallen asleep. _She was sure that the last place she'd closed her eyes had been the sofa. In fact, she could still taste smoke from earlier. She rolled over, but no matter what she tried to do, she couldn't help it. What the hell is that? There was a sound, coming from outside. _Jesus...what the hell are they doing at this hour? It was accompanied by voices too_. Motionless, she listened, hoping to hear something juicy. Instead, it was only Natsuki and Shizuru bickering. Still, she could hear them, and whatever noise it was that seemed to frequently cut through the otherwise quiet air.

"That is against the town's ordinance." Shizuru was displeased.

"I don't particularly care what that dumb thing says." Natsuki didn't even seem phased, though she did sound winded. "Besides, do you see the night sky? It's too beautiful to just spend time under the stars...you don't get sights like this in the city."

"Natsuki, the fine for something like this is actually quite expensive...not to mention, the entire nature of setting things on fire isn't exactly safe." Between Shizuru's words, the sound persisted...a scraping noise of sorts.

"Relax, it's just a hole, we can always fill it back in later if we have to." Metal upon a rough surface...it masked Natsuki's voice, even if only a little. "Who are we hurting by doing this?" Her panting breath was enough of an answer. "I don't think the people around here will care what you do in your backyard."

_What the hell am I missing out on? _She rubbed her sleepy eyes and went over to her window, looking out at the lantern that Natsuki had probably taken out of Shizuru's camping gear. _Heh, from this angle, they look like a married couple_. Nao thought to herself. There was a sizable hole in the ground now, and Natsuki wasn't done yet, though she leaned heavily on the shovel. _Idiots... _Nao could see them side by side, the dim light flickering a shadowed light around them. _Can't they last one day without fighting?_

Shizuru was in her pajamas, covered by her housecoat, a bored, slightly aggravated look wasn't one she hid well. "That much is obvious, but regardless Natsuki, a fire pit isn't allowed in these parts." Her voice was drawling in a way that spoke of her desire for sleep, one that had likely been disturbed.

"Know what?" Natsuki was dressed in a pair of blue pants, the black numbers marked them...her white shirt was covered in dirt. "I get it now. Your problem is that you're too uptight...go drink some tea or something...get yourself in a good mood, then come back and watch the stars."

"Amusing, your temper is easier to provoke than mine is." Shizuru was not to be toyed with, especially not after having been woken up before the light of day. "You really want to just sit our here and look up at the stars?"

"Well, yeah...I told you we used to do that, didn't I?" It was a soft chuckle as Natsuki let herself fall backwards and onto the dirt mound she had been making. "It's interesting to think about...those stars have stories. Like Aquila...that was pet eagle that Zeus had." Natsuki put her hands behind her head, gazing up at the twinkling little lights. "Or, what about the story of Orion, he was the great hunter, do you know about him?"

"I'm afraid I don't." Shizuru sat down as well. "My father wasn't a scholar, he was a man who saw the world in terms of money and propriety." Shizuru laughed a little at that, wondering how come he was always so stern about the tiniest things. "My mother is rather fond of stories, but, nothing quite like that."

"Yeah, well then, you missed out." Natsuki shrugged. "There's all sorts of stories in that sky...some of them are pretty cool, actually."

_What is it with those two? _Nao wondered to herself, mostly bored. _First they fight...and now they do...what the hell are they doing? _She yawned, and smirked to herself. _Don't tell me they're actually getting along! Kinda stupid...but hell, if it makes them happy...whatever. _Still, she opened up the screen to her window, shouting out to the women below. Time to go crash in on that party of theirs. She thought to herself as she was already out of her room and rushing down the stairs. Natsuki was right...the night was too beautiful to take for granted. Nao didn't intend to.

When she reached the door that led out to the back, she grabbed her coat, it was a little chilly. "Hey, Natsuki, tell her the story about Atlach-Nacha."

"Why that one?" Natsuki asked as she sat up. "It's twisted, and not to mention, Cthulhu...I hate Cthulhu stories...besides it has nothing to do with the constellations."

"That's why I like it!" Nao laughed. "Go on, tell it."

"Uh yeah, nice try, but that's not happening. I am not telling Shizuru about a story that involves a spider with a human face..." Natsuki rolled her eyes. "How about something Celtic, or Greek, or Nordic...or failing that, how about...you know, something normal?"

"Go ahead Natsuki, if she wants to hear that one, why not enlighten me." Shizuru said, and Natsuki hesitantly nodded.

"Alright well, basically Atlach-Nacha was a big spider, with a face that appeared human. It lived inside of a cavern that was buried deep within a mountain..." As Natsuki told the story, one that Nao hadn't heard in a long time, she had to admit there was a little comfort to it. Nao and Shizuru listened intently under the night sky, and even though the story wasn't about the stars, Natsuki noticed the hints of innocence and memory in Nao's eyes. It was distant, but not so long ago, when they would camp out near the observatory. Those lime orbs just watched the sky blankly, a depth that Nao didn't often exhibit...a peaceful, calm one.

If it was the stories Natsuki told, simply nostalgia, or just the clam night around them...no one really knew why, it just seemed like a good idea to stay up all night, watching the stars. _I almost forgot what this was like_. Nao thought to herself, as she fell prey to the words she knew so well.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: It's been busy, but it's finally time to get back on track.

Thank you to Ms Kanzaki for continuing to be the beta for this ongoing project.

I do not own Mai HiME/Mai Otome.

* * *

_**Rigged!  
Chapter 9  
(Natsuki POV)**_

Maybe I'm too hard on Nao, I've been thinking about that a lot...

She doesn't get how nice it is to just kick back, relax, and have nothing to worry about. I wish she wouldn't take that for granted. Nao's fortunate to have a place like this to grow up. She's so unbelieved lucky. Nao doesn't see it that way, but it's true. Shizuru isn't like most people. She's not condescending, and she's not an idiot. She's a little weird, and she worries over stupid little things...but I guess that's just her way. Her voice and actions are soft, but meaningful...and, she's kind of tough too.

You can't break a woman like her easily, there's a lot of merit to that.

Getting on Shizuru's bad side early on wasn't exactly the smartest idea I've ever had in my life, but, it was worth it. She's a good person, and, she genuinely wants to help...though, I think that's a little foolish when it comes down to just what sort of people we are. We're different, and she's enthralled by that. I guess, I can understand. I've been in that kind of mindset before. Wanting to help others, and having no idea how I could even be useful, let alone to actually become a worthy asset to a team.

I think, to some small degree, Shizuru's just trying to protect Nao, and maybe even me. I know that at the end of the day, I can trust her. I can talk to her, and there would be no need to watch out for her. She wouldn't betray me, I can see that much in her eyes. Since Shizuru wants me to open up, I've been thinking about it. I don't know if it would actually do any good, but, at least it won't do any harm.

Besides, I owe it to Shizuru, and I don't like being in debt.

Yukino came by to check in, I hate surprise visits. Shizuru acted very calm, she wasn't bothered by it...to be honest, I thought she was going to rat me out...but, she didn't. I waited to hear anything that might be the truth, but Shizuru dodged the questions expertly. She answered them in such a way, that my reactions seemed harmless. She said nothing about my letters, or the fact that in my first few weeks I had a habit of trying to handle her violently...she just said that I was acting like an average teenage girl, basically. Yukino inquired about the yard, and let's face it, it's not the way it used to be. Shizuru even averted that better than I ever could have, calling my training course a pet project of hers, a way to keep Nao busy...that was actually pretty brilliant, seeing as she came up with it on the fly.

Shizuru even let me keep the fire pit, though, we have to put a bunch of wood planks over the hole when we're not using it...something about keeping it hidden, I don't think it's a big deal, but if it makes her happy, I'll do it. I've been thinking that a lot. What makes her happy? I don't know if I think about it out of some weird sense of obligation, or, if I just want to see her that way...watching her smile just seems right somehow. Being here, with her, it makes the time that goes by a lot more bearable.

Five months left to go...it gives me time to think things over, so I don't mind...it's better to go back to Fuka with a good plan anyway. I might not ever get a chance to have time like this again.

…

"She's not a baby." Natsuki said conversationally, doing a standard oil change one afternoon in the shop. "She grew up between a rock and a hard place...by the time you got to her, she was already jaded." Natsuki had been attempting to ease that worry that seemed to remain like a shadow over Shizuru's mind, at least a little bit. "Sometimes, you've got to get a little rough with her. That's all she understands."

"I get the feeling a lot of you are like that." Shizuru said softly, cleaning some of the tools they used. "To be honest, I don't quite see how on earth a person such as yourself, possibly ends up in one of these situations." She paused, a torque wrench in hand. "Natsuki, please don't misinterpret this, but, why are you-" It was hard to say, so Shizuru just shook her head. "Never mind, that's likely a question you would deem too personal."

Natsuki could see it in Shizuru's eyes when she looked up from her work. "Probably because I'm smart enough to survive it." Natsuki shrugged, her smirk a bit deprecating. "When I was Nao's age, I could keep up with adults. I began to understand their world. It just so happened that the type of person I wanted to be, was a lot more complicated than I thought."

"Isn't it always?" The question was like an echo. Shizuru had to wait for a while.

Natsuki didn't answer quickly. Instead, she mulled it over. "Their lives were filled with science, guns, and everything that questions how people normally live their lives." At that Natsuki averted Shizuru's gaze, and went back to work. "I wasn't really as prepared as I thought...and, what Nao doesn't get, is that I really shouldn't be involved either. I just got mixed up, I can't back out now."

"Then how can you continue on?" Cleaning the equipment was easily abandoned when Shizuru came around to meet Natsuki's gaze again. "How on earth could you do...well, what ever it is that you're doing, if you can't agree with it?"

Natsuki's emerald eyes hardened for only a moment and then she looked away away again. "You wouldn't want to know."

"Is it honor?" Shizuru asked then, to which Natsuki turned her back under the guise of putting away a few items. She didn't respond and that unspoken answer was telling enough. "A sense of loyalty then?" Natsuki ignored that too, instead, she finished the oil change and slammed down the hood of the car. "Revenge?"

"Peace of mind." Natsuki whispered, the words almost a liability. "Some sense of security." There was clanking from another work room, a distant typing coming from the office window, and even chatter from across the street. "To sleep soundly at night." Among all of that the room was still too quiet. Natsuki's mind tried to carry her away. _Even if I can trust Shizuru, why even say these pointless things? _Her mind was scattered, because she'd never said something quite like that before, not to an outsider. _She can't change the past, and the future isn't a guarantee, so what's the point of trying to comfort another person?_ Natsuki wondered to herself, wishing she knew Shizuru's real motive, but she came up empty. _She has no reason to help me..._

Silence lingered between them, and though Natsuki's back was turned, Shizuru could feel a cold tension slither away. "Oh, Natsuki..."

"Don't feel bad about it." It was draining on the emotions. "You asked a question, and I answered you." Natsuki felt frayed, but kept that inside. "It's that simple."

"I-" There wasn't really anything Shizuru could say to that. "I suppose it is." The idea was difficult to wrap her head around. "It's always easy to pretend, Natsuki. At least then you don't have to face what you don't want to."

"What?" Natsuki's soft voice was a challenge, as she turned to face Shizuru. "I'm talking to you. That's what you wanted, not me." Natsuki's breath caught though, when she realized just what was hiding in those crimson eyes. _You take every little thing to heart, don't you? You're one of those people. _Natsuki thought as she laughed with a hint of bitterness. "You can't save the world, Shizuru...sometimes, you can't even save the people who need you the most." She let her eyes fall to the other work room. Midori was teaching Nao about something, judging by the noise and cursing. "So, you nod your head, and agree to wade through the shit, and eventually fix what you screwed up. You can't feel bad for a person who made a choice willingly."

At that, Natsuki turned back to sign some paperwork about the car she'd just fixed, and then walked over to her work station, sitting down on the stool. Shizuru followed suit, and they were eye to eye again. Natsuki was clearly uncomfortable about it, but she didn't move either. Carefully, Shizuru began to speak, unsure of what her words might dig up. "It sounds to me as if that's rehearsed. It's as if you've said it before." Shizuru could see the glimmer of recognition. "I wonder, what type of person you'd even need to say that to, besides myself."

"Back in Fuka, I had a friend...a really good friend." Natsuki said, her tone just as cautious. "Mai and I got along so well, that she had a hold on me. She kept me grounded, when nothing else could keep us sane, Mai was our voice of reason. She was a HiME too, but she wasn't a fighter...she couldn't even throw a punch without feeling bad about it." Natsuki shrugged, it was all water under the bridge. "Mai coddled Nao like an older sister, but...for me she was..." Natsuki shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

"It does." Shizuru's answer came all too quickly. "I can hear it in your voice. She was very important to you. She wasn't just a friend." When Natsuki looked up, Shizuru could see clearly just how deep that relationship had been. With a sense of urgency, she leaned onto the table a little bit, keeping her voice hushed. "You didn't happen to share in relations...did you?"

"Now that topic is strictly off limits." Natsuki told Shizuru pointedly with a glare. "Like I said, it doesn't matter anyway." The blush on her face was a dead giveaway though. "Mai was more into guys, and there was a boy she liked from a good family...he's a bit of an idiot, but she belongs with him. He's a safe bet...and, I'm not."

"You're a gamble?" Shizuru was purely curious, but as Natsuki's eyes darkened, Shizuru realized she might have tumbled into a minefield. "You...you are." That bothered her, but she merely licked her lips to steady herself. "Alright then." Her throat was dry, and there was no water nearby, so her voice grew a bit scratchy. "Could you at least tell me why?"

"There are a few gangs in Fuka, but, the clan lords run things with an iron fist. Even if we have a few turf disputes here and there, everyone knows their place. It came with a lot of bloodshed several generations ago." Natsuki explained as she looked down at the metal trim around the table, picking at grime to clear it away. "Well because of those fights, it was stable in the city." It gave her something to focus on, and she wanted that desperately. "Fairly recently, a fourth group made themselves known...they're the ones who are picking off the HiME members one by one. It's being done with a precision that as a clan, we've never seen before. First, it was Mai's mom, then it was mine...finally, they got sloppy, and Nao's mom survived the attack, not to mention injuring one of their own. After we swept the area, we found DNA...and thus, who was orchestrating the attacks."

"Natsuki, that doesn't make any sense." Shizuru didn't understand, the ideals were lost on her. "Why would they do that?"

Natsuki carefully looked up, Shizuru sat trapped by what Natsuki was saying. A mild mortification seemed to linger in her eyes, even if it didn't show on her face as she waited for Natsuki to continue. "They're trying to kill our clan leader, whose family has been a member of HiME the longest. If they do that, the other branch families will fall apart while struggling for dominance. They can't pinpoint where she is, because she dresses and acts like a man to avoid being caught. As long as she stays alive, we have a real chance to take out these bastards." At that, she was acutely reminded of the calendar, and cursed under her breath. "Until we can make a move, we're all hiding."

"Even you?" Somehow, Shizuru found that hard to believe.

"Even me." Natsuki nodded. "I allowed myself to get caught into police custody so I could bide my time safely." At the admission, the grains in the wood were interesting again, and she traced them with her fingers. "It was either that, or take my chances on the streets with hardly any cover or backup." Natsuki sighed, she knew how it sounded. "I may be a good fighter, but I'm not stupid."

"So, the theft was faked?" Shizuru shook her head. "Natsuki, that..." Shizuru couldn't find the words.

"I know...and I think deep down, Yukino knows I planned it too. She pretty much told me so herself, in her own discrete way." Natsuki sighed. "The time I have left staying with you may not be enough...or failing that, it may be too much." There wasn't any easy way to say it. "As soon as I'm told to bust out of here, I'm gone...I can't put my gun down until things are safe again...that's just how it is." She looked up, trying to gauge the emotion in Shizuru's eyes, but she couldn't place it this time. "These guys aren't pushovers. I have no idea what my future will be...so yeah, I guess I am a gamble."

…

The admittance was enough to keep the air uneasy around them even late into the evening. A tightly bound package had come, and so, after Nao went to bed, they sat looking at the square, wrapped parcel. With a knife, Natsuki cut open the unmarked box, taking off the wrapping with ease. Carefully peeking inside, she held the flap shut with her hand as soon as she saw some of the gear. "What you're about to see stays strictly between us." Natsuki murmured as she saw Shizuru nod in agreement. "I'm not kidding." She told Shizuru one more time with a sigh. "Not a soul."

When she opened the box, she pulled out the innocent items first. A cell phone, an address book filled with numbers, and a set of keys. Those items could easily be shrugged off, but what came next, had Natsuki filled with apprehension. There were sets of blades, made to be carried around the ankle and thigh, four knives in all. A modified gun she'd seen before also graced her more than capable hands. A clip of already prepared darts came with it. "Well, it's a start." Natsuki said softly while examining it, then she put it on the table for Shizuru to look at. "Here, it's a tranquilizer gun...it can't kill a person efficiently, but it'll knock them out for a few hours...my heavy weaponry is likely up at the warehouse."

"I don't want firearms in my house." Shizuru said quietly. "Knives I can somehow justify, given they look no more dangerous than the ones I cook with...however a gun is an entirely different matter."

"If you shoot someone, they go to sleep. That's all, so, it's not a big deal." Natsuki replied then. "Yes, in large doses, it may kill a person, but you'd have to lodge several of these things into a person to do that...this is harmless, but the protection it provides is without a doubt a complete necessity." Then she looked outside, a few things didn't make sense, she expected to see a shining new bike that went with the keys someplace along the property. _Hmm, well, if Yamada is anything, he's crafty. It's probably tucked away someplace_. She thought as her mind skimmed over the possibilities. She couldn't deal with Shizuru's eyes boring into her like that so she tried to change the subject. "Hey, come on, let's go outside and take a walk, my Ducati is probably hidden somewhere. I'll be willing to bet more gear is with it."

"That is not funny." Shizuru said quietly. "You shouldn't make idle jokes."

"Yeah, I guess you wouldn't like it, even if it is the truth." Natsuki shrugged.

"I believe I already know this answer, but, is there any possible way I can convince you to just stop fighting?" Shizuru wanted that the most, in a way she couldn't make heads or tails of.

"If you know the answer, I won't say it." Natsuki said. _I don't think she could ever understand it but... _With an inward sigh, Natsuki just kept looking outside. "Come on, let's go build a fire." She didn't wait for Shizuru's agreement. If the woman didn't join her, that was Shizuru's prerogative. At first, Natsuki was alone, stacking the wood and kindling she needed, but after the fire began to smolder and take flame, Shizuru came outside. "Decided you could take the heat after all, huh?" Natsuki murmured to her.

"You have your reasons, Natsuki." Shizuru felt defeated, because she knew there wasn't much she could do to help. "I doubt I could ever come to terms with the facts of your life. You're so different, and still, you don't seem as if you belong in a gang. When you act like this, it's impossible to tell." Still, the reality was inside, sitting on the table. "I can't accept it, not easily."

"Listen, I don't plan on staying with the HiME for my entire life...but, if I don't do at least this much, I'd be letting my mom down." Natsuki had taken a few of the bags that had the lawnmower grass inside and she tossed them out of the barrel. She sat on one while poking the fire, inviting Shizuru to use the other one. "What about you, you're still young. Are you telling me that this is how you want to spend the rest of your life?"

"I don't mind living here. I like it." Shizuru's said then, leaning back a little bit. "I haven't said this to Nao, because I think that she needs to build her own path in life. However, I would like it if she stayed with me until she grows up. Nao can't adapt to a new home without major setbacks." When she looked up at the stars, she almost wished that Natsuki would tell her more stories, they were one of the few things that made Natsuki carefree, and that was a fleeting gift. "I'm not so picky about the home in which I live, provided that the people I care about are around me." Feeling enough at ease in front of the fire, Shizuru gave thought to Natsuki's original question. "In the far reaching future, I would like to settle down, and raise a family of my own."

"Why haven't you?" Natsuki asked then. "You seem like the type who wants kids running all over the place."

"No, not that many. Just one or two, Natsuki." Shizuru said quietly. "However, I'm inclined to wait at least a few more years. Nao probably wouldn't like it if I brought someone home, let alone small children running around. Right now, she's my first priority."

"She tolerates more from you than she does from anyone else I know." Then, Mai flashed into her mind, and Natsuki frowned. "Except for Mai...Nao would listen to Mai really well...she'd do whatever Mai told her, back when she was younger." At that, Natsuki tossed another plank of wood onto the fire. "Anyway, I don't think Nao would care if you found yourself a boyfriend...she might torment the guy, or something...but, that's Nao for you. Deep down, I don't think she would really care."

"That's also part of the problem." The words fell from her lips so fast, she couldn't catch them in time. "That preconceived notion isn't true. There are many nice men that live in the area, but, I have no interest in them." She'd only made the vocal admittance about herself once before, as a teen. "The idea of being with a man bothers me, and it isn't as if there are many women around here." The rest of the time, people either seemed to guess, or they remained oblivious. "I don't have many opportunities to meet others such as myself, so it doesn't particularly matter."

"The way you say that, makes it sound like you've never been in love before." Natsuki rolled onto her side, using her arm to rest her head. "In the city, that's more common I guess...or at least because the area is more densely populated, you have more chances at meeting a person you can connect with." She couldn't deny it. She missed Mai. She missed the smell of gun powder, and the feeling of another body pressed into hers. The shared warmth, fears, and even tangled embraces. "I'm probably never going to be that close with someone ever again."

"Natsuki, stay here." Shizuru sighed then. "With Nao and I."

"Why would I want to do...oh." The words died in her throat. _Oh, that's not good_... The request while innocent enough, held its own hints of something under the surface. Natsuki's ears could pick that up anywhere. She didn't know what it meant though. "Don't say weird things like that."

Shizuru could detect the small hints of discomfort, and merely shrugged. "I just think you'd benefit from it, that's all." Shizuru told her quietly. "If you find my opinion to be an oddity, that's likely because you're still getting used to the way things are out here."

Natsuki scowled, a bit confused. "Are you sure that's the only reason?" She didn't believe it.

"What other reason would I have?" She made the mistake of offering Natsuki a sideways glance that was far too short for its own good. "You seem at ease, and with a bit of time to adjust, I think you could make a fairly good life for yourself away from the city streets."

Now Natsuki was sure her eyes weren't deceiving her. "You're good at hiding things, and covering over the truth, but you suck at trying to outright lie about things like this." She sat up and leaned over, covering Shizuru's view of the stars so that they were face to face. "I'm not the type of person you should get involved with. Stay away from me, for your own good."

Shizuru licked her lips. "I have no idea what you mean."

"Yes, you do." Natsuki said then, a bit concerned when she saw Shizuru waver. "This isn't a game you want to play." Natsuki didn't know what to say to make things easier, and she had no firm line she could draw this time, not with the way they were so close, but so far away. "Don't get close to me."

With a sigh, Shizuru accepted it, she couldn't thwart Natsuki's beseeching gaze. "You're quite close right now, Natsuki."

"Not close enough for you." Natsuki murmured. "I'm a gamble Shizuru...you don't have what it takes to ante up."

…

Shizuru hadn't admitted it that night, but Natsuki could tell. For the first time, she'd seen Shizuru in an entirely new way. Natsuki normally made a habit of rationing her pot, rarely using what little she kept on hand. Today, she couldn't seem to get enough. She was stirring the inside of her pipe, searching for any more resin that she could partake of. There wasn't much left. She watched as a familiar car pulled into the drive way. Shizuru's mom came to visit... Natsuki wasn't particularly bothered at first, considering that the woman normally made herself scarce in the kitchen or living room. After a short time though, she heard footsteps that were unlike the normal ones.

The knock on the door was different too, and the voice. "May I come in?"

"Whatever." Natsuki called out, it was the best invitation she was willing to offer to the stranger that she normally avoided.

When the door opened, a woman a little taller than Shizuru, wiser by far, and more free spirited seemed to not think twice as she opened and closed the door behind her. She even lacked Shizuru's careful motions, favoring instead to just come and sit by Natsuki's side. Even while mostly uninvited, it was clear she wasn't going to tiptoe around, and that made Natsuki just the slightest bit edgy. "If you scowl like that, I'll assume you're some sort of feral animal." Suzume told the agitated girl. "You should calm down, unless you truly see me as a threat."

"What do you want?" Natsuki asked then, her gaze unrelenting.

"Merely to understand why my daughter seems so transfixed with you." Her words were soft enough to take the edge out of Natsuki's glare. "It takes a great deal to make her respond to anything or anyone. You've done that in such a way that she can't think clearly. She's bothered and awed by the truths you seem to bring to light." They hit hard enough to replace that threatening gleam with a feeling of guilt that clearly showed. "To be honest, I don't know if I should slap you, or to thank you."

Natsuki knew what this was about, but it wasn't as if she had anything to say. "I told her to back off, and she didn't." Apologies were too soft. "So, I figured if I let her in a little, she'd feel disgusted and she'd leave me alone." Threats were nothing more than idle rage Natsuki couldn't keep. "It's not my fault that she decided to get closer than she should have."

"It would be too much to ask of you, to acknowledge feelings that you don't return." Suzume explained having come to her own conclusion about the matter. "However, Shizuru has continuously struggled with the romantic side of herself for several years. To see Shizuru struggle for the first time as a proper woman, is in its own way, a blessing she will only understand later. After much reflection and time to deal with the matter. She has to come to terms with reality, whatever that may be." As the woman stood, and paused, before sighing. "You are everything my daughter says that you are. I've yet to decide if that's a good thing, or a bad thing."

"Well, what the hell do you want me to do?" Natsuki muttered, a soft tinge of pink on her face was enough to make her look away, and out to the world that lingered outside. "Getting close will only hurt her, especially when I leave...I've already hurt someone like that once, I won't do it again."

"Let her be hurt, Natsuki. If that's the lesson you teach her, so be it. She'll learn it either way." Suzume said quietly. "People we care about come and go...sometimes, they come back, other times, they never return." The words casually slipped from her lips. "She told me that you're unable to back out from your obligation, whatever that may be..."

"She's right...and that's why it's better if she maintains her distance." Natsuki explained. "Even if I wanted to get close to someone else, the pain I would eventually cause isn't worth it...I just don't have it in me right now to do something like that...maybe I never will again. I don't know, and right now, it's better not to think about it."

"I won't argue that having a strong sense of duty must come before impulsive behavior." Suzume nodded. "You should consider Shizuru's position in all of this. She has an obligation to you as well, so perhaps developing feelings for you is the only thing she can do. Maybe getting hurt is the only way she can let you go, as you want her to do...then again, maybe she wants nothing more than to await your return. You'll never really know what awaits for you, if you don't amuse personal whims."

…

She couldn't concentrate, her throws felt off, and her shoulder was beginning to hurt.

The blade was sharp, her senses even sharper than that, as she examined them with the deadly accuracy expected after several years of throwing them around. She preferred her guns, but she couldn't exactly train with those when she had such little ammunition to begin with. In the dead of night, she'd crept outside, using the trunk of a nearby tree as a target. In her mind's eye, it wasn't so much a tree, as it was a shadow that she knew to be a threat...her threat, her war. One she would lose if she didn't take great care to hone each and every one of her skills. The obstacle course was really only one thing of many that she knew she'd need to continue.

Still, the target she's made with some spray paint seemed to taunt her as she pulled the knives out of the tree. "Shit." She knew she was rusty, but she hadn't even hit the mark once. "Zero out of four." The fact that it was night time was part of the problem. It was hard to aim with the low visibility. "With those odds, I'm as good as dead."

"Natsuki, it won't do you any good to practice if all you do is wear yourself out." Shizuru sighed, having watched Natsuki repeat this routine for several hours in a row now. "Come inside, have something warm to eat."

"Not right now." Natsuki said, going back to her position. "I have to improve, and I don't have all the time in the world to do it, either." Her first toss landed in the grass, it missed the tree entirely landing with a muted thud. "Watching me throws off my concentration." The other tries weren't any better either. She was getting worse as the night went on, she refused to give up. Exhausted, she went to go gather the knives, but Shizuru had already begun collecting them. "Don't be like that...you know I've got to do this."

"I can't let you." Shizuru told her, refusing to hand Natsuki the weapons. "Eat, and then get some rest. You can come back out here tomorrow if you really must."

"You really want to get involved?" Natsuki shook her head, she couldn't believe it. "Shizuru, there's no way in hell that you can keep worrying about me." This was the second night that they shared a face down, and in was in a row at that. This time, it was Shizuru who toyed relentlessly with the lack of distance between them. "It isn't good for you, and besides, you've said it before. Nao's your first priority."

"That makes you very nearly an equal second." Shizuru replied then, carrying the blades back to their proper confinement. "Do you have any idea how utterly destroyed that girl would be if she found out that you were hurt, or worse?" At the admonishing question, Shizuru knew she struck a cord. "You say you want to protect her? Then there's more to do than simply keeping her alive, and I think you know that better than you can admit."

"This is about last night, isn't it? This has nothing to do with Nao." Natsuki groused. "What did I tell you?"

"That isn't any of my current concern." Shizuru told Natsuki. "Your health is." Her voice was soft, but the anger that trickled it was becoming harder to suppress. "How can you even amuse getting into a fight if you make yourself ill? If you're tired all the time, how can you hope to face any opponent properly?" Her mind was reeling, and her heart stung just a little. "This is about Nao." Shizuru finally said with a sigh. "This is about how she perceives you...how she aspires to become the very same thing that you are." To say she felt confused was an understatement. "People have to watch you...and to add insult to that injury, you put on quite the show, even when you don't realize it."

"Then maybe I should go someplace else, so that you don't have to watch." Natsuki's words were cold...too cold.

They sent a chill down Shizuru's back, and deep frown marred her otherwise beautiful face. "That's right, you can take the easy way out." The implication was a heavy one. "You're a runner, so I've been told."

"Damn it, Shizuru, don't make things harder than they are." Natsuki sighed, she liked it here, but she knew from the start, her time here was only temporary. "I don't run away from my obligations, or the promises I've made." The clock was ticking down, and she didn't know when it would end. "If anything, I run headlong, until I catch what I'm after."

"In doing so, you'll leave everyone else behind." Shizuru told her. "You'll continue to stand there, and tell me all about what you say you have to do." There were times, like now, when she felt as if she were looking into the hardened eyes of a criminal. "You'll do whatever you have to, when the time comes. I'm not blind to that. I can read between the lines." She closed her eyes, and sighed just a little. "I have a feeling you'll walk out that door one day, and you won't look back." It was barely a murmur. "Despite what you say, that won't protect anyone."


End file.
